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What If You Became the Person You Were Meant to Be In 2023?

12 Ways To Stay Inspired to stick to your goals this year: 

1. Remember it's roots before fruits  

People are quick to celebrate what they SEE a person doing but tend to forget that what was SOWN determined it's success.  We don't live in a heavily aggregate society like in the past, but the Bible is clear that what we reap, we sow (Galations 6:8).  Many keep that in a negative context but what about the hope in those words!  If you are leading an organization or a team, what you say and do will produce fruit.  If you want to see your organization have a heart to help others, then take them to places where others are hurting.  If you want to have a generous church, then talk about the power of giving, etc.  What you sow is seed that produces roots that leads to fruits.  The reality is, it's what's underground that really matters.   

2. Don't compare yourself to others because your obedience will never look the same but the blessing is guaranteed

Comparison traps are far to easy to fall into.  The more I follow others in social media, the more I find myself sizing myself up.  When we do nothing but look through the instagram lens for what God is doing through other people, we are simply getting a snapshot of their lives. Social media is a billboard, not a journal. Ministry is hard, whether it's 10 people or ten thousand.  You're called to fulfill  what God has called YOU to do...not someone else.   

3. Become better at responding to altars than making altars

That's old-school lingo to simply say, reduce the high amount of spiritual activity in your life and choose seek God first, as often as you can, when you can.  We become good at being concerned about helping others become better spiritually at the expense of neglecting our own walk with God.  Your "yes" to God's request will produce far better results for you and others than your "yes" to everybody else's requests.  A well that is dry is just a hole in the ground but a well that is full of water becomes a source of life for a whole community.  

 

 

4. In your weakest moments God is always the strongest

Your maturity is evident when your leadership becomes less how you feel and more about your faith.  We have to move beyond emotion to believe that God loves us just the same when we're at our worst and when we're at our best.  It takes faith to believe that God will use us in my least confident moments to produce a strong result to affirm our leadership.  Strength is not measured by might or power but by God's Spirit (2 Corinthians 12:9/Zechariah 4:6).  So allow your weakest moments that you are experiencing to become the strongest moments with God to produce the greatest faith you have ever seen. 

  

  

5. Be faithful...starting now

The "next" will always call out for you.  Especially if you are talented, gifted or have a platform that gets recognition.  In our culture we have a tendency to overvalue "15 minutes of fame" and undervalue faithfulness.  We curate 140 characters on twitter but don't cultivate character in our relationships.  Faithfulness is an attritbute of God.  Faithfulness is a fruit of the Spirit.  Opportunities are everywhere.  Success is valued but can be misleading.  Succeeding at the wrong thing could be your biggest failure.  That's why it's important to steward your "now" well because it is training and shaping for your "next."  Don't take shortcuts.  Shortcuts "cut short" the work of God on your life.   Grow where you're planted.  Become grounded and develop a root system.  I was out to dinner with a great friend this weekend and we were talking about the unseen parts of our lives are so critical and rarely celebrated.  We don't celebrate the prayer lives of others, we don't instagram our "dad diaper changes" so mom can take a few minutes breather, we don't periscope our devo lives consistently to show the world we know how to seek God, etc.  What's underground isn't as celebrated as what's on our platform.  The reality is roots precede fruits.  To bear great fruits you need great roots.  Stay grounded and focused and watch God bring your future to life.   

  

6. Discover what Refuels you and Fill up Often

Some things give you energy in life, some things drain you. Figure out what refuels you. Most likely it's not going to be what you think.   Sometimes the most spiritual thing you can do is watch a movie, go to a baseball game, hit up a new restaurant with friends, finally get that redox you've been wanting, take a nap, etc.  What ever fills your tank... do more of it.  

  

7. Make Your Character a Priority

Character sustains what God is building around you.    Your skills, talents and personality will take you only as far as your character can sustain you.  Choose to do the right thing no matter what...you won't regret it.  

  

8. Don’t Live in the Indecision

Living with regrets comes from bad decisions or in decision.      Bad decisions are easy to spot because you usually recognize them after you've made them.  Indecision is harder to see. Because deciding not to decide is still a decision.  This avoids living a life with regrets because you "wish you could have done something." Make the best decision you can with the information you have, then pursue it with everything you’ve got from a posture of humility. 

  

9. Book appointments with God and don’t break them

Your calendar will naturally fill up with urgent things other people believe are important.  And you will watch a decade or more pass by without doing anything really significant.  Anything done without God isn’t fruitful.  

I put appointments in my calendar that I don’t move so I keep that time with God and I don’t break them.  I use that time to seek God, pray, have my blank journal page and write down the vision, plans and purposes God has for me.  Then when someone asks you if you’re busy, you can truthfully say “I’d love to help, but I have a commitment with someone and I just can’t break it.” 

  

10. Forgive again and again

Forgive and trust again.  Don’t let what someone else did sabotage your future.  Let’ your future thrive because you chose to forgive, and move on.  The second you stop trusting people you start living a life of isolation.  And a life of isolation is a life without impact.  Not to mention…you’ll be awfully lonely. 

  

11. Deal with your issues Now

It’s easy to blame others for what’s happened to your life.  And I hate to say it, but the common factor to the issues in your life is mostly going to be you. So deal with you. You have issues. Everyone does.  You may not be able to change the other person but you can absolutely change YOU and how YOU respond to a person or situation. Give people permission to call out your "stuff."  Go have some serious conversations with those that you trust. Do what it takes to deal with your junk.  You'll hi-five your future self!

12. JOIN THE FUTURE YOU PROJECT!

There is as version of you that you haven't seen yet. Who you are is the sum total of the choices you have made up to this point. We have been celebrated for making good choices just like we are all guilty of making bad ones. What if you could envision a better version of yourself and what if you could set a course to get there? Choosing to become "The Future You" is what this webinar is about. Become the person you are meant to be this year and join me on our live webinar:

REGISTER HERE FOR THE FUTURE YOU WEBINAR!

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How To Find Your People To Get You To Your Future

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I think your destiny is less about WHAT you're supposed to do but WHO you are supposed to do it with.  So find the people around you who are modeling where you want to go. Find people who have gone before you and have walked through your life stage to coach you through it.  Find someone who is similar in strengths and personality with you and ask them how they have dealt with the personality traits that can sabotage.  Usually those relationships are walking down a path or have walked down that path and you can simply follow them or at least they can point you in the right direction.  Proverbs 13:20 says,


"Walk with the wise and become wise; associate with fools and get in trouble."  


So find good friends.  I’ve spent a lot of time trying to intentionally pursue friendships and relationships with people who are smarter, more skilled and simply ‘better’ than me.  To become a better person and leader, spend time with people who are better than you.  A better me leads to a better future for me.  I believe the answer to building a better future by building a better tribe.

Tribe is my own word that I use to define and rally those relationships that are meaningful to me, that champion my current season and that dream with me for my future.  Seth Godin, from his book Tribes, says this about these relationships, "A tribe is a group of people connected to one another, connected to a leader and connected to an idea....  A group needs only two things to be a tribe:  a shared interest and a way to communicate."  Friendships often start early. And take work. In my 20's, my relationships seem to have deeper meaning and importance to me. I need people who can speak into my life who know me well.  So make sure to surrounded yourself with the right friends.  Let those in your tribe be from all walks of life.  They may or may not be the people from your 20’s, but be on the lookout for relationships that have potential to inspire you and for you to inspire. 

 

 

Faith is meant to move you forward to move you.  To make you stop and double take; to stop you in your tracks and change your direction; to get you to make changes in your life for the better.  Each single step forward adds up these incremental steps to become advancement…to become forward motion for your own faith journey. And who you go on the journey with is probably the most important question you have to ask yourself. God knows this and highlights this is the book of RUTH:



“ Your people are my people. Your God is my God. Where you go I go.” - Ruth 1:16

These are the words of Ruth. She needed a family and God gave her one. She needed a group of people to love her, surround her and value her. And when she found it, she chose never to let them go. Even when times go tough, she chose to be tough and to not hold onto WHAT but WHO. It was God and the people God gave her in her life that sustained her and provided for her. Tribes are critical for your journey. And I’ve built relational trajectory with 5 specific groups of people that surround me and compel me to move forward. These are people on the journey with me, ahead of me, beside me, beyond me and behind me. I have broken up this incredible group of people as follows: my MAIN3, MODELS, MENTORS, MASTERS and MENTEES.



Let’s define each of these 5 groups that are so critical to your own personal growth:



MY MAIN 3: Those who are “with me”

These are my “inner circle.” These are people who I am closest with and that I share my life with. I have no doubt that they are with me whole heartedly. This distinct group of people accept me for who I am, they know my faults and I don’t have to explain myself with them. They are committed to me and I don’t have to keep them engaged or “win them over” because they already believe in me and want to be with me. They get me, they know me and I want them in the room with me. They are my closest friends and we share what we need to share. They are my accountability. They are my sounding board. They are my encouragement when I’m lacking courage and they are my “yes” when all I can say is “no.” Jesus had a Peter, James and John who were with him when he was “transparent” (Matthew 17, Mark 9, Luke 9) and when he was on mission to help Him with His mission (Luke 8:50-55; Matthew 17:1-2; Matthew 26:36-39). No matter what, your MAIN3 are necessary for you to keep going forward.



MENTORS: Those who are “ahead of me”

The wisdom we gain from the experiences of others is valuable.  No question.  Mentorship is unique to Christianity because it moves you beyond experience into a deeper level of relationship with them and Jesus.  For the Jews, education was one of their highest values. You were made to learn from someone and to follow someone.  Here’s a profound theological thought is this:  when God sent His Son into the world, He came as a first-century Galilean rabbi.  Not a ruler, politician or businessman but a teacher {Mark 9:5; John 1:38; 20:16}.  The Teacher/student relationship was critical for Kingdom advancement.  It's said Jesus spent over 80% of his time in his ministry with the 12 disciples.  The word "mentor" has its roots in Greek mythology, where it was the name of the adviser of the young Telemachus in Homer's Odyssey.  Since the mid-18th century, it has been used to describe an experienced and trusted adviser. Most of us want to be better at what we do, and a mentor will provide you with guidance you won't find anywhere else. Mentorship is a rich, transformative and extremely vital to the new young Christian to have in their life. Because who you follow in life is more critical to your future than what you do in life.  Who’s ahead of you matters. They are clearing the path ahead of you. They are blazing a trail for you to follow. They have gone where you need to go. They can show you the ups and downs, the high’s and low’s and the dangers that lay ahead as you go forward on your journey. Paul consistently modeled what it means to look like as a follower of Jesus. He is famously noted for saying these words: “follow me as I follow Christ” (1 Corinthians 11:1). Find a mentor who is confident in his followership because that’s a guy you can get behind.



MODELS: Show who are “beside me”  

Those who are beside me are people in my life that are modeling to me what it looks like to be the best version of ME in my season during this time.  They aren’t ahead of me or behind me but right in step with me.  These are people who are in my profession who are doing it as good or better than I am that I can learn from.  Thjese are people who are in my parenting season of life who I am trading “lifehack” skills from.  These are people who are beside me in my faithwalk as iron sharpens iron to push me so we can challenge each other. It’s not about being the same age but really the same season of life.  These are your people who are meant to inspire you, challeng you and encourage.  I like to think of the New Testament Character, Baranabus, who was beside Paul for many years, encouraging him and motivating him to be the leader God has always wanted him to be.  You find Paul by his side throughtout the. New Testament.  Barnabus names literal;ly means “son of encouragement” and you find that best lived out here:

“22 News of what was happening in Antioch reached the church of Jerusalem, so the apostles sent Barnabas to Antioch as their emissary. 23 When he got there and witnessed for himself God’s marvelous grace, he was enthused and overjoyed. He encouraged[f] the believers to remain faithful and cling to the Lord with passionate hearts. 24 Barnabas was a good man,[h]full of the Spirit of holiness, and he exuded a life of faith. Because of his ministry even more crowds of people were brought to the Lord! 25 Barnabas left for Tarsus to find Saul and bring him back to Antioch. 26 Together Saul and Barnabas ministered there for a full year, equipping the growing church and teaching the vast number of new converts.”  Acts 11:22-26 TPT Barnabus



MASTERS: Those who are “beyond me”

These are not just people who are ahead of you…they are far exceeding you. They are beyond what you could ever ask for think. They are your hero’s. These are people that are lifted up and celebrated as people who have made it in life: professionally, spiritually, financially, etc. They are “masters” at what they do and they have earned the right to be experts in their field. You can admire them on tv, you can read their biography, you can study their habits, you can listen to their interviews, download their podcasts, etc. The thought of meeting them personally, may not happen, but you will discover them through the mediums that you have in front of you. I have heard it said that when you read a book by someone, it’s the equivalent of spending 12 years with that person. Whether that’s true or not, it’s the idea that you are downloading their perspective, their life lessons, their experiences, etc. Because they represent an ideal and espouse values that you are drawn to. Jesus Himself was referred to as “Master” in the Bible. In the New Testament the term Master, or didàskalos, is used 58 times, 48 of which are in the Gospels, mostly applied to Jesus; and the verb didàskein, to teach, 95 times two thirds of these are use in the gospels and also in this case, prevalently applied to Jesus. Hence Jesus is the "master" par excellence of the Christian community.



MENTEES: Those who are “behind me”

Successors are the fruit of your success.  What you pass on to those coming behind you is the true measure of greatness.  If Jesus says greater things you will do when I go, then our heart is for those coming after us to do greater things than us because leaving a legacy is our destiny.  Recognizing who is coming behind you is critical for those who are following you and also for you. God wants you to be an example, a pattern and an example for those who are following in your footsteps. Like a mom or a dad have the responsibility to show their sons and daughters the right way from the wrong way, so do you owe it to yourself to show those you are mentoring what true life and leadership looks like. Find family and you find faith.  You’re more than the sum of your parts.  We can accomplish more when we partner together.  We become more when we become family. If you mentor someone u represent the direction of where/how they should be headed so live your future well.

Remember your leaders, who spoke the word of God to you. Consider the outcome of their way of life and imitate their faith.  Hebrews 13:6-8





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How To Better Engage In The Conversation Of Racism

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We are finding ourselves in the middle of chaos, conversations and contemplation of how we respond to prejudice, bigotry and racism in our world. As pastor, I want my community, my church and myself to be a part of the solution.  I want to see our society become transformed where the unjust becomes just, where the  “less than” become “more than”, the hurting find relief and the broken are made whole. We can’t say we care about soul of another if we don’t care about the injustice done to one another.  

The current issue of racism and the many years of mistreatment of people of color is right in front of us. How we view these very real issues we are experiencing in our world right now will determine how we respond to these very real issues.  Discovering the perspective that God has about what we are facing right now has never been more important.  That’s why It’s critical to have a “Kingdom perspective” as we approach these difficult conversations and as we engage in the chaos that we are experiencing.  It’s never been more important to “weep with those who weep” (Romans 12:15) and to act justly, love mercy and walk humbly (Micah 6:8).  

The Kingdom of God is for all of us.  And Jesus showed us all how to live at citizens of this Kingdom.  Not only that, Jesus is the perfect example of what it means to be a human being.  Jesus lived a sinless life so that we can have an example to follow and so that we have a reference point that God understands our pain and our brokenness (1 Peter 2:22; Hebrews 4:15). As Christians we believe these truths and that Jesus modeled humanity perfectly.  How Jesus responds to issues of injustice, inequity, prejudice, hate and division is an example of how we should respond, too. 

Since the days of Cain and Abel, mankind seems to have found a never-ending list of ways to create division, elevate themselves at the expense of others, stir up hatred and make others feel less than human. This unmitigated and reckless hate, heinous sinfulness and disgusting pride stands in complete and utter opposition to the truths of God’s Word. This illogical mentality of racism, sexism, classism, and every other form of prejudice is an insult and an offense to Jesus, the One who created the universe. It has no basis in truth.  It’s a lie.  That’s why this battle that we are in is spiritual at it’s core (John 8:44).

The basic lies that fuel bigotry, prejudice and racism:

They’re better than you.  

You’re less valuable than I am. 

You’re worthless. 

You don’t deserve what I deserve.

They hate you. 

These thoughts go contrary to what the Bible says about all human beings.  These thoughts are the opposite of who God created us to be. Because we were made in His image, and therefore, we are created to reflect His character, qualities, and nature.  How could someone read the words of Jesus, see the manner in which He treated those who were different than Him, those whom society had deemed lesser and unworthy, and still espouse prejudice, bigotry and racism? How does someone reconcile these thoughts with the words of Scripture:

“Do to others as you would have them do to you.” - Luke 6:31

“The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.” - Mark 12:30

“You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor[a] and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes His sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.” -  Matthew 5:43-48

And yet, as crazy and diametrically opposed as it seems, it still happens every day! People of color have experienced the exact opposite of what Biblical love and equality looks like to Jesus.  As a Christian, when I look at how I should respond to prejudice, bigotry and racism, I am looking to Jesus who modeled perfect humanity.  Jesus shows us how to engage with people who think different, look different and act different than He did.  Jesus’ message has always been “love your neighbor as yourself.”  His mission has always been “Go into all the world.” That means going into and engaging with people who need love and acceptance in a world and at a time when it seems like He (and we) are surrounded by hatred, brutality, political abuse and religious excuse.   

Jesus wasn’t afraid to engage in the racial tensions that were present in His day.  He addressed the racial divide that was present.  He didn’t remain silent but spoke up.  He chose to use His voice and His actions to tear down the wall of racial tension that existed between the Jews, Gentiles and the Samaritans.  It’s the closest expression of racial tensions that we have in the New Testament. How Jesus responded to these tensions gives us an example for us.

