I think your destiny is less about WHAT you're supposed to do but WHO you are supposed to do it with.  So find the people around you who are modeling where you want to go. Find people who have gone before you and have walked through your life stage to coach you through it.  Find someone who is similar in strengths and personality with you and ask them how they have dealt with the personality traits that can sabotage.  Usually those relationships are walking down a path or have walked down that path and you can simply follow them or at least they can point you in the right direction.  Proverbs 13:20 says,

"Walk with the wise and become wise; associate with fools and get in trouble."  

So find good friends.  I’ve spent a lot of time trying to intentionally pursue friendships and relationships with people who are smarter, more skilled and simply ‘better’ than me.  To become a better person and leader, spend time with people who are better than you.  A better me leads to a better future for me.  I believe the answer to building a better future by building a better tribe.

Tribe is my own word that I use to define and rally those relationships that are meaningful to me, that champion my current season and that dream with me for my future.  Seth Godin, from his book Tribes, says this about these relationships, "A tribe is a group of people connected to one another, connected to a leader and connected to an idea....  A group needs only two things to be a tribe:  a shared interest and a way to communicate."  Friendships often start early. And take work. In my 20's, my relationships seem to have deeper meaning and importance to me. I need people who can speak into my life who know me well.  So make sure to surrounded yourself with the right friends.  Let those in your tribe be from all walks of life.  They may or may not be the people from your 20’s, but be on the lookout for relationships that have potential to inspire you and for you to inspire. 

 

 

Faith is meant to move you forward to move you.  To make you stop and double take; to stop you in your tracks and change your direction; to get you to make changes in your life for the better.  Each single step forward adds up these incremental steps to become advancement…to become forward motion for your own faith journey. And who you go on the journey with is probably the most important question you have to ask yourself. God knows this and highlights this is the book of RUTH:

“ Your people are my people. Your God is my God. Where you go I go.” - Ruth 1:16

These are the words of Ruth. She needed a family and God gave her one. She needed a group of people to love her, surround her and value her. And when she found it, she chose never to let them go. Even when times go tough, she chose to be tough and to not hold onto WHAT but WHO. It was God and the people God gave her in her life that sustained her and provided for her. Tribes are critical for your journey. And I’ve built relational trajectory with 5 specific groups of people that surround me and compel me to move forward. These are people on the journey with me, ahead of me, beside me, beyond me and behind me. I have broken up this incredible group of people as follows: my MAIN3, MODELS, MENTORS, MASTERS and MENTEES.

Let’s define each of these 5 groups that are so critical to your own personal growth:

MY MAIN 3: Those who are “with me”

These are my “inner circle.” These are people who I am closest with and that I share my life with. I have no doubt that they are with me whole heartedly. This distinct group of people accept me for who I am, they know my faults and I don’t have to explain myself with them. They are committed to me and I don’t have to keep them engaged or “win them over” because they already believe in me and want to be with me. They get me, they know me and I want them in the room with me. They are my closest friends and we share what we need to share. They are my accountability. They are my sounding board. They are my encouragement when I’m lacking courage and they are my “yes” when all I can say is “no.” Jesus had a Peter, James and John who were with him when he was “transparent” (Matthew 17, Mark 9, Luke 9) and when he was on mission to help Him with His mission (Luke 8:50-55; Matthew 17:1-2; Matthew 26:36-39). No matter what, your MAIN3 are necessary for you to keep going forward.

MENTORS: Those who are “ahead of me”

The wisdom we gain from the experiences of others is valuable.  No question.  Mentorship is unique to Christianity because it moves you beyond experience into a deeper level of relationship with them and Jesus.  For the Jews, education was one of their highest values. You were made to learn from someone and to follow someone.  Here’s a profound theological thought is this:  when God sent His Son into the world, He came as a first-century Galilean rabbi.  Not a ruler, politician or businessman but a teacher {Mark 9:5; John 1:38; 20:16}.  The Teacher/student relationship was critical for Kingdom advancement.  It's said Jesus spent over 80% of his time in his ministry with the 12 disciples.  The word "mentor" has its roots in Greek mythology, where it was the name of the adviser of the young Telemachus in Homer's Odyssey.  Since the mid-18th century, it has been used to describe an experienced and trusted adviser. Most of us want to be better at what we do, and a mentor will provide you with guidance you won't find anywhere else. Mentorship is a rich, transformative and extremely vital to the new young Christian to have in their life. Because who you follow in life is more critical to your future than what you do in life.  Who’s ahead of you matters. They are clearing the path ahead of you. They are blazing a trail for you to follow. They have gone where you need to go. They can show you the ups and downs, the high’s and low’s and the dangers that lay ahead as you go forward on your journey. Paul consistently modeled what it means to look like as a follower of Jesus. He is famously noted for saying these words: “follow me as I follow Christ” (1 Corinthians 11:1). Find a mentor who is confident in his followership because that’s a guy you can get behind.

