We’ve been engaging in the conversation of porn and lust.   And really we are challenging the assumption that “porn is expected” and “my addiction will always be a part of my life.”  I realize lust is powerful and it seems to be everywhere.  But that’s where living intentionally must become a natural part of your life.  I have to be intentional with what I see, what I do, how I live, how I love, how I father, how I worship, how I seek God, etc. 

 

If you haven’t checked out parts 1 & 2 yet, please read them to lay a foundation for this part 3.

 

Cold turkey quitting doesn’t work for most it seems.  It can be discouraging, overwhelming and defeating.   That’s why you need an action plan.  So here is a 7 point action plan to walk in freedom from pornography:

 

Live daily in freedom. 

The reality is you are built to talk to God.  When you ask God to forgive you, He does!  Scripture says in 1 John 1:9, “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” When you ask God to forgive you, it puts you back in alignment to God’s holiness and godliness.  That’s God’s gift to you.  That’s mercy and grace which are new every day for you.  God says this about you:

 

The faithful love of the Lord never ends!  His mercies never cease. Great is his faithfulness; His mercies begin afresh each morning.  Lamentations 3:22-23

 

Mercy is forgiveness you don’t deserve but God gives it and grace is the blessing of God and his affirmation of you that you didn’t earn…and it’s all because of Jesus.   So when you choose to pray every day (regardless of what happened yesterday), you stay close to God and reminded of who you are and what Jesus has done. 

 

Stop letting temptations disqualify you

Their is a big difference between temptation and sin.  Even Jesus was tempted in all things as we are yet did not sin (Hebrews 4:15).  Our temptations that we experience are not sins.  The difference is when we agree with the desire instead of resisting it.  That’s why lust is so devious because it's an inward issue making the distinction between temptation and sin hard to tell the difference.  Here’s what I mean: Sex is enticing to you because God put the desire in you to be fruitful as a human being (Genesis 1:28).   So to desire sex isn’t wrong.  If you were to be tempted to have sex, the temptation isn’t wrong but to give in and start to think what would sex be like with that person, what they look like underneath that H&M ensamble, etc.  That would be the sin because you stopped resisting your mind and heart and started to let go and not restrain yourself which is sin according to the Bible (Matthew 5:27-28).   Stop beating yourself up over temptation and get serious about resisting sin and pursuing Jesus.

 

Recognize shame in your life

There is a difference between feeling bad and being bad.  We love oreo’s at my house.  When my son sneaks an oreo before dinner when he knows he can’t have one, he feels bad.  That’s called guilt…he knows he’s guilty and if I find out, he’s doing 100 sit-ups in my living room.  He’s still my “strong, brave, lover of Jesus” (that’s what his name Magnus Anders Kristian means).  That hasn’t changed because guilt says, “I did a bad thing.”  But shame is different shame says, “I am bad.”  If my son had these thoughts in his head, “ I am a liar and a thief.  I don’t deserve to be forgiven.”  I would say "that is a lie, son.  You are still strong, brave and a lover of Jesus...that hasn't changed, boy."    Magnus is not bad, he’s still my son to me. Just because he was tempted and gave in to eat his oreo doesn’t mean he’s bad it just means he’s guilty.  Don’t judge the feeling but judge the truth of the moment:  you are guilty but forgiven because of your heavenly Father and His forgiveness through Jesus. 

 

 

Accept your identity from God not your sin

Your temptation doesn’t define you.  As a Chrsitian, if you are tempted to want to have sex, that doesn’t make you a porn addict (see previous point).   Your temptation isn’t your identity.  I have talked to guys who have said to me, “Alan, I’m a porn addict.”  When I ask them about it, they say because they have looked at porn or have had lustful thoughts a month ago.  I reply first if they asked God to forgive them and they usually say yes.  Then I say, “Man, if you know Christ, you are a ‘son’ of God…not a porn addict (Romans 8:15).  Your temptations or even past sins do not define you if you are follower of Christ…that’s what you were not who you are (1 Corinthians 6:9-11).  Your temptation doesn’t define you…God does.   Your bad behaviors are not your identity.  If you live you act your alias then you become that and spend your life proving your not and trying not to be that.  But when you get in the presence of Jesus and others who love Jesus, they remind you that you are not your temptation but you are God’s son and daughter.

 

Avoid Isolation

God put others in our life to encourage you.  Most guys don’t want to talk about it.  But you need to.  That’s why God put people in your life so that you can “give an account” of life if it’s in the black or the red (for my accounting nerds, that pun is for you).  God uses others to encourage (to put “in courage”) us and help us overcome.  I have friends I can call at a moment’s notice and tell then if I’m struggling and I am healthy today because of them in my life.  And I couldn’t do it without them.  Even Scripture speak about “confessing your sins so you can be healed” (James 5:16)  We know only Christ can forgive sins, but telling another person helps us to not only “speak it out loud” but helps us process it with them to affirm God’s forgiveness of sins in our lives.

 

Live in grace

The rhythms of grace make living in freedom not “work” but as simple as breathing.  Grace permeates every area of your life as a Christian.  This beautiful expression of grace (God being for you and with you ) is for you only because of Jesus.  The sin of pornography in your life is taken away because of Christ’s work of becoming your sin so you don’t have to carry it and let it dominate it you (2 Corinthians 5:21).   But shame has a way of trying to keep sin around and have you keep repenting for the same sin you repented of last month.  You are forgiven and free from sin because Jesus says it's the truth (John 8:36). 

 

 Stop asking God to take what you're meant to have

You can pray and God WILL forgive you.  Young people seem to pray, “take this longing But God willtake the feelings of desiring sex from you because it’s God plan for you to be a sexual creature (unless you have a grace to be single which is for some).  We are sexual beings with sexual desires.  He gave us perametersf rot his to fulfill our sexual needs inside of Scripture and it will be the most fulfilling when staying inside those boundaries.  But outside of that it will bring shame.  The culture has distoreted and confused a generation to think that porn is normal.  Not just sites that are raunchy but “rated M for mature” on our TV shows prove to us that “rockin’ under the sheets” is OK but let’s be honest, it’s soft-core porn and we have to know how to navigate that.

 

Think Long-term
We want to live in the moment.  We are conditioned to live in the moment.    But God always speaks of seasons, seed, growth and harvest.  We are meant to go for the long haul of life and it’s not easy.  Pornography allows for an easy way out.  It’s the pleasure of a sexual relationship without the commitment or hard work of a real relationship.  I’ve been married for almost 20 years and the truth is marriage takes effort.  It’s the long obedience with God that matters in the end.  We are being conditioned that overnight success is normal and in turn, overnight relationships and it’s benefits are normal.  Porn says you can have the benefits of sex without the cost of a relationship.  The lie is that it costs you so much more and the end result is loss, hurt, pain and selfishness.  Our culture celebrates the benefits without the hard work.  Overcoming the painful effects of lust in your life will take time but it can be done.  Don’t cut short the legacy God always had in mind for you and your family for 45 seconds of pleasure.   It’s just not worth it. 

 

Any other one’s you would add?