But what was this tension and how real was it in the first century? 

Jesus understood that for thousands of years, the Jewish people have been constant recipients of racial discrimination. Dating back to their time in Egypt, the Jews have experienced injustice, slavery, and hatred. Sadly, though, they weren’t just on the receiving end of the hate. For centuries, from before the birth of Christ even into the time of His ministry, the Jews held extremely derogatory prejudices against Gentiles (often referring to them as “dogs”) and even more severely against Samaritans. According to John MacArthur,

“When the nation of Israel split politically after Solomon’s rule, King Omri named the capital of the northern kingdom of Israel Samaria (1 Kings 16:24). The name eventually referred to the entire district, which had been taken captive by Assyria in 722 BC. While Assyria led most of the populace of the ten northern tribes away . . . it left a sizable population of Jews in the northern Samaritan region and then transported many non-Jews into Samaria. These groups intermingled to form a mixed race through intermarriage. Eventually, tension developed between the Samaritans and the Jews who returned from captivity. The Samaritans withdrew from the worship of Yahweh at Jerusalem and established their worship at Mt. Gerizim in Samaria . . . As a result of this history, Jews refused to accept or associate with Samaritans. Intense ethnic and cultural tensions raged historically between the two groups so that both avoided contact as much as possible.”

This tension continued, as the relationship between Jews and Samaritans at the time of Jesus was anything but pleasant. Jews considered Samaritans unacceptable and always unwelcome.  And Samaritans regarded Jews as heretics; their Scripture consisted only of the five first books of the Bible. So, Jews and Samaritans were enemies starting with race.  The Jewish people showed prejudice, discrimination and antagonism against Gentiles and Samaritans based on the belief that their own race was superior.

How did Jesus handle racial tension in His day?

He didn’t just confront it, he went through it.  Read the story of Jesus and Samaritan woman below, 

“…He had to pass through Samaritan territory. Jesus arrived at the Samaritan village of Sychar,[b] near the field that Jacob had given to his son, Joseph, long ago. 6–8 Wearied by his long journey, he sat on the edge of Jacob’s well.[c] He sent his disciples into the village to buy food, for it was already afternoon. Soon a Samaritan woman came to draw water. Jesus said to her, “Give me a drink of water.” - John 4:4-8

This brings us to John 4:4 (NIV) which says, “Now he had to go through Samaria.” Technically, Jesus didn’t have to go through Samaria. F.F. Bruce wrote, “Samaria lay between Judea in the south and Galilee in the north; anyone, therefore, who wished to go from Judea to Galilee ‘had to pass through Samaria’ unless he was prepared to make a detour through Transjordan.” But, due to the feelings Jews had regarding Samaritans, most Jews would have taken the long way to Galilee. But Jesus wasn’t “most Jews” and decided to take the direct route and arrived at Sychar.

This entire passage is so essential to our view of all people and our understanding of humanity for so many reasons. Jesus understood the racial tensions that existed not only with His people but with His disciples.  He could have “avoided it” or chose to “go around it.”  Even in our own lives, we understand that the painful past of racism in our country is something that we don’t like to acknowledge or recognize as Americans.  We respond to many of our black brothers and sisters by doing the same: avoiding it or going around it.  But Jesus does something that was different than what was the normal in His day: He goes into it, He goes through it.  Jesus chooses to shatter any and ALL arguments of racism, prejudice, and bigotry toward anyone. He makes them all obsolete.  The majority of Jews would have never asked a Samaritan for something. Their prejudice would have steered them the opposite way. 

None of this meant a thing to Jesus because:

“God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have eternal life” -John 3:16 ESV

“You are all children of God through faith in Christ Jesus. And all who have been united with Christ in baptism have put on Christ, like putting on new clothes. There is no longer Jew or Gentile, slave or free, male and female. For you are all one in Christ Jesus” -Galatians 3:26–28 NLT

We’re all the same before God (Romans 3:23). We are all equal at the foot of the cross. No one is better, higher, more evolved or superior over anyone else. In fact, no one is better in the eyes of God than the other, not even one (Romans 3:10 NIV). Jesus died for all of us, because we are all rare and beautiful in the eyes of God. He loves us all with an everlasting, unconditional, inextinguishable love! Jesus came for everyone—God so loved the world that He gave His only son so that everyone can have eternal life. We know that because our destiny is every ethnicity worshipping God in their own way:

“After this I looked, and there before me was a great multitude that no one could count, from every nation, eery tribe, every people, every language, standing before the throne and before the Lamb.” -Revelation 7:9

Heaven will be wonderful and colorful. Heaven doesn’t discriminate but has it’s door wide open for all who call on the Name of Jesus. Jesus knew heaven well and knows that it is for everyone. And when you live like heaven on earth, you can’t help but be inclusive. The story continues, 

Surprised, she said, “Why would a Jewish man ask a Samaritan woman for a drink of water?” 10 Jesus replied, “If you only knew who I am and the gift that God wants to give you…” - John 4:9-10

This is Jesus first attempt in the Bible declaring, “Samaritan Lives Matter.” Jesus knew that all lives matter. But at that time, yet Jesus saw how first century culture knew that Samaritans lives mattered little. That’s why Jesus had to tell the story because Jesus knew that Samaritans lives were valued less than Jewish lives. Which goes against heaven and the very heart of God. That’s what sin does. It takes all people who are created in the image of God and rearranges them into categories based on skin color, physical features, native tongues, etc. Sin devalues you, demoralizes you and destroys you.

Sin suffocates you.

This woman would have known the suffocation of being a woman, marginalized in a culture during a time when women didn’t have value or a voice.  She also would have known her own racial disparages as a Samaritan woman. Usually, the town well was outside the town walls, and the women would go to draw water in the early morning or the evening when it was cool. This woman is going at the “sixth hour” or noon, during the heat of the day. This issue of timing coupled with the fact that the woman had five husbands and is now living with a man who is not her husband means that she was a social pariah and went to the well at “off-peak times” to avoid even the scorn and ridicule of the other people of the town.  The woman knew the abuse, the pain and the brokenness of her past.  She experienced “suffocation” of rejection.  She knew what it was like not being valuable enough and experiencing her own moments of being disposable, dispensable and expendable.  These moments of lacking value, respect, purpose, dignity and racism because of who she was would have caused her to possibly even mutter, “I can’t breathe.” 

Jesus’ answer to her suffocation is “breath.” Literally.  When this woman needed acceptance, freedom and justice…Jesus gave her “ruwach.”  That word is a Hebrew word that we would recognize in English as the word “Spirit.”  Jesus’ answer to a woman who was experiencing racism and was longing to catch a breath was this: “receive My breath.” When the woman was talking about her painful past, Jesus crossed the racial divide to remind her that she is valuable, she is necessary and that she has a future…breathing. We know this because Jesus uses the word breath when speaking with her,

“God is spirit, and His worshipers must worship in the Spirit and in truth.”  John 4:24

God is “Spirit.” Or in other words, God is “breath” and you must breathe Him in.  And when you breathe in the breath of God, “ruwach”, you not only find your life and purpose but you find truth.  It’s the truth that exposes the lies of your not valuable, your race doesn’t matter and you aren’t loved or accepted.  When you worship Jesus, you can breathe again. When you worship, you breathe in the value that God has for you, for all people and for you to see not only their color but their worth.  When you worship, you breathe in perspective to love people when it’s hard and to empathize with their situation and beliefs.  When you worship you breathe in the forgiveness of Jesus to help you overcome past hurts pain and to resist getting revenge. When you worship you breathe in the compassion to love others and serve others that are different than you. When you worship, you breathe in the patience to listen and to keep learning do you can grow as a human being and as a follower of Jesus. 

This woman goes on to transform a city with the hope of Jesus. But that wasn’t the only instance when Jesus chose to speak up about racial tensions. Jesus addressed it again when he was going to bring the message to Samaria.  Racial tensions flared up between the Jews and Samaritans yet again.  The answer of the disciples who were on the receiving end of the racial tensions- they wanted to burn the city down.  They felt the only justification for their discrimination was incineration. See the exchange between the Jews and Samaritans below:

Jesus passionately determined to leave for Jerusalem and let nothing distract him from fulfilling his mission there, for the time for him to be lifted up was drawing near. So he sent messengers  ahead of him as envoys to a village of the Samaritans. But as they approached the village, they were turned away. They would not allow Jesus to enter, for he was on his way to worship in Jerusalem.

When the disciples James and John realized what was happening, they came to Jesus and said, “Lord, if you wanted to, you could command fire to fall down from heaven just like Elijah did and destroy all these wicked people.”

Jesus rebuked them sharply, saying, “Don’t you realize what comes from your hearts when you say that? For the Son of Man did not come to destroy life, but to bring life to the earth.”

So they went to another village instead.” - Luke 9:51-56

Jesus knew that setting a city ablaze wasn’t the answer.  Jesus calls the disciples to examine their hearts.  And that goes for all of us. We all need to have a self-examination of our hearts.  We need to look at what’s “coming out of us” when we are feeling the pressure.  Jesus doesn’t debate if it’s right or wrong to set fire to a city but goes back to the human condition.  When you fix your heart, you fix racism.  

Jesus is the answer to sin. And Kingdom is the answer to culture. Kingdom will always be the BETTER answer to culture. The Kingdom of God is rightousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit (Romans 14:17). Maybe a way to say it in our culture is to be right in the eyes of God, peaceful protest and bringing happiness. These are great attributes of the Kingdom and we are all about sharing these Kingdom values. And sometimes God’s Kingdom will stand against cultural norms at times. The Bible is crystal clear that prejudice is not a way to live; that bigotry is sin; and racism is pure evil.  It violates the Great Commission, it disregards the Great Commandment, it questions God’s creation, it opposes God’s plan. Jesus’ answer to racism in the first century was not to bring death and destruction against those committing the injustice, but to bring life and instruction to those receiving the injustice.  There is not one place in the Bible where Jesus lit a city on fire, resisted a Roman police officer or caused a riot because of a breakdown of race relations. Jesus engaged in conversation with Samaritans and Jews about the discrimination against one another that was in their hearts.  Jesus never attacked the Roman guards with violence (even though His disciples wanted Him to) and He never discriminated against those who were different than He was (even though His disciples were vocal about their own prejudice). Jesus chose life-giving conversation instead of angry confrontations.  Maybe we should consider that, too.

Some would argue that Jesus flipping tables in the temple would be considered a riot.  Maybe.  But it was against the religious community and the context wasn’t race-related.  He didn’t flip tables in the marketplace (grocery stores, Nike stores, Target stores, etc) but in the Temple.  Really the only time you see Jesus getting justifiably “mad” is at the religious community.  Maybe that’s appropriate in the context of church, spiritual abuse, financial exploitation, taking advantage of widows, etc.  Maybe we should be angry at how the church should have responded earlier to the injustice of racism. But to say Jesus was flipping tables in the Temple to fight against racism would not be true.  While I am all for expressing yourself with protest, let’s follow the example of Jesus who made it clear that burning down a city for those who disagree with you is absolutely not the answer, but giving life is.  And while Jesus knew that racism in the first century was wrong, just like we do today, He decided to take it to the highest level: love your neighbor.  While Jesus understood the tension in the air during this time, He chose to simplify this issue of injustice down to a simple command to “love God and love your neighbor as yourself.”  After being in the middle of this tension, He saw another moment to teach those around him the power of love. 

Jesus goes on to engage in a conversation with a rich, young ruler. He is doing his best to be an upstanding citizen.  He seems to be a model person in the community.  But bigotry and racial bias always will hide itself in clever ways.  Jesus, knowing the hearts of everyone he encountered (Matthew 12:25; 22:18), notices the prejudice in the heart of this young man.  While Jesus commends him for his actions in the community, He provokes this young man to change by addressing the one thing that will hold him back from what God has for him: his racial bias towards Samaritans.  Jesus tells a story of what it means to love your neighbor,

“Wanting to justify himself, he questioned Jesus further, saying, “What do you mean by ‘my neighbor’?”

 Jesus replied, “Listen and I will tell you. There was once a Jewish man traveling from Jerusalem to Jericho when bandits robbed him along the way. They beat him severely, stripped him naked, and left him half dead.

 “Soon, a Jewish priest walking down the same road came upon the wounded man. Seeing him from a distance, the priest crossed to the other side of the road and walked right past him, not turning to help him one bit.

“Later, a religious man, a Levite, came walking down the same road and likewise crossed to the other side to pass by the wounded man without stopping to help him.

“Finally, another man, a Samaritan, came upon the bleeding man and was moved with tender compassion for him. He stooped down and gave him first aid, pouring olive oil on his wounds, disinfecting them with wine, and bandaging them to stop the bleeding. Lifting him up, he placed him on his own donkey and brought him to an inn. Then he took him from his donkey and carried him to a room for the night.  The next morning he took his own money from his wallet and gave it to the innkeeper with these words: ‘Take care of him until I come back from my journey. If it costs more than this, I will repay you when I return.So, now, tell me, which one of the three men who saw the wounded man proved to be the true neighbor?”

The religious scholar responded, “The one who demonstrated kindness and mercy.”

Jesus said, “You must go and do the same as he.”

Jesus flips the script on this Jewish man and all the Jewish people who were listening. Jesus decides to put the Samaritan in a position of power and the Jewish man (like himself) He places in a position of pain and hurt.  This is a powerful illustration for this rich young ruler because it was Jesus attempt at “putting yourself in someone else’s shoes.”  And let’s be honest, this is the answer to so much of our misunderstanding today on the issue of race: putting yourself in their shoes. Let’s put it in today’s language: it’s the white man who was being abused and left to die on the street through injustice  and it was the black man as the Samaritan bringing help, healing and hope to the situation.  The story reversed a privileged Jewish view of racism and put the minority in the story as the hero.  It called for the Jewish man to recognize his privilege and see from the lens of those he was holding bias against. 

It’s similar to our modern day parable of The Help. In 1960s Mississippi, Southern society girl Skeeter (Emma Stone) returns from college with dreams of being a writer. She turns her small town upside down by choosing to interview the black women who have spent their lives taking care of prominent white families. Only Aibileen (Viola Davis), the housekeeper of Skeeter's best friend, will talk at first. But as the pair continue the collaboration, more women decide to come forward, and as it turns out, they have quite a lot to say.  It’s getting in the head and heart of someone who has experienced injustice to empathize and understand what it’s like to be someone in “their shoes.”  


That’s what Jesus is doing with this parable.  He’s helping this rich young ruler understand what it’s like to be on the receiving end of injustice.  But while others walked away and walked around this hurting man, the Samaritan chooses to help.  His response isn’t returning harm for harm.   Jesus makes it clear that our response to those who are different than us and who may have even hurt us is compassion.  It’s washing their wounds, it’s paying for their care, and going the distance with them.  It’s “take care of him till I come back.”  That means it wasn’t a “one-and-done” but a continued relationship of helping, healing and hope-filling until this man gets back on his feet.  I love that!  Compassion moves you to not just do something once to make your “conscience feel better” but to keep that relationship going and keep investing in your cause, to check back in and keep doing the right thing till their situation changes.  

   

It’s responding the way Jesus responded.  Plain and simple.  Drop Jesus into 2020, and HE WOULD BE A MINORITY. How would Jesus be celebrated in your community as a person of color? Hopefully the same way YOU would be celebrated. And yet Jesus knew this, and chose to still model for us the perfect way to live and love. Jesus chose to modelIn times of our own modern racial tensions, how do we continue to respond the way Jesus would want us to? 

Here are 7 Practical ways Jesus engaged in the conversation of racism:

One. Stop Going Around It and Go Through it

Talking about critical issues is hard. And while Jesus could have easily chosen to not engage by going around it, He went right into it. He chose to not have just one but multiple conversations on how we see and love people who are different than us. Choose to have the hard conversations and be quick to listen but slow to speak.

Two. See people as a creation of God

No matter who you are, you are a creation of God made in the image of God. Because when you do, you will not only see them but will celebrate their color, their ethnicity and their value in your life. Choosing to see color is choosing to see God’s handiwork and validating God’s decision to make our world full with people of color.

Three. Give others the gift of your lens

Put yourself in other people’s shoes. That’s the beauty of the “Good Samaritan” parable. Jesus chose to put the Jewish person in the lens of someone who was traditionally, beat down, robbed and stripped of resources, rights and privileges. Jesus was showing them what it was like and what the response should be as a “good neighbor” which was to care, love, serve and give instead of walking by and ignoring what was really happening. Listening and gaining perspective will not only make you richer for listening but will validate those who need to be heard and to have their stories made known so change can happen. Make it a point to ask, “what’s it like to be you?” You will be surprised by what you hear and more enlightened to love bigger and better.

Four. Empathize more and sympathize less.

Sympathy is emotional but empathy is a powerful.  Empathy is stronger than sympathy. Sympathy is a shared feeling, usually of sorrow, pity or compassion for another person. But empathy is the ability to put yourself in the place of another and understand someone else's feelings by identifying with them. It’s the difference between feeling bad about what’s happening versus Showing up to protest peacefully is one way to empathize. Engaging in meaningful conversations with people who are different than you. While sympathizing is a good starting point, empathizing is a good serving point as you get into the lives of the hurting people around you and give your life to making our world a better place for all people.

Five. Stop DEFENDING WHO YOU’RE NOT and start DOING WHO YOU ARE

It’s very easy to say what you’re not. It’s easy to say, ‘I’m not a racist.’ Good. But are you empathetic? Are you compassionate? Are you working towards reconciliation? Are you considering ways to work for justice?”  Guilt is not a strategy but goodness is a great place to start. Actions will always speak louder than words. Stop feeling bad and start choosing good.