MODELS: Show who are “beside me”  

Those who are beside me are people in my life that are modeling to me what it looks like to be the best version of ME in my season during this time.  They aren’t ahead of me or behind me but right in step with me.  These are people who are in my profession who are doing it as good or better than I am that I can learn from.  Thjese are people who are in my parenting season of life who I am trading “lifehack” skills from.  These are people who are beside me in my faithwalk as iron sharpens iron to push me so we can challenge each other. It’s not about being the same age but really the same season of life.  These are your people who are meant to inspire you, challeng you and encourage.  I like to think of the New Testament Character, Baranabus, who was beside Paul for many years, encouraging him and motivating him to be the leader God has always wanted him to be.  You find Paul by his side throughtout the. New Testament.  Barnabus names literal;ly means “son of encouragement” and you find that best lived out here:

“22 News of what was happening in Antioch reached the church of Jerusalem, so the apostles sent Barnabas to Antioch as their emissary. 23 When he got there and witnessed for himself God’s marvelous grace, he was enthused and overjoyed. He encouraged[f] the believers to remain faithful and cling to the Lord with passionate hearts. 24 Barnabas was a good man,[h]full of the Spirit of holiness, and he exuded a life of faith. Because of his ministry even more crowds of people were brought to the Lord! 25 Barnabas left for Tarsus to find Saul and bring him back to Antioch. 26 Together Saul and Barnabas ministered there for a full year, equipping the growing church and teaching the vast number of new converts.”  Acts 11:22-26 TPT Barnabus

MASTERS: Those who are “beyond me”

These are not just people who are ahead of you…they are far exceeding you. They are beyond what you could ever ask for think. They are your hero’s. These are people that are lifted up and celebrated as people who have made it in life: professionally, spiritually, financially, etc. They are “masters” at what they do and they have earned the right to be experts in their field. You can admire them on tv, you can read their biography, you can study their habits, you can listen to their interviews, download their podcasts, etc. The thought of meeting them personally, may not happen, but you will discover them through the mediums that you have in front of you. I have heard it said that when you read a book by someone, it’s the equivalent of spending 12 years with that person. Whether that’s true or not, it’s the idea that you are downloading their perspective, their life lessons, their experiences, etc. Because they represent an ideal and espouse values that you are drawn to. Jesus Himself was referred to as “Master” in the Bible. In the New Testament the term Master, or didàskalos, is used 58 times, 48 of which are in the Gospels, mostly applied to Jesus; and the verb didàskein, to teach, 95 times two thirds of these are use in the gospels and also in this case, prevalently applied to Jesus. Hence Jesus is the "master" par excellence of the Christian community.

MENTEES: Those who are “behind me”

Successors are the fruit of your success.  What you pass on to those coming behind you is the true measure of greatness.  If Jesus says greater things you will do when I go, then our heart is for those coming after us to do greater things than us because leaving a legacy is our destiny.  Recognizing who is coming behind you is critical for those who are following you and also for you. God wants you to be an example, a pattern and an example for those who are following in your footsteps. Like a mom or a dad have the responsibility to show their sons and daughters the right way from the wrong way, so do you owe it to yourself to show those you are mentoring what true life and leadership looks like. Find family and you find faith.  You’re more than the sum of your parts.  We can accomplish more when we partner together.  We become more when we become family. If you mentor someone u represent the direction of where/how they should be headed so live your future well.

Remember your leaders, who spoke the word of God to you. Consider the outcome of their way of life and imitate their faith.  Hebrews 13:6-8