If there is an issue that I hear more and more talked about with young people, it’s the issue of pornography. Personally, my discussions are more frequent than ever because porn is more frequent than ever. It seems to make sense that the more accessible lust is the more acceptable lust is. Which is why we need to create contexts for more conversations on this matter of sexual brokenness with this generation.
“It seems to make sense that the more accessible lust is the more acceptable lust is. ”
We’ve always been a sexualized culture and that’s why the Bible addresses the issues of sexuality with wisdom from Scripture (Proverbs 7, John 4:16-18; 1 Corinthians 6:12-20, 1 Thessalonians 4:3-4; 1 Peter 1:15; etc). So God’s not outta touch…He gets it. Even though “pornea” is where we get the word “porn” found in the Greek in Scripture 32 times (Matthew 5:32, Romans 1:29-31, 1 Corinthians 5:1, Galations 5:19-20, Jude 1:7, and 32 other times in the Bible), porn has been around us from the days of the Bible. But it became mainstream in the 1953 with the introduction of Playboy and from there, it has become a 10-14 billion dollar industry (making more money than our professional sports of football, basketball and baseball combined.) You might say, “Well I don’t pay for it” but your click frequency creates advertising opportunities for disgusting companies to profit from it. So every click of your mouse and log-on to their site is a dollar sign keeping the industry nice and strong to produce more, FYI.
I’ve chosen to engage this topic with the young people I’ve been pastoring because I really believe you can be free and stay free. I’ve experienced an anticipated response from culture, specifically from young guys, where it seems failure is normal and lust is expected. A group of guys sitting around affirming the expected failures involving our sex drive is not God’s best for these guys or you…it can be progress to be open about failures, yes, but it’s not the desired end result for any young person battling porn addiction. Sexual dysfunction (porn, masturbation, casual sex, friends with benefits, etc) can become accepted and tolerated with others. Even believers in a spiritual community can become comfortable with it (this was the case with people in the city of Corinth). But we can live free from the effects of pornography in our culture.
For me personally as a pastor, porn is only a “click” away and I am choosing every day to live free and clear from it’s addictive tendencies. I really want to be an example of a follower of Christ who can live free rather than giving excuses I’ve heard (“well as guys we aren’t really ever ‘free’ from lust, you know?”…not true). I refuse to be the pastor that has “the gap” of what happens publically and what happens privately. That’s how pastors, leaders, husbands, fathers, sons, etc, implode because there is a slow erosion of character in the gaps between what people see us on our “platforms” at work, at school, families, teams, etc and who we are when no one is looking. I will do whatever it takes to not have "the gap" and live a life of who I am on-stage and who I am off-stage be consistent. It’s a fight and I am choosing Jesus which means I am winning.
“I think in the Christian culture we have a heavy emphasis on ‘not sinning’ but we also need an equal if not more emphasis on pursuing purity. ”
I still have contact with young people who are part of #fightclub. We are all "young Brad Pitts" fighting ourselves and overcoming our own personal battles of sexual addiction while “you do not talk about fight club” we all know it’s there and we have chosen to be fight and win. I have talked to guys who have started with the struggle but who are now free from porn because we choose to be honest, accountable, hungry for God, loving our wives, giving our all, honoring all the women around us, loving God and pursing Jesus with everything we got. While not being weird Christians who have decided to move to a cave without electricity to avoid the dangers of media. It is about resisting but it’s also about "drawing near." I think in the Christian culture we have a heavy emphasis on “not sinning” but we also need an equal if not more emphasis on pursuing purity.
James says, “Submit to God. Resist the devil. Draw near to God and He will draw near to you.” I know the devil isn’t behind every pornographic temptation. But the idea there is RESIST. We know how to put filters on our phones, software on our computers, develop community groups to share our struggles, etc. So we choose to resist and we can be good at it. But are we as good at drawing near or in other words PURSUING? If not, we need to be.
It’s not just about stopping bad behaviors but t's also about starting new ones. Isn’t that repentance? It’s turning from sin (rebellion towards God's best plan for us) and moving forward into God’s grace (God's approval of us). As Christians, we can be great at turning from sin but can be bad at moving forward. Repentance without progression is spiritually walking in circles. Maybe our battle with porn is less of a spiritual rollercoaster and more of a tilt-a-whirl. Moving in circles because we don’t pursue we just keep trying to stop sinning and turn but with no forward motion. This is why so many incredible young people give up or say to me overcoming porn is “too difficult.” It’s less about trying to give you a 1001 ways to stop looking at porn and more about giving you a singular goal: pursue Jesus.
“As Christians, we can be great at turning from sin but can be bad at moving forward. Repentance without progression is spiritually walking in circles. ”
Porn allows us to give ourselves to something that we CAN SEE that is NOT REAL. But the Bible offers us to give ourselves to something that we CAN’T SEE that IS REAL. It’s faith in Jesus (1 Peter 1:8-9). The best way to overcome the temptation in general is to follow the one who overcame temptation and didn’t sin. That’s Jesus. So seek Christ. Worship. Pray. Fill your room with the praises of Christ. Seek the cross. Love God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength. I guarantee it is a lot harder to look at pornography when you’ve got Jesus Culture playing in your room with your Bible on your bed and a Scripture graphic on your phone that you are trying to commit to memory and look at porn at the same time. You are much less likely to turn to porn when God means so much to you because porn loses it’s pull over you when God matters more to you.
Lust says “I want it.” The struggle is real but so is Jesus. So here’s the first step in beating your porn addiction: Make Jesus your pursuit. If lust says “I want it” then let pursuit say “I want God.” If pride says, “I got this on my own” then let pursuit say “I got God and He’s with me.” If weakness says “I can’t do it, I wanna give up” then let pursuit say, “God can do it keep going” because of grace His strength is made perfect in my weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9).
Beating porn starts first with Jesus and letting him into your life. Not religion or performance-based faith but a true encounter with Christ. And keep going, keep seeking and see what God can do. It's never a one-and-done but it's a daily pursuit with Christ. Just like any addiction, porn is one day at a time. Pursuit with Jesus is one day at a time as well. Getting to know Him more and letting Him change you from the inside out.