Six. Commit to the Long Journey of Justice 

One of my friends, Clynt Reddy, has a wonderful and unique perspective being a person of color and living in the heart of Minneapolis during this time. He says it best, 

“May we live in ways where the color of our skin matters, but not in ways that drive wedges and perpetuate systems of injustice and prejudice that linger to this day from the global sins of slavery, colonial occupation, and ethnic genocide.May we celebrate the cause of the unheard. May we be the church and the people that work to bring that future now. It’s not an easy road ahead, and it’s not a short road ahead. There are years ahead of us to rebuild—to rebuild trust, our city, and our relationships, and I’m putting my stake in the ground right now to say I’m in to build that future.” - Clynt Ready

SEVEN. Get a more colorful circle.

We can choose to live convenient lives in our comfortable relationship circles. But stop and take a look around at who is in your relationship sphere of influence? Who are you connecting with that is different than you? If you are lacking diversity, choose today to make a change. Find friends who are different than you because their perspective will change you. The more colorful your friendships the better! God puts people into our lives to help make us better. Find someone who is different than you politically, racially, spiritually, etc and watch your compassion increase for those that represent that group of people in your circle.

I have done my best to build that future.  My wife and I chose our first ministry job to be a part of a church that was half black in the deep south.  We were surrounded by people of color every Sunday worshipping, giving, loving and serving along side of us.  Since I grew up in a small town in the middle of Minnesota, choosing to move to the other end of the country and “do life” with people who were extremely different than me was a beautiful time and showed me that the church should be one of the most diverse places on the planet.  We did our best to build a student ministry where all people, black, white and brown can come together to express their love of God and their commitment to each other.  

We also lived on the east coast in the beautiful city of Washington DC.  Our place where we lived on H Street was wonderfully diverse. Our whole family was plunged into the colorful community in Northeast where we lived with my daughter experiencing first-hand what it’s like to be a minority in her class. Even the sounds of Enon Baptist Church (our church that was around the corner on our block) and the all-black choir singing into the night as my kids fell asleep are memories that helped shape us to understand the people of color in my community and how we lived and celebrated each other and our differences. 

While I will never understand what my friends in the black community have experienced over the years, I am continuing to live al life of listening, learning and loving. God used these experiences to show me compassion and empathy for my black brothers and sisters and God continues to show me how I can do better.  How we ALL can do better. 

God gives us a “better way” to navigate all of the relationships in our lives.  And I am leaving us all with this Scripture from Romans 12: 14-21 as a proclamation on how we can all live better and do better: 

14 Speak blessing, not cursing, over those who reject and persecute you.

15 Celebrate with those who celebrate, and weep with those who grieve. 16 Live happily together in a spirit of harmony, and be as mindful of another’s worth as you are your own. Don’t live with a lofty mind-set, thinking you are too important to serve others, but be willing to do menial tasks and identify with those who are humble minded.[f] Don’t be smug or even think for a moment that you know it all.

17 Never hold a grudge or try to get even, but plan your life around the noblest way to benefit others. 18 Do your best to live as everybody’s friend.[g]

19 Beloved, don’t be obsessed with taking revenge, but leave that to God’s righteous justice.[h] For the Scriptures say:

“If you don’t take justice in your own hands,

    I will release justice for you,” says the Lord.[i]

20 And:

If your enemy is hungry, buy him lunch!

    Win him over with kindness.[j]

For your surprising generosity will awaken his conscience,

    and God will reward you with favor.[k]

21 Never let evil defeat you, but defeat evil with good.” -Romans 12:14-21

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To Open Or Not To Open: The Tension To Worship At Home Or Church

Photo by Michael Amadeus on Unsplash

It’s complicated. That’s what love is. It compels us to do things that we never would do before. I found myself proposing to my wife in the middle of a blizzard in November.  The conditions didn’t stop me from bearing through sleet and snow to get Heidi and I to the venue where we I got on one knee and proposed and to meet with family and friends for an after-party engagement celebration. Some might see that as putting Heidi and I’s life in danger and others would see it as “you go, guy!”  

It was love that compelled Jesus to lay down his old life so that we could experience redemption and forgiveness at the cross (John 3:16). As a matter fact the greatest commandment is to love God and to love your neighbor as yourself.  Love never ends because God never ends.  It continues to go on and on like an unstoppable and uncontainable force.  Love is so potent that God encapsulates all 783,137 words in Scripture into 7 words: “Love God and love others as yourself.” So when the love for God and love for your neighbor rises up, it will move you to do things you normally wouldn’t do, defy rationale and throw caution to the wind. 

Jesus loved beyond reason and rationale.  He loved outcasts by healing them, He loved His persecutors by forgiving them, He loved the religious by teaching them, He loved the politicians by honoring them and He loved the unlovable by saving them.  Jesus seemed to defy boundaries because he “saw what the father was doing” (John 5:19).  And that love was contagious. Once caught, Paul crossed religious boundaries by reaching the Gentiles.  Peter and John crossed civic boundaries by preaching Jesus acts 4.  The disciples, like Thomas, crossed cultural boundaries and became a missionary to India and being martyred for his faith.  

Love moves you.

As a church, loved has moved us. Despite quarantine lockdowns, we have moved into action by creating an online expression to bring our weekend experiences right into our living rooms.  We have rallied and delivered hundreds of pounds of food into our local food shelves at my church to help provide for those who are struggling during this time. We have mobilized many to deliver "boxes of hope” and bring necessities directly into the homes of many who are without. We have mobilized into prayer groups to pray for our government officials, our civic leaders in many who are in positions of power and making decisions. We have improvised discipleship in community through Zoom, Google, FaceTime, etc. to be able to connect and study the Bible together.  We have loved by honoring our government leadership and supported those in power who are leading us and caring for us.  We have sent out care baskets to health care workers in our community to show the love and support that they deserve. These are actions we have taken during this time because we cannot not do something. 

While love has moved us to be unified and acting in solidarity, a recent move has caused some tension.  

Love has moved us to open up the church.

Acting out of love has always been the mission since the beginning of Christianity to the beginning of this pandemic. While there will always be Christians and churches that act out of spiritual arrogance and foolishness instead of wisdom, most are trying to act out of the best interest of the greater whole. Even during the beginning of Covid, some churches and pastors in the beginning, whether well-intentioned or not, added to the panic by doing more harm than good. They refused to close, dishonoring the government, resisting local authorities, etc.  It’s hard to see the love in that.  It’s easy to see the pride in that. But most churches seem to have acted honorably with their state and local guidelines. While those actions are noteworthy, the recent decision made by the church to open has caused some tension and is being met with criticism and the result is a divided congregation.

In our MN context with our churches (which is where I’m sharing from), we have been asked to open with a 25% capacity while following all the CDC guidelines.  My church is honoring the guidelines and is practicing all of the regulations  with the best of our ability.  Not only that, the church has recently been deemed an essential service by the President.  While many view this as an exciting win for the church, it has unfortunately proved divisive. Instead of provoking the church to positive action, it has reacted and divided into two factions:  those that don’t agree with the opening and feel it is unsafe and those who agree with it and are ready to reopen.  Each side is very much still part of the body of Christ and loved. They are not wrong for feeling the way they do. Their motive are pure and their hearts are right.  Each side of the argument feels a moral obligation to do the right thing. But that still doesn’t mean there’s not a tension that we have to face as we are living from our own political, social and religious contexts.

Generally speaking, on one side of the spectrum, there are those who have obeyed the orders and have followed the rules. And while they have  prioritized honoring and surrendering to the government and officials up to this point. But their conscience and convictions are speaking (and thankfully along with our own Governor) that it’s time to open up the church. Their own cognitive understanding  of the facts and figures confirm and affirm that what we did worked.  The moral imperative that they feel to get back to work, get back to school and  also to get back to church again, justifies the greater good Of personal choice to attend church and be physically present in their church community enjoying corporate faith. Loving God and loving your neighbor can be confidently and authentically expressed while opening up the church (while  following the CDC guidelines, etc). They have assessed the risk and understand that not only is Target, Home Depot, etc essential but so is the church-and so is faith, worship, prayer, and teaching all being done in the presence of each other.  Loving God and loving others means getting the church doors open again so people can Worship and pray together again. 

Generally speaking on the other side, there are those who adhere to what the experts and government officials are asking per the data and their interpretation of the current facts. When the government says to stay in another month, there is some cognitive security and moral certainty  that confirms and affirms that that is the right thing and the smart thing to do. To love and God and others is best expressed through submitting to the doctors, the government and staying in isolation.  This side of the spectrum believes that the others should follow the guidelines in place and if others don’t, they are not only in a civic violation but an ethical violation that could ultimately harm them and others in their community.     

Talk to anyone in these two generalized factions, and you will get passion, research, emotion and strong feelings about their position.  Both of these sides in the church are equally Christian with the moral determination and the ethical motivation of love. Love for Jesus is present on both sides of this spectrum and Jesus chooses to love and live inbetween both.

Jesus had Simon the zealot and He had Matthew the tax collector in the His worship community. Simon the Zealot was one of the disciples who was on the end of the disciples who was resistant to the governments rules, restrictions and regulations. The Romans at the time of Jesus life were restricting and enforcing government law and regulation that felt not only discriminatory but but fueled social and political tensions. Simon and his group of zealots chose to  resist the governments orders in exchange for freedom and autonomy.  

On the other side of the discipleship community was Matthew the tax collector. He was a God-believing Government employee who surrendered to the rules and regulations of what the Romans were enforcing daily. He worked in partnership with Rome and on behalf of Caesar, he chose to comply with the Roman government’s orders…even when it was difficult. He understood the benefit of serving under the Roman rule for the greater good of everyone. 

Both of these men served Jesus and had to get along as a body of believers. Jesus loved them both and lived between both of them. He loved and believed in the compliant Matthew and loved and believed in the resistant Simon. Jesus knew that both of those men were necessary to complete His discipleship community. Both of those disciples represent the personality, politics and the passions of those who love their personal choice and religious freedom as well as those who serve, honor and live out their civic duty.  We will always be surrounded by these two sides: Those who “share my faith but don’t agree with my politics” and those who “share my political view but don’t agree with my faith.”  Jesus new best what it was like to live under the authoritative role of the government in a politicized Rome while living under the authority of God.  And He did it perfectly…you can too! 

The tension of Government and Church is nothing new to our culture.  Especially in times like this.  And this creates the tension many are feeling during these times: Do I obey God or do I obey the government?  Thankfully we have a Governor who has given us 25% capacity to open and my church is following that. But it goes even beyond church for many of us. We have a civic duty to be an outstanding citizen and yet we simultaneously have a spiritual duty to be a heavenly citizen. 

Peter knew the tension well.  Living under Roman rule and jurisdiction as a Jew, Peter had his fair share of wanting to resist for the sake of his own personal beliefs.  Even when Jesus was being restrained, Peter chose to resist law enforcement by pulling out his sword and cutting off an officer’s ear.  Peter wanted to stand up to the government order but instead choose to stand down and comply,

“Then Simon Peter, who had a sword, drew it and struck the high priest’s servant, cutting off his right ear. (The servant’s name was Malchus.) Jesus commanded Peter, 'Put your sword away!’” John 18:10-11

Peter faces the difficulty of finding the right time and the right reason to act. Here, Peter resisted at the wrong time.  He felt it was an injustice as to what was happening, so he reacted intstead of acted. Reacting can usually be traced back to its source: our flesh. But under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, we act and move according to God’s will and his timing. Peter, under the inspiration of the power of the Holy Spirit acted under the influence of God rather than his emotions. In Acts 4,   when the Government put a rule in place for Peter and John to not preach about Jesus, he resisted the government for the sake of the move of God in the moment. We can see not just Peter’s response but the government’s as well below: 

“But in order that it may spread no further among the people, let us warn them to speak no more to anyone in this name.” So they called them and charged them not to speak or teach at all in the name of Jesus. But Peter and John answered them, “Whether it is right in the sight of God to listen to you rather than to God, you must judge, for we cannot but speak of what we have seen and heard.” And when they had further threatened them, they let them go, finding no way to punish them, because of the people, for all were praising God for what had happened.” - Acts 4:17-21

You will experience moments in your faith where you will experience an “enough is enough” and you may find yourself drawing your sword (metaphorically speaking I hope!).  Many are feeling that with the current Covid situation now.  The question for us will always be when is the time to stand up or stand down.  Peter followed Jesus advice of standing down when facing the Romans in the Garden.  But He also followed the advice of the Spirit and stood up leading thousands into salvation in one day (Acts 4:4). Honoring God and honoring those in charge will always be a challenge and requires a spiritual finesse.  How you handle yourself in moments of “lockdown” and forced surrender will determine how God can use you.  God trusted Peter because he had a practice of honoring authority on a regular basis.  Peter knew the power of honoring those in charge as a follower of Jesus and practiced it well. It was such a strong believe to him that he wrote about it in one of his letters: 

Submit yourselves for the Lord’s sake to every human authority: whether to the emperor, as the supreme authority, or to governors, who are sent by him to punish those who do wrong and to commend those who do right. For it is God’s will that by doing good you should silence the ignorant talk of foolish people. Live as free people, but do not use your freedom as a cover-up for evil; live as God’s slaves.  Show proper respect to everyone, love the family of believers, fear God, honor the emperor.”

-1 Peter 2:13-17

Peter lived a life as a businessman in a Roman community, a Jewish citizen, a Christian and a martyr.  He honored the Government, his religious beliefs, his faith and Jesus.  He lived a life of standing down and standing up throughout his life. Not only that, he was killed for his faith for spreading the Gospel when the government didn’t agree.  Being compliant towards the Government and being adamant with Jesus were both part of Peter’s journey. It wasn’t either/or but both.

Scripture gives a nuanced picture of government. And it presents Christians with a challenge to keep governments in their proper role. Jesus  understood that as He was under the authority of God (Matthew 26:53) while handling the pressure by refusing to condemn Roman taxation. Even Paul refer’s to the government as a legitimate authority in the lives of Christians, 

Let everyone be subject to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God. Consequently, whoever rebels against the authority is rebelling against what God has instituted, and those who do so will bring judgment on themselves. For rulers hold no terror for those who do right, but for those who do wrong. Do you want to be free from fear of the one in authority? Then do what is right and you will be commended. For the one in authority is God’s servant for your good. But if you do wrong, be afraid, for rulers do not bear the sword for no reason. They are God’s servants, agents of wrath to bring punishment on the wrongdoer. Therefore, it is necessary to submit to the authorities, not only because of possible punishment but also as a matter of conscience. This is also why you pay taxes, for the authorities are God’s servants, who give their full time to governing. Give to everyone what you owe them: If you owe taxes, pay taxes; if revenue, then revenue; if respect, then respect; if honor, then honor.” Romans 13:1-7

Yet Christians, above all people, should recognize the government is not infallible, as it is made up of fallible humans and has made significant mistakes in the past (it ultimately was the Government that put Jesus to death by Roman crucifixion revealing both the political and religious leadership got it wrong). Even early Christians violated Roman law when they declared Jesus, and not Caesar, Lord and Savior. This was in violation of the government ordinance of the day. But the government rulers knew that worship was essential for Christians and it’s essential for us today. We have to recognize that there will be times when we follow orders as good citizens and that there will be times when God is doing something bigger and we have to follow God above all else.  There will be times when we feel the need to just stay at home and there will be times that we feel we need to go out and love. There will be those that will go to church and worship and there will be those that will feel compelled to stay and to remain safe at home.   Your not wrong for staying home and your not wrong for going.  Follow the leading of God for you and your family.  But don’t think less of those that do go to church this Sunday. And don’t think less of those that desire to stay home.  We are one body and we follow God the best that we know how. 

Because when Love compels you to action… not everyone will always agree. Jesus grew up knowing the quarantine rules of lepers. He followed those rules. But then an instance came in Jesus’ ministry when He broke those rules and broke the social norms and chose to engage others by breaking quarantine rules and entering a leper colony. Self-isolation is nothing new. Jesus and all the religious leaders of the day, knew the practice of self-isolation when it came to this contagious disease.  It began during the Israelites trip out of Egypt to the Promised Land, where Moses was our first public health official. In Leviticus, Moses tells us what to do with those with a leprous affection:

“[H]is clothes shall be rent, his head shall be left bare, and he shall cover over his upper lip; and he shall call out, ‘Unclean! Unclean!’” Leviticus 13:45 

The point is for over 30 years Jesus chose to abide by those rules and to honor the quarantine of the lepers and to separate himself from them. But there came Divine moments in His ministry when He chose to enter into unclean and contaminated areas, to defy the community quarantine orders and love a community that needed it most,

Now on his way to Jerusalem, Jesus traveled along the border between Samaria and Galilee. 12 As he was going into a village, ten men who had leprosy[a] met him. They stood at a distance 13 and called out in a loud voice, “Jesus, Master, have pity on us!”

14 When he saw them, he said, “Go, show yourselves to the priests.” And as they went, they were cleansed.

15 One of them, when he saw he was healed, came back, praising God in a loud voice. 16 He threw himself at Jesus’ feet and thanked him—and he was a Samaritan.

17 Jesus asked, “Were not all ten cleansed? Where are the other nine? 18 Has no one returned to give praise to God except this foreigner?” 19 Then he said to him, “Rise and go; your faith has made you well.”  Luke 17:11-19

Those lepers were healed and the result was the worship of Jesus.  Did it make moral or logical sense at the time to others watching… No. But Jesus knew that there’s times when quarantines must be broken in order to for the greater good of healing the broken.   He knew the cost and he knew the push-back the community would give him.   This is part of the tension we are facing right now. We understand when Christians follow government and medical advice to drastically reduce all social contacts, this is not an expression of unbelief but an expression of wisdom.  The equation is simple: The flatter the rate of viral infection progresses, the smaller the number of vulnerable people who will die. Wherever we can contribute to that outcome, we should!   But there  are also times when Jesus calls us to go, just like He did. He was ridiculed for it. People didn’t understand it. But Jesus knew what the people needed and what God wanted.

