PART 5: My Friend Is gay So How Do I Relate As A Christian?
If you haven’t checked out our other Parts to this article, you can read them here….
QUESTION 8: Are homosexuals going to hell?
Christianity is saying that, you want God to be in charge and not you. Christianity is putting Jesus as your Savior and making Him Lord of your life. It’s removing you from calling the shots and having God call the shots.
Hell is complete separation from God. It’s not a place that God looks at and finds pleasure in by watching and saying, “I told you so.” No. Hell is the absence of God. If God is and is the source of peace, joy, love, hope, pleasure, etc. Then to remove God from a place would result in anger, hate, hoplelessnes, pain, etc. Hell was meant for the fallen angels who chose to reject God’s care and kindness.
People that follow God choose to not live by their own choices but try to align their choices to God and live under surrender to God telling them what to do. People go to heaven because they want to submit to God. They want God to be over them, protect them, love them, provide for them, etc. People that “choose hell” say they don’t want to live under the rule and reign of God to tell them what to do. They want to live by their own rules. That’s why they choose hell because they choose their own spiritual destiny on their own terms. You are ultimately living for yourself so in the end it’s up to you to save yourself. If you want to live for God, you get His salvation and you get God forever. If you don’t want to be with God and you want to be your own savior then you get that as well.
My point, you don’t go to hell for being a homosexual…you go to hell for rejecting Jesus.
Jesus talks about greed 10x more than sexual adultery. You know when you are committing adultery. No one thinks they are greedy. However the Bible ismuch harder on greed. Greed disqualifies you from heaven just as much as homosexuality will. What sends you to hell is being your own God. A life without Jesus a savior, sends you to hell…not homosexuality,
Question 9: Can you go from being gay to being straight?
Let me say this again, Deliverance from homosexuality was never about becoming a heterosexual. It was about becoming a “son or daughter of God." As a child, you have an inheritance and you have every right to inherit what is rightfully yours because of what Jesus did on the cross for us.
“Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. And such were some of you. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.” 1 Corinthians 6:9-11
My opinion: I will encourage holiness more than hetersosexuality. If you are gay, the goal is not to become hetersosexual by finding the hottest girl in church and falling in love with them, marrying them, etc. The goal is finding your Savior and falling in love with Jesus.
Holiness has a bad rap. Holiness is protecting what is most valuable, sacred and special. It’s keeping it safe, set apart, secure and protected. That is your relationship with God. So choose to fight against what could hurt this special and sacred relationship. Fiercely protect and nurture your relationship with God. It’s defending and safeguarding your “commitment” when you became a Christian. Making Holiness less list of “no’s” about everything around you and more a singular “yes” to God in everything He brings you. Holiness is embracing who you are with God rather than resisting who you are without God. It’s proving who God is first and then revealing who you are second. That's the difference between “what I can do because of God’s Holiness” instead of “what I can do for God’s Holiness.”
When the Holy Spirit fills you at your faith conversion, you become Holy. Not only that but your family becomes Holy, your career becomes Holy, your classroom becomes Holy, etc. The opinions of others become powerless and the convictions of God become powerful. So, a change of situation doesn’t lead to a change of conviction. A change of feeling doesn’t lead to a change of faith. You continue to stay true to who you are despite your surroundings. It’s less “being in the world but not of it” and instead becomes more about “belonging in the world and restoring it.”
Holiness is being set apart so that you can go back into the crowds and be a compelling force to affect the actions, behavior, and opinions of others. Holiness is influence. David was set apart in a field and set apart by Samuel so that he could go into the crowds of soldiers and influence a King, an army and a giant. Moses was set apart in the wilderness to go back into culture of Egypt to change the hearts of an administration of oppression. Jesus was set apart in a desert so He could go back and face the opposition. Holiness doesn’t keep us separated but compels us to run towards our Pharisees, our giants, our pharaoh’s and our devils.
"So you must live as God’s obedient children. Don’t slip back into your old ways of living to satisfy your own desires. You didn’t know any better then. But now you must be holy in everything you do, just as God who chose you is holy. " 1 Peter 1:14-16 NLT
Here’s a few questions to ask yourself to build empathy with those around you who are experiencing same-sex attraction:
How would your life change if you had same sex attraction’
How would it affect your relationships?
How should it affect your future
Hoe would it effect your faith?
SO TRY TO UNDERSTAND AND GET COMPASSION AND EMPATHY. You will fall into one of thesefive different evangelical responses to homosexuality:
1) Gay-hating Christians
These so-called Christians abhor homosexuals. Some are moved to violence and others hold protests and hold up signs that say God hates “gay-people.” (They use a more derogatory term, obviously). They even protest the funerals of soldiers who were killed in combat with signs like God hates gay-people” and “God hates America.”
2) Gay-opposing Christians
These Christians give resistance to the gay community and say you are not welcome here. They join boycotts of companies that offer anything that appears to be gay-friendly. They separate themselves from gay co-workers, classmates, and or teachers. They use phrases like, “homosexual agenda” to talk about all gay people. They don’t pray for gay people. They don’t walk across the room to befriend gay people. They see all homosexuals as enemies of the Christian faith.
3) Gay-neutral Christians
These Christians are clueless. They do not read newspapers. They do not go online. They don’t engage culture and they certainly don’t care what outsiders think about them. They are modern day monastic Christians that are completely indifferent. You ask them what they think about homosexuality in our culture and they say, “No comment.”
4) Gay-friendly Christians
These Christians have straight friends and gay friends. They remain faithful to the Scriptures teaching and so they do not condone the homosexual lifestyle of their gay friends, but neither do they condemn their gay friends. They love and care for gay people and gently look for ways to show them the truth and grace available in Christ.
5) Gay-affirming Christians
These Christians affirm homosexuals in their sexual orientation. They communicate the love of Christ by accepting loving, monogamous, conceptual homosexual relationships with disregard to Scripture, etc. They accept homosexuality as an acceptable lifestyle for followers of Christ.
So how should we live if we want to change the perceptions of outsiders and be a better representative of Jesus in the world? For me it is to become gay-friendly. Each of the other options do not fit with biblical guidelines. It is Christ-like to be gay-friendly, because Jesus himself was called a friend of sinners,
Luke 6:34 NIV The Son of Man came eating and drinking, and you say, ‘Here is a glutton and a drunkard, a friend of tax collectors and “sinners.” ‘
If homosexuality is a sin, then we can be friends of sinners like Jesus was a friend of sinners. Without doing in harm to the spirit of the text, you could remove the words “tax collectors and sinners” with “gay and lesbians.” To gay, lesbian, bi-sexual, and transgendered people, I want to say, “I am sorry. Will you forgive us for being so un-Christ like? I don’t have any gay friends, but I am interested in making new friends.”
We as Christians need to confess and repent and become gay-friendly.
Did this help you find some answers?