Alan Pastian

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#blunt on shame

The greatest human desire is to be connected.  Shame is the greatest enemy of authentic connection between God and man and healthy community with each other.  Shame says you should be excluded and that you aren't valuable anymore.  That you're a disgrace.  To "dis' grace" is to reject the very God-ordained and valuable acceptance that you don't have to earn to belong with others.  The first observance of shame is first observed in the Bible when Adam and Eve sin.  God's response is "where are you?"  This isn't because God didnt know where they were but because God wanted to know how they were.  Shame compels you to remove yourself and put yourself into hiding.  Shame leads to isolation.  Shame wants to keep you in solitary confinement so get out of isolation because it won't end well for you if you stay there.  Isolation and rejection may be the reaction of Kingdom of man but the response of the Kingdom of God is acceptance and belonging.  

You can recognize the voice of shame because shame says "you are the wrong person...you don't belong" but forgiveness has a different tone to it. Forgiveness says,  "even though you made the wrong choice...you still belong."  That's why repentance is so powerful. Repentance removes shame from you and vulnerability keeps it from returning to you.  Vulnerability is the willingness to say, "I accept you before you accept me."  Vulnerability is the starting place of connection and authenticity is the sustenance of that connection. Authenticity dismantles who others want you to be so you can be who you're supposed to be despite your faults and sins. Even though shame tries to label you, you are not your temptation battle.  You are a son or daughter of God the father...and that doesn't change.