Wisdom and love will lead us to participate in containing the current epidemic as far as possible,  but just like Jesus was felt compelled to go, there are times in history where the love of Christ compeled the church to shine in dark times of infectious disease. In fact, Christians overcame the impulse to flee to safety and isolate themselves from the suffering of others by leaving their homes and loving others:

“In 165 a plague swept through the mighty Roman Empire, wiping out one in three of the population. It happened again in 251 when 5,000 people per day were dying in the city of Rome alone. Those infected were abandoned by their families to die in the streets. The government was helpless and the Emperor himself succumbed to the plague. Pagan priests fled their temples where people had flocked for comfort and explanation. People were too weak to help themselves. If the smallpox did not kill you, hunger, thirst and loneliness would. The effect on wider society was catastrophic. Yet following the plagues the good reputation of Christianity was confirmed, and its population grew exponentially. Why is this? Christians did not come armed with intellectual answers to the problem of evil. They did not enjoy a supernatural ability to avoid pain and suffering. What they did have was water and food and their presence. In short, if you knew a Christian you were statistically more likely to survive, and if you survived it was the church that offered you the most loving, stable and social environment. It was not clever apologetics, strategic political organisation or the witness of martyrdom which converted an Empire, so much as it was the simple conviction of normal women and men that what they did for the least of their neighbours they did for Christ.”[Stephen Backhouse quoted in Simon Ponsonby’s Loving Mercy: How to Serve a Tender-Hearted Saviour (Oxford: Monarch Books, 2012), 155.]

Ravi Zacharias has said it beautifully, “Love is the greatest apologetic. It is the essential component in reaching the whole person in a fragmented world. The need is vast, but it is also imperative that we be willing to follow the example of Jesus and meet the need.” Love will look different to you compared to me. To some of us reading this post, it will be to stay home. To others, it will look like going to church. Regardless of where you find yourself this Sunday, remember what love looks like,

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.” 1 Corinthians 13 

Maybe we need to take a lesson from Wesley Autrey. Autrey is the man who became celebrated in 2007 as the “Subway Samaritan” after he was standing on a New York subway platform and a man next to him had a seizure and fell onto the tracks. Autrey dove onto the tracks. He thought he would be able to take the man off the tracks, but Autrey realized there was not enough time to drag Hollopeter away. Instead, he protected the man by throwing himself over Hollopeter's body in a drainage trench between the tracks, where he held him down. Though the operator of the train applied the brakes, all but two cars still passed over them, close enough to leave grease on his cap. When asked about his decision, he replied,

“I did what I thought was right,”

is how Autrey put it back in 2007. When the coronavirus epidemic at last passes into history, it will be to the credit of both sides of the spectrum in our churches today if we can echo those words while living it out in love.

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How To Discover The Real You

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We all love a good origin story.  Typically, the characters in these stories don’t think they are much or have much but they do know this: they are made for more.  When we read the stories of these hero’s we seem to forget this one thing: 



They didn’t know they were heroes at the time.



Wouldn’t it be great to see into the future of what we could become?  What is your origin story?  We all have one.  You just have to go back to the beginning.  To your origin.   Originalty comes from the word origin. Imbedded in the word original, is the word “origin.”    Your origin story is unique just like your personal originality you show the world has purpose.



Each facet, feature and divet from your life is an imprint that you were made to be durable, exceptional, remarkable.



Your beginning isn’t from your first memory of when you were riding bike without training wheels or finding flowers in the front yard that are picked specifically for mom.  You have to keep going back.  You have to go back to the very beginning.   Your origin story starts back with Adam and Eve.  They were original masterpieces from the Creator, Himself.  Each with their own forms, features, fingerprints and functions.   They were originals.  And no one has been the same since.  And neither are you. God doesn’t make us from His “spiritual assembly line” attaching our features and personalities together like toys, cars or appliances. Each of us hand-sculpted by God himself made with our unique features, different personalities and exclusive perspectives. Each of us made originals and celebrated as unique.



David in the Bible was original.  But those around him tried to replicate him.  They were forcing him into a soldier like everyone else. Make him into Saul by wearing his armor.  He couldn’t do it.  He knew the only way to win the battle was to be himself.  While everyone else mimicked the training as soldiers, David knew that No one in Israel’s history would take down an entire army with a slingshot.  No average person could do that.  But God doesn’t take average, ordinary and common.  He makes unusual, extraordinary and uncommon men and women.  Maybe your feeling of “being out-of-place”, the questioning of  “do I belong here” and the disconnected thoughts of  “no one understands me” is really the evidence of your unique call and destiny on your life to resist the armor.  God gives us slingshots when the world is forcing it’s armor upon us that doesn’t fit to show us we are on the right path to becoming Kings and Queens of our own destinies.  Be Yourself.  




My father-in-law is a geologist.  He studied rocks for a living.  My father is a brick layer.  He was in the construction business building homes, shopping centers, etc.  While rocks and bricks are similar in texture and suitable in purpose, God makes it clear in 1 Peter 2:5,




“You are living stones…”




God did not make a living bricks he made living stones.   Bricks are mixed, cut and trimmed.  But stones are unique because stones are formed by the environment. Stones are forged by the elements that come against them.  Depending on the circumstances, each stone has a unique story to tell as to why it’s smoother, rougher, larger or smaller than the rest. So do you. Your story, your experiences, your past and your present and collectively make up your unique expression to the world.  Each facet, feature and divet from your life is an imprint that you were made to be durable, exceptional, remarkable.  Your individuality is critical to kingdom.  That doesn't mean there aren’t convictions and standards that we ALL follow because we also believe in unity.  We follow morality.  We align with sprituality.  We combine to form community.  We unify together under Christianity.  But in the midst of all of this, we were always meant to be ourselves.   Oscar Wilde said it best,



“Be yourself ….everybody else is already taken”. – Oscar Wilde




While living in DC I had the privilege of seeing many originals by many artists:  Leonardo da Vinci, Rembrandt van Rijn, Vincent Van Gogh, Claude Monet, Picasso, etc.  What made these moments significant to all of us in attendance is they are "originals."  They were authentic, genuine creations by these famous creators that were collected and on display for us to admire.  A few doors down there was also a giant, well-lit room with large crowds in it with wall to wall creations on display.  I love Claude Monet...and here there were many for me to look at and admire.    The only difference is that these were not real like the priceless paintings in Monet exhibit but replica’s.  These copies were souvenirs to collect to hang on dorm room walls, apartments and as inspiration for aspiring future artists.  Being an original makes you valuable.  Copies are cheap for a reason.



You can be a masterpiece or you can be mass-produced.  That’s why there is nothing more special to God than for you to be the you because that is what God is waiting for and what the world is looking for.  Original comes from the Latin word meaning, “the first in time.”  Or in other words, you are “one of a kind.”  No one will ever be like you.  Your DNA is unique.  Your fingerprints only belong to you and no one else.  Your heartbeat is a genuine “soundprint” that has is unique only to you.  You were made to be different; to stand apart; to be a genuine expression of the creative mind and heart of God.  In a world that seems to celebrate conformity, God desires you to resist against it.  You were always meant to be yourself!  Don’t be conformed to this world but be transformed to be a unique translation of God’s heart and voice in the world.  



You can be a masterpiece or you can be mass-produced.



While that sounds noble and powerful, being an original isn’t as easy as we think. It’s hard to find the real you. How do you discover the real you?



How To Discover The Real You:

Re-trace your Beginning

Where you came from matters. Because it produced who you are today. The choices you made the path you followed, the good decisions and the bad decisions all collectively add up to your life. Every choice has etched itself into your life to make an impression and lead you to a destination. Take a look back in your own personal history book and make a note of the highlights of your life. Retrace back to the low times and the struggles. How did you overcome. Even David understood the power of retracing your steps “then” to give you significance “now” with this Scripture:

“Your servant has killed both the lion and the bear; this uncircumcised Philistine will be like one of them, because he has defied the armies of the living God.” -1 Samuel 17:36

Spot the Areas In your life where you are being fake

Being fake to others will only slow you down. To navigate life successfully you need to be authentic – to be able to counter external influences pulling you to be someone you’re not. Whether it’s intentional or not, we know when we aren’t being ourselves. In a typical day, most of us will have at least some time when we can be truly ourselves, but their are also parts of the day when we are putting on a performance. We put on a facade that everything is going well. We feel pressure to present ourselves positively to others. While we can’t always “express how we always feel all of the time” we should be able to find places, spaces and faces to be ourselves with, in and in front of. And the best place to be the most honest with is with God:

“You have searched me, Lord, and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways.” - Psalm 139:1-3

Celebrate the Unique Traits that make you, you

First, find out what your strengths are. Go online and takea Briggs Meyers test, an Enneagram test, or buy the Gallup StrengthsFinder 2.0 book. There are even more robust ways to discover your unique talents, abilities, and ways of thinking by talking with a mentor, coach, etc. Self-understanding and self awareness is key. Knowing yourself well leads to leading yourself well. The more you embrace and love the parts of you that make you unique, the more you will see that people actually like you for “that specific reason.” We are often our worst critics. The parts of us that we deem as the most expressive and intrusive and are the parts that people really see as really the most impressive. God says it best,

“You made me; you created me. Now give me the sense to follow your commands. May all who fear you find in me a cause for joy, for I have put my hope in your word.” - Psalm 119:73-74 


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Why God Wants You To Be Different Than The Rest

 

I love spending quality dinners with my family.  So many deep spiritual discussions have happened there over the years like, “ ‘Why does God make spiders?’, ‘Can we fly in heaven like Superman?’ and ‘How big are the parks and the slides in heaven? ”  While the kids have grown up over the years so have our discussions.  One discussion recently that we had was what is one thing about God that you appreciate.  While I was waiting for the answer that I would have assumed my adorable “mini-me’s” would have said like, “His forgiveness of us” or “His love for us”, my daughter made a comment that make me stop and think as well as made me proud.  She said, “I love that God makes us all unique.”  Our discussion evolved into a discussion about how God makes the claim that there is “no one like Him” and he also made us in the image of Himself with each of us making the same claim, “there is no one like me.”  

 

God made us impressive so we can make impressions.

 

There is no one else like you.  In the whole world of the billions and billions of people no one has the same dna as you.  No one has fingerprints like you.  No one has a retina like you.  The very back of the eye, the retina, is a precise snapshot of your nervous system, unique to you. It displays a pattern of blood vessels that your eye doctor observes to even detect health concerns that you might have or could have.  No one has teeth like you.  Your teeth reveal your DNA which is why dental records are often used to identify bodies.  Like a fingerprint, the tongue has its own shape and texture, and the tiny bumps and ridges on your tongue are distributed in a way that is uniquely yours. Your voice is unlike any one else’s. Some vocal characteristics are easy to detect, such as your frequency (high or low) and your intensity (loud or soft). Even other traits such as resonance, nasality, the length of your neck combined with the width of the pharynx, how you shape your lips, vowel pronunciation, etc. all play a unique part is giving you your own sound like no one else.  Even “face ID” on my iphone keeps my phone from getting hacked and reminds me that my “mug” has got power to open up things nothing else can!  From the beginning, God made you more unique that you realize.  That should inspire you to discover who we are and who we are meant to be so that we can do what no one else can do.  God made us impressive so we can make impressions.

 

We can leave an impression or become a replication.

 

That’s why I like Minnesota in the winter.  I don’t know how else to say this but Minnesota snowfalls are magical.  Like Narnia meets Hoth but without psycho snow queens or rampaging wampa’s (you’re welcome Star Wars nerds).  Waking up the next day after a night of being wrapped in a white blanket of fresh powder is one of the joys of living in MN.  And just like gripping bubble wrap and finding the satisfaction of popping those small little pillows of air, I find the same satisfaction in walking into that white winter wonderland and making my impression known to the world.  Each step an imprint that “I was here first.”  Each gaping impression is a path that I made myself that said, “I was here first.”  One of the most original authors of his time made this quote famous in regards to leaving your mark on the world, 

 

Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

 

We can leave an impression or become a replication.  You can differentiate or duplicate.   You can create or become a copy.   No one loves fake.  To be called a “phony” is not a compliment.  Even the word “bogus” sounds like an unwanted and sticky unknown "something" that should be flushed down the toilet.  But we love the words authenticity, humility and transparency.  While these words are important and critical for building community and sustainability in relationships, I would argue that originality is the most important word to cultivate and grow in your relationships and in your community.  

 

Originality is a word that speaks this simple message:  be yourself.  With this simple message comes the question:  Is this a safe place for me to be myself?  I think this is a question we all ask ourselves.   Doesn’t mean it’s the right question to ask every time.  But nonetheless it’s a question that we have to ask ourselves if we are to be originals.  

 

You can be an original or you can be stereotypical.

 

Originality is defined as meaning,  “new; fresh; inventive; creative or presented for the first time.”  That means when you are original you are aligning with Gods original plan for you.  That there was never meant to be anyone like you:  who talks like you, looks like you, sounds like you or acts like you.   That’s why Paul said in the Scriptures who was writing on God’s behalf, 

 

“Each of us is an original.” – Galatians 5:26

 

You can be an original or you can be stereotypical. But you have a single obligation to be original.  My mentor-at-a-distance and friend Mark Batterson says, “You owe it to yourself to be yourself.”  He’s right.  You are a unique voice, collection of gifts and talents that make up an eclectic combination that is not just special but necessary in God’s Kingdom.   That’s what was God’s plan from the beginning.  

 

How to be embrace your own originality?


 

Resist the urge to duplicate but differentiate

When you choose to be different, you are choosing to resist the crowd and be your self.  Don’t just be yourself but express yourself.  How you dress, sing, bake, laugh, work and play will always be unique to you.  Once you discover something about you that’s different than your friends, celebrate it! 

You can become a copy or you can let God create

Follow God’s example.  Every human since the beginning is marked with uniqueness.  From before you were born, to your gifts and talents, to your own DNA, there is no one like you. God doesn’t make copies.  Copies are made from interns and assistants.   Originals are made from He makes artists and composers.  Let your colors show and your let your sound be heard…because it’s what the world needs! 

Don’t become a replication but leave an impression  

Replication is great when you are learning how to chop a tree dowqn or make lasagna.  But there is something about finding your own voice and adding your “own flavor” in situations in life.  Making an impression means you might “add a little extra garlic” or “swing a little differently” than your old man.  

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How God Is Turning Your Isolation Into Your Own Spiritual Innovation

If you’re like me, and most of the world right now, you are spending another day in “lockdown.” For me that means another day of being a homeschool dad as I homeschool my kids (words I never thought I would say), figuring out what the menu is going to look like for not just me (a shake sometime around 1pm and a dinner at 6 was my usual) but three actual meals are my new normal with a full house (I have never cooked this much in my life), trying to make a face mask with rubber bands and a napkin and trying to ration my “triple ply” by separating them into “single-ply” because panic is in the air.



Life in quarantine can have us feeling like Tom Hanks on Castaway: trapped, cut off from the rest of the world with a volleyball called Wilson with you and I resorting to confiding in our last roll of toilet paper named, “Charmin.” But the reality is you are more free than you think. You are more alive than you realize. Just because you are supposed to stay behind the four walls of your home doesn’t mean your significance in God is supposed to be.



One of the most comforting verses written in the Bible is found in the book of Philippians which reads this way,



6 Don’t be pulled in different directions or worried about a thing. Be saturated in prayer throughout each day, offering your faith-filled requests before God with overflowing gratitude. Tell him every detail of your life, then God’s wonderful peace that transcends human understanding, will make the answers known to you through Jesus Christ.  So keep your thoughts continually fixed on all that is authentic and real, honorable and admirable, beautiful and respectful, pure and holy, merciful and kind. And fasten your thoughts on every glorious work of God,[i] praising him always.” Philippians 4:6-8



One of the shortest verses yet most well-known verses in the Bible is found from the same book in Chapter 1 which is simply,



“to live is christ and to die is gain.” Philippians 1:21



While these verses are familiar and bring comfort during this time, their context has a greater meaning than you would think. They were written while Paul was in prison in Rome. Paul was imprisoned a lot, actually. His New Testament letters are said to have been written from prison which were: Ephesians, Philippians, Colossians, 2 Timothy, and Philemon. All of these are attributed to Paul; they are sometimes called the “captivity letters” because being in jail became a new normal for him. I get the pressure of my new normal. I feel the intensity of my own version of captivity. But while Paul was imprisoned, he wrote those words to the Philippians to encourage the church and all who would read it. His words are meant to inspire the church while Paul was in “lockdown.” Confined behind his own four walls, Paul realized that what God had called him to could not be contained, locked down or chained up. His praise, his prayers and his purpose would not be confined and restrained but would be free for God to move in him and through him…despite his current restrictions.



Being in a Roman prison was not easy. But God actually used Paul’s imprisonment to help advance the Good News of Jesus and build the church. His life in the present and in the future was defined by the life and love of Jesus. And your “imprisonment” doesn’t mean God can’t use you. We are all feeling the “stir craziness” of what it means to be “stuck inside.” But what if you saw this as an opportunity for God to use you to reveal the life of Jesus to others just like Paul did?



Here’s what I know and what you need to know: God can’t be confined which means neither can you! While we follow the guidelines of the professionals and the lawmakers, we can accomplish a lot for the Kingdom of God right from our own living rooms, bedrooms and even bathrooms (sorry, too much information - but to say I haven’t read the Bible and prayed from my bathroom when that is the only place to find sanity sometimes wouldn’t be true - I find it to be a nice retreat throughout the day). Your praise, your prayers and your purpose isn’t imprisoned. As a matter of fact, it’s free to bless, bring and build the Kingdom of God just like Paul did.

God can’t be quarantined and neither can you. As you are living through your own personal “lockdown,” here are 3 important reminders to keep you inspired:

One: Your Praise Can’t Be Quarantined: Let God turn your “prison sentence” into a “praise session”

I love the book of Philippians. It’s one of the first places that we see Paul face imprisonment and how he responds is one of the lessons we can learn while we are facing our own time of being under “lock and key.” Paul and Silas were on their second missionary journey and when they came to Philippi.  Paul and Silas shut down a demonic fortune-teller which provided a lot of money for the city and the result of their mission to share the good news of “King Jesus” was met with strong opposition. Paul and Silas found themselves beaten for their ministry and message resulting in a prison sentence. See below:



“22 The crowd joined in the attack against Paul and Silas, and the magistrates ordered them to be stripped and beaten with rods. 23 After they had been severely flogged, they were thrown into prison, and the jailer was commanded to guard them carefully. 24 When he received these orders, he put them in the inner cell and fastened their feet in the stocks.” Acts 16: 22-24



As mentioned earlier, a Roman prison is not picnic. Prison conditions in ancient prisons were often harsh. Most prisoners wore chains; their feet might be shackled and their hands attached to their neck by another chain. The very word “chains” became a synonym for imprisonment. Someprisoners were also kept in wooden stocks, devices to restrain the feet, hands, or even the neck of an individual which is clearly what Paul and Silas were in (see Acts 16:24). Prisons were often very dark (see Isa. 42:7); the inner area of the prison mentioned in Acts 16:24 was probably without windows. Although solitary confinement was known, prisoners generally were kept grouped together, accused and condemned, men and women alike. Overcrowding was not infrequent (Isa. 24:22). Prisons often had poor air circulation, a lack of hygienic facilities, rats and vermin and food of poor quality. Even “shady guards” might at times use the withholding of food or even use outright torture to extort money from prisoners or their relatives.



Being a Christian in Phillipi was not easy either. Philippi was a hotbed of Roman patriotism. The city of Philippi was filled with ex-Roman soldiers known for it’s patriotic nationalism as a Roman colony in ancient Macedonia. So when you build a church in an area that is highly resistant to any other king other than caesar, you will face some pushback. Because when caesar is called “lord and savior” of the world (literally according to history) as Paul is declaring Jesus is “Lord and Savior” of the world, the passion for Rome rose up. It manifested in such a way that caused not only Paul and Silas to face persecution but also the planted Philippian church to face continued persecution as well as it grew during the years after Paul and Silas left.





Yet while Paul was forced to stay behind four walls, his worship wasn’t. His response to go from being “free to share Jesus” to being constrained wasn’t met with frustration and fear but with something very different. Almost strange actually. Pauls response was praise and worship! You can read about it below:



25 About midnight Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns to God, and the other prisoners were listening to them. 26 Suddenly there was such a violent earthquake that the foundations of the prison were shaken. At once all the prison doors flew open, and everyone’s chains came loose.” Acts 16:25-26



I think there is something powerful in this text and I think it’s this: your circumstances can’t stop you from taking “worship stances.” In other words, your praise is more powerful than you think. Despite what you see around your and what you’re going through, our first response could be and should be worship. Your “shelter in place” orders means that God becomes “your place of shelter,'“



“He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.” Psalm 91:1



Don’t panic. Find peace. Find rest. Instead of “panicking your way through” this pandemic what if you “praised your way through” it. Because when you sing to God, your situation goes from “prison sentence” to “praise session.” And not only that, but the miraculous power of your praise and worship to God NOW does what Paul and Silas experienced THEN: the doors blow open and the chains come off. The more you praise and worship , the sooner your doors will open up again..and our quarantine will end! We are not confined to this forever. And I am just crazy enough to believe that if we choose to live from “unprecedented praise and worship” we will see this “unprecedented event” come to a beautiful end. The doors of our homes will open up and our “stay at home” order will become our “go make disciples” mission again.



And not only will the doors of our homes open, but the doors the local businesses, schools, government buildings and the church doors will open! There will be a day when we will go back to normal. And that normal will be most familiar to us when we can walk through the doors of our church again. God hasn’t called you to give up but to lift up your hands and your heads to the God who is the same yesterday, today and forever (Hebrews 13:8).


God is the same before this pandemic as He will be after. Or in other words, He is the same God on “both sides” of this outbreak. There is a song that reminds me of this truth. And it speaks to God’s limitless, boundless and “quarantine-less” strength of His authority. The song is called, “Both Sides” and the lyrics are as follows:



“No stone no grave
Can hold back Your power
No lie no chain
Can hold down Your love
Every knee will bow
And everyone will know
You’re King on both sides
Of the stone”

God’s authority has no limits. God’s strength was just as strong before Jesus death and after Jesus death. God’s authority was just as powerful before the resurrection and after the resurrection. God is just as sovereign and strong before this quarantine as He will be after this quarantine. While we may experience some permanent changes during this pandemic, God hasn’t changed. He’s just as loving, caring and merciful before this pandemic as He will be long after it. He’s King on both sides of the stone … and of the quarantine! God’s power doesn’t have a “stay at home order.” Paul knew it. And now you know it. Your worship shifts atmospheres. So sing like you are free and prepare for your chains to come off and your doors to open again!

TWO: Your Prayers Can’t Be Quarantined: What if your “stay-at-home order” becomes your “stand and pray” order?

When we look around, many of us only see the four walls we are surrounded by. When we look up, we see our ceilings and we are subtly duped into thinking that maybe that is as high as our prayer go. But that couldn’t be further from the truth. Your prayers are not hitting the ceiling. Quite the opposite! Just as God told Abraham to get out from under his 8-foot restriction and look up to see “his future,” God is calling you to walk over to a window, look up at the heavens and realize, God is bigger than you think.

You find yourself confined to the four walls of your prayer closet, restricted to your house and bound by our government order to stay home. But your prayers are unlimited, immeasurable, unrestricted and unfettered to move heaven and earth as a follower of Jesus. Here’s what the Bible says about your unrestrained prayers:

1 Corinthians 2:9. "But, as it is written, 'What no eye has seen, nor ear heard, nor the heart of man imagined, what God has prepared for those who love him'—"

Isaiah 55:9. "For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts."

Ephesians 1:18-19. "I ask that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened, so that you may know the hope of His calling, the riches of His glorious inheritance in the saints, and the surpassing greatness of His power to us who believe. He displayed this power in the working of His mighty strength."

Colossians 1:17. "And he is before all things, and in him all things hold together." 

Job 36:22-24. "God's power is unlimited. He needs no teachers to guide or correct him. Others have praised God for what he has done, so join with them."

Ephesians 3:19. "May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God."

It doesn’t matter what you are surrounded by when you are surrounded by God. Daniel knew that best. Daniel had a profound way of praying while in captivity and watching heaven move. He was so connected to heaven through prayer that an angel visited him and revealed to him that when he prayed, “heaven hustled” and came in response (Daniel 10:10-14). Daniel knew the power of prayer during his own “captivity” and that didn’t stop him from seeking God. Daniel had a profound understanding that when we are confined, God isn’t. God is the opposite. He’s omniscient, omnipresent and omnipotent. Those are big words to say that God can go where He wants, sees what He wants and does what He wants. God can’t be quarantined. And when we have to be, we are reminded that God doesn’t want to be.

Daniel was facing his own political restrictions and with a “death sentence” in the air. And what did he do? He confined himself to his room and prayed 3 times a day. Unfortunately it didn’t get better but got worse. His surrounding went from bedroom to cave. And when it got worse, Daniel discovered that heaven came to his rescue. Daniel didn’t see his captivity and his prison sentence as a distraction from God or as distance from God. No. He saw it as an opportunity to draw near to God. Whether he was shut up in his bedroom or sentenced to “death by cave” and surrounded by lions, he knew God was free to live and move and act according to His will because “in Him we live and move and have our being” (Acts 17:28). See the story below:

 “Now when Daniel learned that the decree had been published, he went home to his upstairs room where the windows opened toward Jerusalem. Three times a day he got down on his knees and prayed, giving thanks to his God, just as he had done before….”

“So the king gave the order, and they brought Daniel and threw him into the lions’ den. The king said to Daniel, “May your God, whom you serve continually, rescue you!” A stone was brought and placed over the mouth of the den, and the king sealed it with his own signet ring and with the rings of his nobles, so that Daniel’s situation might not be changed. Then the king returned to his palace and spent the night without eating and without any entertainment being brought to him. And he could not sleep. At the first light of dawn, the king got up and hurried to the lions’ den. When he came near the den, he called to Daniel in an anguished voice, “Daniel, servant of the living God, has your God, whom you serve continually, been able to rescue you from the lions?”  Daniel answered, “May the king live forever! My God sent his angel, and he shut the mouths of the lions. They have not hurt me, because I was found innocent in his sight. Nor have I ever done any wrong before you, Your Majesty.” - Daniel 6:10-22

Daniel survived because his prayers thrived. His prison sentence was an an answer to prayer. His calamity became a testimony. What if your “stay-at-home order” became your “stand and pray order?” God wants your “place of confinement” to become your “prayer closet” so you can see angels battle, lions become docile, decrees end and nations saved.

Paul wrote one his most famous verses about prayer while under constraint. While confined to his prison sentence, he knew the power of what prayer can do. He was restrained, but his words would not be. While he didn’t know what the future would look like, whether he would survive or whether he would see his family and friends again, he understood something all of us can’t forget. He knew that worry, anxiety and fear moves the kingdom of darkness but faith, trust and hope moves the kingdom of God. He says it so eloquently below:

“Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.” - Philippians 4:6-7

Paul couldn’t do anything but pray. Because he knew when we aren’t free, God is. When we can’t go, He can. What we can’t see, He already has. What we can’t understand, He already does. When we need help, He’s always there.

THREE: Your Purpose Can’t Be Quarantined: What if your “social distancing” becomes your time  of “determined discovering?”

What I mean by this is this: your purpose isn’t in lockdown or cut off from God like we are right now.  As a matter of fact, it’s quite the opposite.  Your purpose is just as significant as it was before this pandemic and it will be equally as important after!  But let’s even take it a step further: what if your purpose was “white hot” right now to be used by God to change the future!>

Consider the young man named Isaac.  A university student in London who found himself in the middle of an outbreak. It started with the words painted in red on the door that read, “Lord have mercy.”  While that would have been a phrase understood many times before, this one had a different tone to it.  It was different because Goodwoman Phillips was found dead on Christmas Eve in the run-down district of St. Giles-in-the-Fields. Phillips had died of bubonic plague. While only a few other deaths were reported over the next few months, the numbers began to climb and when summer arrived, death was everywhere. Over a period of 18 months, the Great Plague of London, as the epidemic came to be called, would claim more than 100,000 lives – roughly a quarter of the city’s population. And what was the cities response: social distancing.  

Social distancing was also the response of many of the institutions and that time.  One of the universities’ that closed for the duration was Cambridge University.  And among the students who headed home for what today we would call self-quarantining was our 23-year-old mathematics student, Isaac, that you may know better as Isaac Newton. For the next year and a half, Newton remained at his family’s farm in Lincolnshire, reading, studying, and thinking alone. While the bubonic pandemic raged elsewhere, Newton embarked on what he would later describe as the most intellectually productive period of his life – inventing an entirely new mathematical discipline…calculus. And without calculus we wouldn’t have modern mathematics, engineering, and statistics would be impossible. Isaac discovered his purpose and some of the greatest discoveries during his two-year time of being quarantined. 

Just like God used Isaac’s time of isolation to reveal his greater purpose, God is also doing that in you.  I know this because God often used isolation to prepare leaders for greater assignment. Joseph was sold into slavery and later accused of a crime he did not do which landed him in prison. God used over 13 years of preparation for what would be an 81-year assignment as second in command of Egypt. King David was forced to flee Saul, who was trying to kill him. He ended up in the Cave of Adullam as his hiding place. During his time in the cave he wrote three of the Psalms — Psalm 34, 57, and 142. The down and outs joined him in the cave. They became known as David’s Mighty Men. John, one of Jesus disciples, was sentenced to the Island of Patmos.  It was in his time of isolation here that he received the vision for the book of Revelation that we read in the Bible today. He did not die on this island, but God used his time of “being on an island” to download an important part of the Bible for God’s people.  

The “Prison Epistles” generally refer to four letters written by the Apostle Paul while he was under house arrest in Rome. Each letter — Ephesians, Philippians, Colossians, and Philemon — is addressed to a specific church or, in the case of Philemon, an individual, and while Paul penned each epistle to address specific needs of first-century Christians and the church (also letters to Timothy need to be mentioned as I did earlier). Most of Paul’s writings were written over a span of 15 years. In AD 60, he arrived in Rome and was imprisoned later that year. For the next two years, Paul would live under house arrest in Rome (see Acts 28:30-31). But that didn’t stop him from inspiring those around him! During this time, he continued to minister to those who visited and encourage local churches via letters he wrote from prison and it was in prison that Paul wrote some of his famous letters that hold some of God’s most treasured truths: 

“For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God-not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” - Ephesians 2:8-9

“Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters,  since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.” - Colossians 3:23-24

“But whatever were gains to me I now consider loss for the sake of Christ.” - Philippians 3:7 

“Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is.” - Ephesians 5:15-17

“Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion” - Philippians 1:6

In many of his letters, Paul often referred to himself as a “prisoner of Christ” (Ephesians 3:1, Philemon 1:1, etc), a position he willingly embraced. Even while imprisoned, Paul still carried the authority of Jesus Christ and ministered to those he was called to. Whether in person or via letter, Paul’s ministry was purposeful and profound, and his writings are just an impactful and instructional for the global church today.

Stop seeing this as a “prison sentence” and start seeing it as an opportunity for God to unveil and discover your purpose, your creativity and your design. For such a time as this you were made to be the teacher, the entrepreneur, the developer, the discipler, the instructor, the giver, the mother or the father so that you can release the God-given inspiration inside of you! What inspirational ideas, visions and dreams is God wanting you to accomplish during this season? Your purpose isn’t quarantined, so reach for the sky and dream big!

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Making Sense of God, Viruses and Global Chaos

Most of us are all walking through a shared experience right now.  We are all asked to be in quarantine.  We are all asked to social distance ourselves. And we are all asking questions.  Some of these questions I’m hearing are “why this?” and “why now?”  Maybe a more specific questions is this, “Why is God allowing this to happen?”

 

The “why” with this is real.  I have had conversations with some doctors and other medical personnel in my church.  And they are experiencing the extreme pressure  as caregivers during this incredible time.  I also have connected with others in regards to job loss, fear, death of loved ones and even those who have loved one’s infected with the coronavirus. 

 

 Our first response as Christians when we hear what is happening around us in our communities should be to show compassion.  Look around the world and we are seeing extreme sorrow, fear and heartbreak during these troubling times. A Biblical response is to “weep with those who weep”(Romans 12:15).  That was the answer of Jesus when facing heartbreak and hardship.  When Lazarus, Jesus friend, died and the family was in pain, Jesus chose compassion.  The account is recorded by John, one of the disciples traveling with Jesus, below: 

 

33 When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come along with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled. 34 “Where have you laid him?” he asked. “Come and see, Lord,” they replied. 35 Jesus wept. 36 Then the Jews said, “See how he loved him!” (John 11:33-36)

 

If it’s Jesus response, it’s our response as Christians, too.  At that time, Jesus could have given explanation.  But He wept.  It’s important to us to realize God is compassionate towards suffering.  And if that’s Jesus first response in times of trouble, then that should be our first response, too.  That’s why the shortest verse in the Bible, “Jesus wept” (John 11:35), for all of its grammatical simplicity, is packed with unfathomable complexity. Jesus wept after speaking with Lazarus’s grieving sisters, Martha and Mary, and seeing all the mourners. That seems natural enough. Except that Jesus had come to Bethany to raise Lazarus from the dead! He knew that in a few short minutes all this weeping would turn to astonished joy, and then tearful laughter, and then worship! So, one would think that Jesus would be a confident, joyful calm in that storm of sorrow. But he was “greatly troubled” (John 11:33), and He wept.

 

Jesus didn’t lead with excuses of why He was “late” or with theological explanations as to why God did or didn’t answer their prayers they were praying to Jehovah and believing for Jesus to heal.  Jesus was delayed in coming, and He did not speak healing from a distance like He did for the centurion’s servant (Matthew 8:13) when He could have. His reasons were good and merciful. But this did not mean Jesus took the suffering it caused lightly.  That’s not who God is.  It says in the Bible about God and suffering, “For He does not afflict from His heart or grieve the children of men” (Lamentations 3:33).  Jesus is sympathetic here because that’s what His nature is like (Hebrews 4:15). And as “the image of the invisible God” (Colossians 1:15), we see Jesus at the tomb of Lazarus and get a glimpse of how the Father feels over the affliction and grief we experience … especially in times like this.  

 

We need this context as a backdrop as we are thinking about this complex issue  of why God allows this virus to wreck humankind.  The two logical answers I have heard when faced with this question is either “God doesn’t exist” or “God doesn’t care.”  Even recently on Instagram, I saw a picture of God looking down on the earth with this quote: “Just a few more prayers.”  It gave the impression that God was watching the earth in suffering and was sadistically enjoying it. Almost like God was taking pleasure in watching His creation suffer.  

 

From what we know of God, He takes no pleasure in watching mankind suffer.  We know this from the biggest truth that God sent Jesus on earth to suffer and die so we don’t have to spend our lives on this earth suffering and even our eternity in suffering.  Jesus died so we can spend our lives enjoying the pleasures of God’s presence and an eternity in God’s presence.  So, the idea that suffering and evil is something God created and takes joy from, is not true. 

 

So why does God allow this to take place is the basic question we are attempting to unpack today.  I am coming at this from the perspective as a Christian.  I am using the Bible as my context.  I am using my perspective as a Christian to view this pandemic from.  If you are reading this and don’t believe in Christianity, then that is another discussion.  And you can read more about it here

 

I like quoting CS Lewis.  Lewis had rejected Christianity in his early teens and lived as an atheist through his 20s. Lewis turned to theism in 1930 and to Christianity in 1931, partly with the help of his close friend and devout Roman Catholic J.R. Tolkien.  Lewis described these changes in his autobiography, Surprised by Joy (1955), an account of his spiritual life through his early 30s.  While becoming a devout Christian, he wasn’t void of suffering himself.  Upon the death of his wife, C.S. Lewis wrote this,

 

 “Meanwhile, where is God? This is one of the most disquieting symptoms … But go to Him when your need is desperate, when all other help is in vain, and what do you find? A door slammed in your face, and a sound of bolting and double bolting on the inside.” C.S. Lewis, A Grief Observed 

 

Fortunately, Lewis came to grips with his grief and in the end realized that God not only exists, but that He is indeed all loving despite our sufferings.  Probably one of the greatest challenges faced by Christianity and Christians is the reality of evil and suffering. At times even great thinkers struggle because of the  contradiction between the existence of a loving God and the fact of evil.  Lewis followed up that quote in his same book with this:

 

“God has not been trying an experiment on my faith or love in order to find out its quality. He knew it already. It was I who didn't.”  C.S. Lewis, A Grief Observed

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It’s in times of difficulty that we find out what our faith is made of. Still, for Christians and non-Christians evil and suffering are often at the forefront of our minds, particularly when we ourselves are suffering. Because their will come a time when our faith comes face-to-face with this question: “How could a good God allow so much evil? Why doesn’t He do something about it? Couldn’t God have created a world without evil?”

 

These are important questions and while we cannot solve them all neatly in one short article, we can address evil and suffering and begin to offer some possible solutions to the seeming dilemma. 

 

So how do we respond as Christians?

 

We have to understand that we are all going to die.  None of us are going to live forever.  Many are trying to live forever. For example, take the view of transhumanism.  This is the belief or theory that the human race can evolve beyond its current physical and mental limitations, especially by means of science and technology.  Basically, when our bodies expire, we are using scientific modifications to extend our life. Science fiction from the movies coming to life!

 

Dave Asprey (founder of bulletproof coffee, diet, etc.) is someone who is practicing transhumanism as an anti-aging enthusiast.  Asprey has said that he expects to live to age 180. As of 2019, Asprey said he had spent at least $1 million "hacking his own biology," including having his own stem cells injected into him, taking 100 daily supplements, following a strict diet, bathing in infrared light, using a hyperbaric oxygen chamber, and wearing special lenses when flying, etc.  

 

David is just one of many health guru’s who have an inward drive and desire to live forever.  He is not comfortable with dying.  No one is.  And David will spend whatever it takes to prevent it.  And his quest is futile because death is inevitable.  As Christians we understand this with Adam.  When Adam ate from the tree,  death and evil was unleashed into the world.  The understanding of Adam’s sin is important to understanding evil and suffering in the world.  His sinful action resulted in nature being cursed.  Creation became tainted.  Childbirth became painful.  Even all the animals in creation were subject to Adam before the fall of mankind and now are ruthless and attack mankind.  Adam and Eve’s sin unleashed evil in humankind and made ALL of creation corrupt and unleashing evil and suffering into the world. 

 

It should be noted there are two kind of evil: moral evil and natural evil.  Moral evil is where we understand the principles of right and wrong behavior and the goodness or badness of human character and choices (for example: drunk driving, stealing, rape, murder, etc.).  Natural evil is where we understand that all of creation is corrupt resulting in expressions of global suffering like cancer, natural disasters, shark attacks, viruses, etc. The Bible makes it crystal clear that all of creation is desiring to get back into “right relationship” with our Creator, 

 

19 For all creation is waiting eagerly for that future day when God will reveal who his children really are. 20 Against its will, all creation was subjected to God’s curse. But with eager hope,21 the creation looks forward to the day when it will join God’s children in glorious freedom from death and decay. 22 For we know that all creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time.”  Romans 8:19-23

 

When we look at any present chaos, we see that the source of it is found in and is traced back to Adam and Eve’s decision to eat from the fruit in the garden which unleashed sin upon the world and ultimately death.  The entire world is ultimately “under the curse of sin” (Genesis 3:17).  Essentially the world is broken because of Adam.  And God continues to reference Adam throughout the Bible.  Adam in Hebrew means “man.” And anytime you see “son of man” in the Bible (it appears 107 times in Old Testament), God is reminding us that we are part of Adam’s lineage and of course, part of the fall. Similar to a President as the representative of a country who represents all of its citizens.  Just like a President can choose to make a call for war and thrust everyone in that country into war, Adams choice to sin put us at war against the original plan of God for our lives.

 

This theological understanding helps us make sense of all the bad happening in our world. From earthquakes, fires, murder, death and destruction, the fall of man has wrecked our paradise and we are now engaging in a battle of good and evil with our souls while under the curse of sin. Even in our own pandemic, we see moral evil expressed from hoarding supplies to the possible creation of the virus in a lab to the natural evil of battling sickness and disease in a fallen world.  

 

There is hope to this curse we are living under. And our hope will always begin and end with Jesus. That’s why Jesus is so important to us as Christians.  The Bible specifically addresses the idea of humankind being under a “curse. ” And the Bible also addresses a future free of this curse and all of its side effects.  Paul was speaking to the citizens of Galatia when he wrote a letter to them talking about the curse of sin on mankind,  

 

"Christ redeemed us from the curse of the law by becoming a curse for us, for it is written: ‘Cursed is everyone who is hung on a tree'" (Galatians 3:13, NIV).

 

In the Old Testament, to be cursed is to be removed from the presence of God, to be set outside the camp, to be cut off from His benefits. That is what we experienced, “spiritually speaking,” when mankind sinned.  But Jesus came to remove the curse from us by putting it on Himself. On the cross, Jesus hung on that tree, was crucified and was cursed. That is, He represented mankind and was sent to “undo” the curse by taking the full measure of the curse on Himself. When Jesus did that, our future changed from death (separated from God) back into life (connection with God).  Jesus’ death restored us back into relationship with God, again! And we will experience our “full restoration” when we get to heaven.  But until then, we are calling out to God and so is ALL of creation to be fully restored back into perfect harmony and unity with God, again!  Romans says it best,

 

19 The entire universe is standing on tiptoe, yearning to see the unveiling of God’s glorious sons and daughters! 20 For against its will the universe itself has had to endure the empty futility resulting from the consequences of human sin. But now, with eager expectation, 21 all creation longs for freedom from its slavery to decay and to experience with us the wonderful freedom coming to God’s children. 22 To this day we are aware of the universal agony and groaning of creation, as if it were in the contractions of labor for childbirth. 23 And it’s not just creation. We who have already experienced the firstfruits of the Spirit also inwardly groan as we passionately long to experience our full status as God’s sons and daughters—including our physical bodies being transformed.”  (Romans 8:19-23). 

 

So, until then, we experience viruses, sickness, disease and all the brokenness of creation.  And the hope in all of us as Christians, even during difficult times like this, is that while we endure on this earth, there is a future that belongs to us with no more sickness, disease, tears or pain.  God says it in the book of Revelation, written by John, one of Jesus disciples who had an incredible encounter with God and saw heaven.  He shares his encounter with God in the book of Revelation as he saw a glimpse of heaven and recorded it below:

 

He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain. All these things are gone forever.”

And the one sitting on the throne said, “Look, I am making everything new!” And then he said to me, “Write this down, for what I tell you is trustworthy and true.” And he also said, “It is finished! I am the Alpha and the Omega—the Beginning and the End. To all who are thirsty I will give freely from the springs of the water of life. All who are victorious will inherit all these blessings, and I will be their God, and they will be my children.”  Revelation 21:4-7

 

Sometimes we will experience a “fast forward” of bringing the finality of heaven and the restoration of heaven through miracles from our future into our present.  So we pray for a miracle and ask God for that “no-more-tears-and-pain” restoration to happen NOW when we face sickness, pain and hopelessness.   Sometimes we experience a miracle of healing and sometimes we don’t. But Praying to God is placing our spiritual lives and our future in His hands. He can choose to prolong our life here, in this broken world, by giving us the miracle we would have received in heaven now, or we experience our miracle when we get to heaven. While the choice isn’t ours, we trust always that God, who knows our past, present and future, will give us His best because God desires the best for us.

This earth isn’t home because heaven is.  This body isn’t our home because we get new bodies in heaven.  Part of not having the curse anymore is we get new bodies in heaven when we arrive there.  We realize that death is inevitable. So we put up with these “messed up tents” until we get a “permanent home” in heaven.  Paul, who also saw heaven and knows this to be true wrote about this to the early church in the city of Corinth by writing about this, 

 

“For we know that when this earthly tent we live in is taken down (that is, when we die and leave this earthly body), we will have a house in heaven, an eternal body made for us by God himself and not by human hands. We grow weary in our present bodies, and we long to put on our heavenly bodies like new clothing. For we will put on heavenly bodies; we will not be spirits without bodies. While we live in these earthly bodies, we groan and sigh, but it’s not that we want to die and get rid of these bodies that clothe us. Rather, we want to put on our new bodies so that these dying bodies will be swallowed up by life. God himself has prepared us for this….”  2 Corinthians 5:1-5

 

Until then, we face a broken world, with broken bodies while living in the midst of broken creation.  That’s why there is evil, sin, disease heartbreak.  All of it made healed and whole through Jesus.  Permanently.  We will experience part of it in this lifetime and we will experience ALL of it in the life to come when we go to heaven. 

 

This is the first truth about why we are experiencing what we are experiencing.  The fact that we are all going to die, someday. But there is a second truth to wrap our heads around.  It’s this:  God is good.  The Bible says it throughout.  Here’s some quick references from the Bible to get you thinking:

 

“The Lord, the Lord God, merciful and gracious, longsuffering, and abounding in goodness and truth.” Exodus 34:6

 

“Oh, give thanks to the Lord, for He is good! For His mercy endures forever.”  1 Chronicles 16:34

 

“And they sang responsively, praising and giving thanks to the Lord: “For He is good, for His mercy endures forever toward Israel.” Ezra 3:11

 

“Good and upright is the Lord.” Psalm 25:8

 

“Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life; and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever”. Psalm 23:6

 

“The Lord is good to all, and His tender mercies are over all His works.” Psalm 145:9

 

“No one is good but One, that is, God.” Mark 10:18

 

“I would have lost heart, unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living”. Psalm 27:13

 

 

 

But sometimes the problem of evil is brought to us as Christians in the form of a complex question: “If God is good, then He must not be powerful enough to deal with all the evil and injustice in the world since it is still going on. And if He is powerful enough to stop wrongdoing, then He himself must be an evil God since He’s not doing anything about it even though He has the capability.” 

 

So which is it? Is He a bad God or not that powerful?”  

 

The problem of evil and suffering bugged the Kings and Prophets back in the Biblical days:

 

“Evils have encompassed me without number.” Psalm 40:12

 

“Why is my pain unceasing, my wound incurable, refusing to be healed.” Jeremiah 15:18

 

You are not wrong to ask the question of pain and suffering in the world.  However, we must understand this: God did not create the world in the state in which it is in. Suffering came as a result of the selfishness of man. In contrast, the Bible says that God is a God of love.  The exact opposite of evil and suffering.  It’s made clear in the book of 1 John,

 

“God is love. This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. 10 This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. 11 Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. 12 No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.” (1 John 4:8-12)

 

God is love.  But genuine love cannot exist unless freely given through free choice to accept God’s love or to reject it. This choice made the possibility of evil and suffering to become very real. When Adam and Eve rejected God, they rejected His love and by their choice, they chose to suffer. God is neither evil nor did He create suffering. Man brought suffering upon himself by selfishly choosing his own way apart from God’s way.  Again, we’ve referenced that earlier, but we just cannot forget that fact.  

 

God is not only good, but God is also powerful.  He is not only the Creator of all of it, but He also remedied all of it.  Through Jesus.  God fixed mankind’s brokenness AND showed the world the true nature of God’s power and personality through Christ.  Jesus is the ultimate expression of God to mankind.  This is key point to understand.  He truly is “the invisible expression of an invisible God” (Colossians 1:15).  Jesus said it plainly, “If you’ve seen me, you’ve seen the Father” (John 14:9).  How Jesus reacts to the Godly, the religious, the tyrants and the hurting in the Bible is how God exactly feels about these specific kinds of people and situations.  And how Jesus felt and responded is exactly how God feels and responds.  He is quick to forgive the sinner, to put the “religious hypocrate” in their place, care for the children and show compassion on the hurting.  

 

God was powerful enough to stop suffering and death through Jesus Christ. AND God’s answer to suffering is an eternity with God.  And when suffering does come, our awareness that “this world isn’t our home” becomes more real and we are filled with the greater reality that this world isn’t our home but being in the presence of God is where we belong.   When suffering comes, there is a greater awareness of God to those in the midst of suffering.  And with the greater awareness comes a greater comfort that is found in Jesus which is a foretaste of heaven.   The answer for suffering and evil is found in Jesus.  And Jesus said, “where I am, you will also be” as followers of Christ (John 14:1-6).  

 

The result of our suffering will always be the loosening of our grip on this world and a tighter grip on the world to come.  This world, what we have and what we are building shouldn’t be the ultimate security when God is supposed to be.  The goal for us is not to live the “American Dream.”  Our purpose is not for us to “become rich” or to “have the least amount of pain in life.”  The goal, the purpose and meaning of life is to know God.  To know God is to know Jesus.  To know Jesus is to know eternity with Him.  Jesus didn’t die to give us a “better life.”  No, he died to save us from sin and death (Romans 8:2).  And our reward is an eternity with Him.  

 

In the midst of calamity, there is a greater revelation of our frailty and our eternity.  In our world, there is moral calamity and natural calamity.  Moral calamity is the evil actions of men (rape, murder, suffering).  Natural calamity is fires, hurricanes, earthquakes and viruses. Because of this pandemic, there is a new awareness of how important community is, how important our children are, how much we need people and relationships in general.  God didn’t cause this calamity, but He is using it to bring about our need for God and for each other.  

There were calamities in Jesus day.  Some that were memorable to the crowds that Jesus was teaching to.  And the people were asking about both moral and natural calamities to Jesus.  And Jesus response was to help them see the greater need for their eternity.  See Jesus response to the questions below: 

 

 About this time Jesus was informed that Pilate had murdered some people from Galilee as they were offering sacrifices at the Temple. “Do you think those Galileans were worse sinners than all the other people from Galilee?” Jesus asked. “Is that why they suffered?Not at all! And you will perish, too, unless you repent of your sins and turn to God. And what about the eighteen people who died when the tower in Siloam fell on them? Were they the worst sinners in Jerusalem? No, and I tell you again that unless you repent, you will perish, too.” Luke 13:1-5

 

There was clearly a moral calamity of some corrupt political decisions from an immoral government leader resulting in the death of some people from Galilee.  The people assumed God was “punishing them” and Jesus said, “Not at all!” And steered the crowd back to their eternal security.  There was also a question about the natural calamity of a collapse of some towers in the city killing many.  The people thought that was God who caused it and was “punishing them” because of theirs sins.  Jesus cleared it up by saying no and then yet again, moving them towards repentance because Jesus was less concerned about their theological issues about the “why would God allow this to happen” and more concerned about them discovering “where would they go if it did happen?”

 

While we can’t be sure to know “exactly” what God thinks and what God’s doing 100% of the time, we can do our best to understand the mind and heart of God through Scripture.  And while there are questions and doubts, because we will have them, there are those truths that we can always hold on to.  And one that is very real and very true at this time is this: 

 

“What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?”  Romans 8:31

 

“God is the same yesterday, today and forever.”  Hebrews 13:8

 

God is the same loving, providing, all-knowing and perfect loving God before this pandemic. He is the same during this time and He will continue to be the same after.  He’s always been for you.  And will continue to be for you and your family!

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How Do I Respond To Those Who Disagree With Me?


\We have an obligation to engage in what is happening in culture.  Jesus walked into culture and asked hard questions and brought clarity with love, honesty and hope…we should do the same.  Jesus was in the middle of controversy but with a grace that allowed others to hear what He had to say while not void of arguments from the cultural and political leaders of His day. But He chose to speak life and truth into the current national climate of the first century.   As Christian’s we are empowered to bring unity to division because that’s where God’s blessing is commanded (PSALM 133:1).

 

I PROPOSE 2 courses of action:  



1. CIVILITY

Jesus knew how to love and serve the government when they weren’t in charge and feeling the effects of a political power that didn’t seem fair.  During Christ’s life on earth, the New Testament Christians were routinely marginalized, persecuted and even put to death by the Roman state. Even though this was the “normal” for the Jesus’ community, honoring and cooperating with and praying for the Roman officials was part of being a follower of Jesus.  But it’s hard to honor leaders and their followers when they are dishonorable.  Jesus was not protesting against the government when He didn’t agree but was submitting to all Roman authorities in compliance.  Even when His followers wanted Him to riot because the authorities were being dishonest and unjust, Jesus chose not to resist but to submit to their rule (John 18:11-15, MARK 12:17, 1 PETER 2:13-17, ROMANS 13:1-2)



2. HONOR

Cultures and communities can go toxic.  History proves that.   Bringing honor into a situation is one of the ways to remove the toxicity and add dignity, consideration and reverence.  While we can and should feel strongly about our political and social issues as followers of Jesus, we are called to a higher place of authority and respect. Whether we agree or disagree with those around us, in showing honor to others, we are respecting God (1 Samuel 2:30).  Not only is it the right thing to do but it can be one of the most powerful ways to show the world the authenticity of our faith. / SCRIPTURE:  1 PETER 2:17 

 


 


BECAUSE IT’S NOT ABOUT BEING POLITICAL BUT IT’S ABOUT BEING GOSPEL

Your politics enforce your “political views.”  The Gospel enforces Christ’s “good news.”  So be a bringer of the truth not “your opinions.”  Everyone has a deep desire to know the truth.  Our hardest part is differentiating truth from opinions.  Truth is factual and opinions are emotional.  Truth is accurate and opinions acclimate.  Truth authenticates and opinions speculates.  You can’t have the Gospel without grace.  We need the graciousness of God.  So be a gracious person.  Graciousness is one of the most potent postures you can make when engaging with others.  We believe graciousness overrules combativeness at the end of the day.  Graciousness is this:  Having a forgiving attitude and a compassionate position while walking in wisdom with those who’s attitudes and beliefs differ from yours.   So be gracious towards others than being defensive towards others. / SCRIPTURE: COLOSSIANS 4:5-6

 

 

7 WAYS TO ENGAGE WITH OTHERS WHO MAY DISAGREE:



STOP LABELING EACH OTHER AND START LEARNING FROM EACH OTHER

What if we saw each other as creations of God and not as our political labels or positions?  When we see each other as sons and daughters in the “same family”, we have a starting point to engage with others that isn’t political to me but personal to God. 

 

RESIST CONDITIONAL HONORING 

We are quick to dismiss others who don’t agree with our political views, parenting views, etc. We seem to have drifted into a conversational norm of “ I will respect you if you respect me but if we disagree then ‘screw you.’” People are going to disagree with you. Simply writing them off and calling them a name or putting a label on them doesn’t make us better as a community.

 

BE DISAGREEABLE WHILE NOT BEING DISHONORABLE 

When the actions of your leadership disagrees with your view of what leadership is, you have a choice to make.   Choose to express your “disagreement” while living submissively to the political leadership and loving unconditionally with your relationships. 

 

ENGAGE WITH MATURITY 

It’s hard when we don’t get our own way. My kids have taught me that. They throw a tantrum, hit, throw and scream. That’s what immaturity fosters. Maturity provokes civility, conversation and peaceful discourse. When we choose to riot, rebel and resist, it communicates a message to others that is immature. God wants us to be mature as Christians. Not just mature but “Christlike.”

 

INSTEAD OF CREATING WALLS, CREATE OPPORTUNITIES

Jesus chose to go into difficult places, not avoid them.  He was more pro-woman than any political figure in history considering the context of the first century.  He was more “politically right” with his beliefs about Scripture, loving the religious, supporting the Roman military and leading with charity.  He also was more “liberal” with the way He chose to love:  Jesus fed the hungry, reached out cross-culturally, identified with the poor, the immigrant, loved the religious and fought for the outsider.  , etc.  

 

REMEMBER THE TRUTH OF AN ISSUE IS DIFFERENT THAN THE PERSON TIED TO THE ISSUE

The issues that we are reading about and talking about aren’t just policies on paper but are tied to human beings connected to these issues (families, friends, co-workers, etc.).  The truth of a matter doesn’t change the truth that we love the person connected to the matter.  Grace and truth work together to give us posture and narrative that builds unity in our community.

 

PURSUE CHANGE OF HEART NOT OPINION

Jesus constantly confirms it’s not about being right with others but doing right to others.  Jesus is more concerned with the heart of someone than their political opinion of someone.  Jesus is seeking a change of heart and mind in his opponents, not just to win an argument. His desire is to bring them to a place of experiencing forgiveness, peace and unity.

 

We have an obligation to engage in what is happening in culture with honor and civility.  Bringing honor into a situation is one of the ways to remove the toxicity and add dignity, consideration and reverence. Jesus modeled civility by not protesting against the government when He didn’t agree but was submitted to all Roman authorities in compliance when necessary.   We should resist being political and engage by being Gospel through graciousness. Graciousness is having a forgiving attitude and a compassionate position while walking in wisdom with those who’s attitudes and beliefs differ from yours.  

 

 

 

 

 

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How To Make A "Second Opinion Circle"

It’s easy to get it wrong. How do I know this? I’ve stood in front of a mirror, looked at myself and said, “dang, I look good.” Then, within that same 10 second window, to have my wife walk by and say, “are you wearing that? That doesn’t look good on you, babe.” I thought my hotness level was at a 10. I didn’t even register on the scale. So I changed and am now realizing she loves my personality. Not my fashion choices!

Some people do not want any advice. Some people listen to only “one kind” of advice. Some are very open to our peers but are adverse to the counsel of older people. Many of us only are open to the opinions of people who are of our own economic level, our own race, gender or political persuasion.

The “Christian walk” is all about forward motion. It’s about getting you to places that God has ordained for you and that will unlock your destiny. it’s about moving forward into the future that God has for you. And that will require you to make decisions that will move you closer spiritually, financially, relationally , emotionally into God’s will for your life.

The average adult from a university study at Cornell found out that you will make an average of 35,000 decisions a day … And 227 involve food! I can relate! Even as you are reading this, you are asking yourself where you are wanting to go eat after you finish this post (you'‘re not alone-I am too!). We are bombarded by decisions we have have to make each day. Some of these decisions are easy but some are hard. And they can paralyze us. We can become overwhelmed to the point of even indecision. But let’s take Bear Grylls advice on making decisions to survive,

“Survival is about Being fearless.It’s about making a decision, Getting on and doing it. Because I want to see my kids again Or whatever the reason might be.” - Bear Grylls

Essentially Bear Grylls is saying that if you want to survive it’s about making decisions in moving forward. And just like needing Bear to give us a kick in the butt, we need people to help us make decisions. We need a “second opinion circle.”

What is a second opinion circle? It’s a group of people that you trust that can give context, advice and a second opinion to the decision you have to make. If you’re going to make a decision you need other people to be involved in your life. You’re going to need a community that can help filter your thoughts, feelings an ideas that you have. To not have this, according to the Bible, is foolish. Solomon, known in antiquity and the Scriptures as the wisest man who ever lived, gave this advice when trying to make decisions:

“For lack of guidance a nation falls but victory is won through many advisers.” - Proverbs 11:14

“Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise but the companion of fools suffer harm.” - Proverbs 13:20

“Plans fail for lack of counsel but with many advisers they succeed.” - Proverbs 15:22

“Surely you need guidance to wage war and victory is won through many advisers.” Proverbs 24:6

It comes down to the singular question, “Are you willing to suspend your own opinion about what you believe about your situation and submit it to someone else to speak into it who is trusted, wiser, and committed to seeing you get you to the best place that you need to be in life?” This question is hard for many of us. And it think the reason it is hard is because we have lost confidence in the institutions, authorities and other sources of cultural credibility that once held a higher value. Our parents, police, president and those voices we have elevated to a place of wisdom have diminished in their reliability and so have those people . So we choose to distance ourselves from them and do it on our own . But God has designed all of us to have community and covering. While no one is perfect, God desires you to have a group of people you can trust, that believe in you and are helping you advance farther in life and deeper in God.

In the Bible, Peter is also speaking and inspiring those in his Biblical community to do the same. Peter writes it this way:

“In the same way, you who are younger, submit yourselves to your elders. All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because, ‘God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.’ Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time.” 1 Peter 5:5-6

Being a New Young Christian means that no matter what season you are in life, there is someone who has lived through it. That person is typically wiser and more experienced than you. The word “elder” is a word that is used for those who are not just older, but those who have lived through where you need to go. They are farther along in the journey ahead of you. For example, if you are wanting to go college or start your own business, find that person you trust that has started their own business and ask them about the difficulties. Talk to someone who has been married for a few years and ask about the challenges of having a spouse. Find another mom who has lived through the “baby stage” of life and let them tell you about the “life hacks” of navigating the season. Find someone who has gone off to college and have them talk about the difficulties of staying connected to God while away from home. Talk to someone who quit their job to try a different field and find out that it’s not as easy as it looks. It’s not as much about age as it is about experience. A second opinion circle has voices in it that are trusted by you who have gone ahead of you to tell you what the terrain is like, where the path can be difficult and the places along your journey to avoid.

God shows us in this verse that the hardest part of this will be your pride. You can tell there is pride in your life when you have said these things:

I got my job on my own and I don’t need someone to open the door for me.

I just feel like I won’t like it, so why bother trying.

I don’t need my parents to tell me what to do.

They don’t know how hard it is to be single in 2019 and trying to find the right person.

Everyone says he’s not right for me, but they don’t know him like I do and I know he loves me..

I just feel like I need to do this for me and you don’t get me.

Pride is essentially saying: you can do it yourself. That you don’t need community or covering. That’s why humility is necessary when building your second opinion circle. It’s admitting that you CAN’T DO IT ALONE and that others are necessary. It’s admitting the you don’t have all the answers and that others do. It’s inviting others into your decision-making process and asking them to speak into your current situation. And not just those who agree with you but those who want the best for you. That is humility and when you humble yourself, you are lifted up to the places that God always had in mind for you! 

HOW TO BUILD A SECOND OPINION CIRCLE: 

 

One. Be a teachable person. 

Being teachable means that you are capable of receiving instruction.  Teachability is an attitude that will never stop learning. Matt Keller says it is, "Being willing to relearn what we think we already know." Early on as leaders many of us have it because we are new. However, the more successful you become, the less teachable you become.  The Rich Young Ruler was successful professionally, personally and spiritually (Matthew 19:16-22).  He was influential with many speaking about him but with no one speaking into him. Jesus encounters this young adult, looked at him, loved him and corrected him.  But when Jesus pointed out a flaw in his path to success, he resisted.  He walked away sad and essentially missing out on following Jesus (maybe even being one of the 12 disciples). Who has permission in your life to tell you the truth, even when things seem to be going great for you? 

 

“Jesus answered, ‘If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.’ When the young man heard this, he went away sad, because he had great wealth.”  Matthew 19:21-22

 

 

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Two. Realize your friends aren’t always right

Even though you may have friends who give you their opinions, they aren’t always right. While we love our friends, they don’t always give the best advice. You’ve experienced it when they have the day off tomorrow and want you to call in sick for work tomorrow. Or make you go to that move that “everyone’s talking about” and you find yourself sitting there thinking, “this is 2 hours I won’t get back and $12 I will never see again.” Rehoboam, a young man taking on the new position of King, knew this pressure. When becoming King, he had his group of friends giving him advice on some decisions he should make during his first week in office. Then there were those that have been around a while who offered him advice on how they thought he should lead. Solomon chose his friend and the result ended up splitting the Kingdom in half! His circle didn’t have those who thought differently and saw things from a different perspective. They were living in an illusion of invulnerability. Find people who are outside of your normal thinking, age and expertise. Invite them in to give you their perspective. It may help you avoid some very big missteps! 

 

 

Then King Rehoboam consulted the elders who had served his father Solomon during his lifetime. “How would you advise me to answer these people?” he asked. They replied, “If today you will be a servant to these people and serve them and give them a favorable answer, they will always be your servants.” But Rehoboam rejected the advice the elders gave him and consulted the young men who had grown up with him and were serving him.”  1 Kings 12:6-8

 

 

 

 

Three. Find people farther than you

Find the people around you who are modeling where you want to go. Find people who have gone before you and have walked through your life stage to coach you through it.  Find someone who is similar in strengths and personality with you and ask them how they have dealt with the personality traits that can sabotage. A mentor represents the direction of where you want to go and/or who you want to become.  I’ve spent a lot of time trying to intentionally pursue friendships and relationships with people who are smarter, more skilled and simply ‘better’ than me.  To become a better person and leader, spend time with people who are better than you and who have lived farther than you. Faithfulness celebrates progress more than success. Find people who didn’t give up. Look for people who chose to go the distance. 



“For this reason I have sent to you Timothy, my son whom I love, who is faithful in the Lord. He will remind you of my way of life in Christ Jesus, which agrees with what I teach everywhere in every church.”  1 Corinthians 4:17

 

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5 Ways Men Can Get Their Spiritual Drive Back

I found something out which I guess I didn’t know existed. Monday, November 19th, was International Men’s Day.  I didn’t know this was a thing.  But apparently, there is a day where men can be celebrated.  While I am all about celebrating the marginalized, the oppressed and the forgotten, celebrating the male species I think is a good thing and should be a good thing!  While a lot of women could argue “every day seems like it’s man’s day,” the day in the life of a dude isn’t always as easy as you think. 

Guys are expected not to cry, not to show too much emotion and to “act manly.”  So most guys choose to keep their guard up constantly and “protect themselves.”  It’s no wonder why guys choose to spend long amounts of time in the bathroom…so that they can let their guard down for a few minutes.  Whether that’s healthy or not, it is true. Being an “emotional man” isn’t generally encouraged by others but is generally prohibited by cultural standards.  All guys need a time and place to process their thoughts, feelings and emotions.  And for many men, that’s hard to do.

In the general sense, men are aggressive.  Throughout history, men have been fighters, militant and contentious.  It’s in our nature to brawl, roughhouse and to scrap from time to time. While these attributes seem “normal” to most men, it is combative, chauvinistic and arrogant to others.  So we pull back.  We stifle ourselves.  We choose to bury our vigor and the fight in us.  That’s hard for men to do on a daily basis and it can be exhausting.

Most guys have a hard time expressing themselves because it can be perceived as weakness.  While that’s not true, men have a hard time finding the vocabulary to say how they really feel.  When asked “how’s it going?”, we choose to say, “fine” and call it a day.  If your boyfriend, husband or dad gives you a one-word answer, it’s not that he doesn’t care-he just doesn’t know how to express himself or doesn’t want to express himself.   Don’t get me wrong, men CAN express themselves at different times: At a musical festival for example, guys are great at taking their shirt off and jumping around screaming in a “mosh pit.”  And most men don’t have a hard time expressing themselves at a football game.  Truth be told, we are great at being emotional at sporting events.  That’s where we let out our aggression and pent up frustration at the refs!  But are we really yelling at the referees? Or are we really “yelling” at our co-worker who isn’t pulling his weight at work or the neighbor who can’t keep his yard groomed for at least longer than a week.  Probably both! While we are saying “you suck, ref” from the outside, we are really letting out our emotional frustrations at the world around us from the inside and we are yelling at the refs because they are bias.

Men also have a hard time finding and keeping spiritual drive.  Prayer can be emotional, life groups make us vulnerable, church can questionable and sin can be shameful. Shame is the biggest defeater of a man’s confidence and the greatest enemy of authentic connection between him and God.  Shame compels guys to remove themselves and put themselves into hiding. Shame leads to isolation.  Guys seem to feel the most shame when it comes to sexual sin.  In a sexually-driven and centered culture, temptation tends to get the best of us. We feel like we are failures and we give up.  Shame has a tendency to drain a man’s “spiritual drive” leaving him feeling complacent and defeated.

 

All of these factors above (and of course others) can affect the spiritual confidence of men. The New Young Christian believes that strong men lead to strong relationships, strong relationships become strong families and strong families make a strong churches.  I’ve been married for 22 years. And I have had to learn to find the rhythm of praying for my family, helping my family to understand the love of God through reading the Bible and spiritually leading my family into the future God has for us.  I firmly believe my times of inviting the presence of God into the presence of my family has helped our family to remain strong, together, respectful and loving throughout all our time together.  

Guys want a place to come home to that is peaceful, encouraging and inspirational.  I firmly believe our homes should be the place of the most peace, love and joy than anywhere else on the planet.  This won’t just happen.  It has to be intentional.  And the intentionality starts with men choosing to give priority to their spiritual lives. The spiritual atmosphere at home changes when men choose to fill it with prayers, Scriptures and the presence of God. I firmly believe that when guys choose to prioritize their spiritual lives everyone around them (with their roommates, their girlfriend, their wife, their kids, etc) will experience a difference.

But that’s not always easy to do.

From the men I have talked to, home is one of the hardest places to seek God in. 

 

This begs the question: why do men struggle to be spiritual leaders at home?  

First of all, it’s a spiritual battle (Ephesians 6:12). If there is no prayer at home, then there will be no power at home, and the enemy wins. Second, prayer seems unproductive to an “outcome-driven” man. He may consider it a waste of time.  When we don’t see the results, we become frustrated and we can give up. Third, we still wrestle with our own weaknesses and wounds and that immobilizes us with guilt and shame (2 Corinthians 12:9).   Fourth, we convince ourselves that we’re not good at being spiritual leaders, so we avoid the potential failure.  So we give that role to our wives, our girlfriend or the most spiritual person in our homes.  Finally, we’ve underestimated our influential role at home to model humility and desperation after God (Psalm 63:1). Men have lost their spiritual drive and it’s time to get it back.

 

5 Ways Men Can Get Their Spiritual Drive Back:

 

One.  Remember you are a son, first

All of us have fathers that have let us down in some way, shape and form.  And none of us were the perfect child.  But God is a perfect Father.  And He calls you, “son.” Even when Jesus was asked about “how to pray,” the first stanza in Jesus answer of how to pray as a disciple is that we are to look up to God and call him “Father.”  And if He is our Father then that makes us His sons.  We have been adopted into the family of God through the Holy Spirit (Romans 8:15).   When we pray and lead our families as “sons of God” it reminds us that we have a Father who loves us deeply and sincerely cares about our every need.  And a Father’s affirmation helps us as men to “go the distance.”  Even Jesus needed the affirmation of the Father as a Son when He was living and “doing life and ministry.” Of the three times God spoke from heaven, two of them were affirmations to Jesus of “this is My beloved Son.”  (Matthew 3:17). If Jesus needs that reminder to be a spiritual leader, so do the guys in your life. 

 

 

Two.  Embrace the grace

Embrace the grace God has given you to love Jesus personally so you can influence those around you spiritually.  God’s grace (favor and acceptance of you) not only saved you but sustains you (Ephesians 2:8-10). Nothing can separate you from the love of God and His plans and future He has for you and your family.  No matter what kind of week you have had as a man of God, God’s love for you hasn’t changed.  Because God doesn’t change.  He’s not more in love with you today than He was yesterday.  He doesn’t love you less because you sinned more.  No way! He’s the same yesterday, today and forever (Hebrews 13:8). God loved you before you ever loved Him (Romans 5:8).  It’s the same love God has for Jesus, His Son, is the same love God has for you.  Grace is the acceptance of God you can never earn but simply receive.  Sin will always disqualify your acceptance of God but grace will always amplify your acceptance by God.  When it seems like the world is always against you, remember that God is always for you.  And if God is for you, who can be against you (Romans 8:31).  You have what it takes to be the man your family needs…and wants!

 

Three.  Eliminate busyness

As men, if we don’t eliminate our busyness, we just may eliminate our souls. Developing a lifestyle of leaving early before work and staying late to earn a paycheck or position is not a sustainable for any spiritual leader. It’s time for us as men to take a hard but practical look at the busyness that our life accrues.  We have to slow down and inventory the choices we are making daily that are sabotaging our peace and compelling us to rush, achieve and overcommit.  Confronting the “idolatry of speed” that is causing so much emotional and relational trauma for us and our families is important. There’s never been a more sobering moment as a man than to “be still and know that I am God” (Psalm 46:10).

 

 

Four. Leverage the table

Most guys love to eat.  So make your eating time your devotional time.  Take a moment at the dinner table to simply share what you read in the Bible over the last week.  Or get a quick devotional you can read at the table and ask your family what they think about what you read (you have a captive audience-so why not use that time-this is what I did!).  It doesn’t have to be a theological discussion.  They probably don’t want that right then, anyhow!  They just want to interact with you and have you be present and engaged as a boyfriend, husband and father.  They want to hear you talk about God and inspire them to keep going after God.  Also, I have made it a practice to “eat the Bible” before I eat breakfast.  That means for me to simply meet with God before I do anything else (of course I brew my coffee-not brewing coffee could be the most “unspiritual” thing I do in the morning).  It’s finding a Scripture reading plan or a devotional book and a routine that works for you.  We are all different as men and so our spiritual routines will be different for everybody.  If you seek first the Kingdom of God (Matthew 6:33), all the other things come together for the day and give you strength to finish the day strong.

 

Five.  Grab the moment when you got it

With the fast-paced world we live in, take advantage of your family’s “life needs,” and pray at the moment. Spontaneous prayers are necessary in the hustle of the busy man.  These continuous short prayers can model the genuine and personable God we serve. I have found this to bring confidence, courage and consistency to my spiritual leadership. These are prayers in the moment. Prayers that “seek God first” before the issues come. These spontaneous prayers are short (30 seconds or so), they are unannounced (just pray out loud), and they involve touch (hold a hand, shoulder, hug, etc).  For example:

  • What if the girl of your dreams shared her heart with you, and after listening, you held her hand and, with no formal announcement, asked Jesus for His help and comfort (Hebrews 13:6).

  • Your daughter comes home distraught because of the “mean girl at school,” and you, without announcement and with eyes wide open, say, “Lord, comfort my daughter and be there for her. Provide her with friends who will build her up—not tear her down (Phillippians 4:19).

  • At the dinner table, your son tells the family that he was bullied at recess, and you immediately say to your family, “Let’s grab hands, pray, and ask God for wisdom” (James 1:5).

It might not feel that spiritual in moment but it is critical for the future.  You and your family are moving heaven, your girl is amazed because you are leading her closer to God and your kids are seeing you be the dad they never knew they had!

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5 Ways To Build A Strong Private Life To Sustain A Stronger Public Life

There is a sobering leadership principle every leader needs to know. Often we learn it the hard way, so I think it might be helpful if I prepare you for it – in case you don’t know. The fact is:



Who you are in your private life impacts who you are in your public life.

 

 

These two parts cannot be separated from each other.  There have been many who have tried to separate these two and keep them separated, but the result is watching their whole professional world come crashing down around them, because of something which was hidden in their private life.  Many of us can recall leaders who have been significant to us publicly, but their demise was their private life.  You can try to manage two identities – pretending in public everything is okay in private. And, it might work for a time…but it never works long-term. 

 

Good disciplines bring each day opportunity while bad disciplines bring each day adversity.

 

We all have a public life to our family, friends, co-workers, neighbors, social media followers, etc.    If we are to have an influence in these realms just mentioned, then your leadership comes with a platform.  There will be times you step on your platform and you will have the opportunity to make a difference with those around you.  Platforms are made for you to “step up.”  Some are bigger than others.  But they are made for you to be “elevated.”  To my introverted friends, don’t let that word scare you.  Sometimes that is a literal elevation as you step onto a stage.  But we have relational platforms that God gives us to inspire and influence those around us.   When you give your opinion, when you talk about your expertise, when you pray, when you encourage, when you talk about what’s in the Bible, when you reassure and when you give advice, you are being seen and heard by those around you.  And whether you want to believe it or not, you have an opportunity to influence; and that makes you a leader and leaders have a platform.  What I’m saying is, all of us have a public life that others are observing and being impacted by. 

 

And all of us have a private life…that we are impacted by.   This is the real you.  The collective whole of your thoughts, choices and values.  This is the real me.  It’s the “who you are when no one is looking” you.  UCLA Coach Wooden says, “The true test of a man’s character is what he does when no one is watching.”  We usually tend to be on our best behavior when others are listening and watching us.  But who we are when no one is watching and listening to us is where character comes in.  That’s why the value of living a consistent life of privately and publicly are critical.  Not just critical but inseparable.  Romans 2 gives us this sobering truth:

“That the day is coming when God, through Christ Jesus, will judge everyone’s secret life.” -Romans 2:16

It’s a medical impossibility to cut you in half and expect both of you to live.  You can’t be separated from yourself.  The private you and public you are forever joined together! And how you navigate these two areas are massively critical to your personal, professional, relational and spiritual success!

 



Who you really are will ultimately be discovered.  Jesus made that clear when He was speaking with His disciples,

 

 “For there is nothing hidden which will not be disclosed” – Jesus (Mark 4:22)

 

The only real, sustainable solution to having a successful public life is by continually working to protect and improve your private life. Your Inner world is not meant to disqualify you.  It’s always meant to define you.  The inventory of your personal mission, vision, values and virtues form the true you the world is waiting for.Character isn’t formed from options but from opposition (because we tend to take path of least resistance versus most resistance).  If it’s hard for you right now, that’s a good thing.  If this self-examination is hard then you are in the right place and the right time right now.  Here’s 

 

  

Here’s the big question for you and me: 

 

What in your private life has the potential to sabotage your public life? And, what are you going to do about it?

 

 

 

5 ways to build a private life to sustain a stronger public life:

 

 

 

 

 

 

ONE.  If you don’t believe it privately, they won’t believe you publicly.

 

Conviction is everything.  That’s why defining your values matter when creating a strong private life.  You will always make decisions based on what you value most.  When you identify your values, you identify your choices.  If you privately value honesty, then you will publicly choose to not lie.  If you privately value respect, then you will publicly choose to esteem those over you, etc.  What you value shows me what you believe.  What you find worthless you will ignore it. Make a list of what you personally value and use these values as guiderails in your decision-making. 

 

Discover your virtues.  Your virtues are what you find morally excellent and what you would celebrate as an admirable quality in a person.  Make a list of people in your life who have virtues that you would describe as a “good quality human being.”  Then write down what is it in them that put them on their list.  Those qualities are also virtues you are not only drawn to but are in some way important to you. 

 

At the center of the crossroads of your virtues and values is your convictions.  In the center of your passion about it and your actions towards it are your convictions because of it.  Your conviction will always be the evidence of what you really believe.  Use these convictions as guiderails to live a consistent life and be the example God is calling you to be.

 

“Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity.”  1 Timothy 4:12

 

 

 

 

TWO.  Your reputation is who you are in the presence of others but your character is who you are in the presence of God

 

We put a lot of emphasis on our reputations. Why? Because we all have one.  Your reputation is the beliefs or opinions that are generally held about someone or something.  There is a public opinion about you whether you believe it or not.  And unfortunately, we care about that opinion. We care about what others think. It’s human nature so you’re not alone when you feel the pressure of what others think about you.  


Secret devotion is rewarded in the open.


 

We can easily go to Jesus and look at people thought about his reputation. Jesus had a reputation to some that He was part of the family of Mary and Joseph, a rabbi and the Savior of the world.  To others, He was a false prophet, a liar and a friend of sinners.  Jesus chose to make Himself of no reputation.  See below, 

 

“[Jesus] made Himself of no reputation, taking the form of a bondservant, and coming in the likeness of men. And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself and became obedient to the point of death, even the death of the cross.”  Philippians 2:7-8 NKJV

 

When it comes to reputation, He chose to not allow what others thought about Him to control Him.  That’s why Jesus did something that we can all do as we are learning to align our public and private life: He valued what God thought about Him and His ministry more than what the others thought about Him and His ministry.  In the midst of an itinerary going from city to city speaking, feeding the homeless and less fortunate, caring for family and friends, He chose to value the presence of God more than the value of the presence of others. We are reminded of the instances when the disciples were looking for Jesus so He could step onto his platform and be the leader, be the communicator, be the bringer of ideas, be the leader, etc.  But when they were looking for Him, He wasn’t to be found.  He was with God.  It says in the Bible, 

 

 



‘Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed.  Simon and his companions went to look for him, and when they found him, they exclaimed: “Everyone is looking for you!” 

Mark 1:35-37

 

 

 

 Jesus gave priority to his private life by valuing the presence of God more than the presence of others.

 Jesus gave priority to his private life by valuing the presence of God more than the presence of others. An indicator of building a strong public and private life is having a quality prayer life. Get alone with God. The needs of the people around you will always be there.  Those closest to you will always want you close to them.  The demands of the busy life will always beckon to you.  But Jesus understood that the pressures, the opinions, the harassment, the needs and the mission were dependent on aligning his private life with God.     

 

 

  

THREE.  There will come a point when God’s private intention for you moves to God’s public recognition of you 

 

There is an intense intentionality to your private life that God values. And I’ve come to realize before there is a public recognition of you there’s always a private intention by God to make you into who you’re supposed to be. The intentionality that God is giving to your life can seem like there’s no intentionality to it at all.  As a matter of fact, it can feel like it’s random that is happening to your life than reason.  But it’s the times when we have it the hardest, when God is speaking the loudest.  Or when we are in the obscure and seen less, that God is with us the most and is doing His best work in us and through us. 


You don’t have to be the casualty of your circumstances but instead, be the creator of your circumstances. 

 

The battles to overcome seem to be the battle of the mind and the heart. David battled bears and lions in private.  In the field alone.  The ferocious and fiercest battles we face will be the ones we face by ourselves.  When no one is home, when you are away, when no one is looking and when no one is there to help.  These wrestling matches bear the scars of these ferocious battles that sunk their teeth into your soul.  You asked for help and it didn’t come.  You prayed to God to take away the wild beast the seemed to circle you and that was planning to pounce at just the right moment only to find that your prayers didn’t seem to be answered.  You fought anyway.  You battled anyhow.  And you have the scars to prove it.  But while you ponder and ask the question of why I had to battle alone, you realize now, that those scars and those victories were necessary.  Because when you face the giant in front of you in front of others, you are reminded of what you learned in secret, alone with no one there to help you:  God helped me defeat these beasts when I was by myself, surely I can face this giant in public. 

 

34 “David replied to Saul, “Your servant has been a shepherd for his father’s flock. Whenever a lion or bear would come and carry off a sheep from the flock, 35 I would go out after it, strike it down, and rescue the sheep from its mouth. If it rose up against me, I would grab it by its jaw, strike it, and kill it. 36 Your servant has struck down both the lion and the bear. This uncircumcised Philistine will be just like one of them. For he has defied the armies of the living God!” 37 David went on to say, “The Lord who delivered me from the lion and the bear will also deliver me from the hand of this Philistine!”  - 1 Samuel 17:34-37

 

 

David’s platform was in front of Israel.  And when he faced the pressure of fighting the giant in public, he remained standing while Saul crumbled under the weight of it. The result was a platform that echoed, “Saul slayed his thousands and David his tens of thousands!” (I Samuel 18:7).  Slaying giants in front of others could only be accomplished by fighting bears and lions alone.  The battles you face in private gives you the strength to win in public.  

 

 

 

FOUR.  Secret devotion is rewarded in the open

Jesus said in Matthew 6:6, “But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen.  And your Father who sees in secret will reward you openly.” The purpose you give to your prayer life, your quiet time and your devotional life has an outward effect on your public life.  Being by yourself with God has an effect on your inner man like nothing else can.  The more secure you are with God the less insecure you are with people.  So, get comfortable with your creator.  Find that place with God not because you “have to” but because you “get to” be with the one who loves you most.  

 

 

The word “closet” that Jesus uses in Matthew 6:6, tameion, is defined as a “secret chamber”, a place where a person may retire for privacy, or a place for storage (like a closet). These concepts unmistakably emphasize that this place should be private and cut off from the comings and goings of the household. It should be a place where the world can be shut out. And in a hyper-connected world, the need for a place that is “cut off” has never been more relevant.  Because privacy fosters honesty, and honesty fosters relationship.

 

Goals are good at revealing designations but habits re best at giving direction.

 

In this part of the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus is talking about outward righteousness and inner righteousness. He speaks of how the Pharisees pray out loud, in public, so that people will see their “spiritual awesomeness” and be impressed. Jesus says that “they already have their reward” (Matthew 6:5), meaning that praise from men is all they will receive for this action. Jesus, in contrast teaches his followers to “go into their closet” to pray, so that they will receive no praise from people. If no praise is received from people, then our reward is from the Father instead – a much better reward! Your secret devotion removes the “trying to impress” element with others, working the room to “schmooz” and positioning yourself at the table to be noticed by the right people.  When you begin caring more about what others think about you, you end up caring less about what God thinks about you.  IN the Secret place, the only one that notices you is God.  The only voice that you need to hear is God’s.  And that’s all that matters.  

 

 

Five. Collect an arsenal of habits

Leaders have platforms because they have fought to get there.  These kings and queens frequent the blacksmith shop of their own kingdoms where they’ve been forging and sharpening into strength in the heat and in the smoke of the fires of their own public pressures collecting weaponry to add to their own leadership arsenal.  Because the time will come when the enemy of your private life will attack you, your values, your relationships and your future and you need these weapons to stop this adversary dead in its tracks.  This collection of protection and security that you have at your disposal is this:  your habits.  Becoming the best version of yourself in your public life requires you to be continuously refining your private life.  And the best way to do that is with your own personal disciplines.  You don’t have to be the casualty of your circumstances but instead, be the creator of your circumstances. 

 

 

Your habits matter because they help you become the type of person you hope to become.  They are guiderails to your private life to help you develop the deepest beliefs and convictions about yourself. Here’s the point, you become your habits. These disciplines become who you are; they become your identity.  James Clear from Atomic Habits, puts it this way, 

 

“The ultimate form of intrinsic motivation is when a habit becomes part of your identity. It’s one thing to say I’m the type of person who wants this. It’s something very different to say I’m the type of person who is this.”   -James Clear

 

Obviously, it goes without saying, that the more positive disciplines you develop, the easier it becomes for you to do the right thing. Because when your behavior lines up with your identity, you stop trying to become the person you wish you were, and you start acting like the person you believe you are.

  

Goals are good at revealing destination but habits are good at giving direction. If you are the sum total of the 5 people you spend the most time with, you are also the sum total of the 5 habits you spend the most time doing. Good disciplines bring each day an opportunity while bad disciplines bring each day adversity.  Every good habit you start and keep is a small move towards the person you hope to become.  A very miniscule changes in direction leads to a very meaningful change in destination.  It’s not one single instance but these daily choices will continue to move you closer and closer to becoming who you know you are. 

 

No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it. 1 Corinthians 10:13

 

Any thoughts you have?

 

 

Comment

How To Live Less Emotional and More Truthful

My son and I were on the edge of the river bank on the St Croix.  We decided to yell out the first thing that came to our minds.   While my son yelled, “Go Vikings!” … I yelled “Dad’s awesome!” I suppose I could’ve yelled, “Jesus Saves” but apparently I was way to impressed with my hiking skills and leading my son to a breathtaking moment he will cherish for the rest of his life (he doesn’t even remember this memory…I asked him).  My point:  what you say (or scream on a river bank) literally impacts what’s around you.  Literally.

Here’s what I mean… 

 

Take for example an echo.  An echo is made by a sound being bounced on a solid. Sound can be reflected and refracted (or bent) when it collides with something. You then hear the sound repeating itself, getting fainter and fainter and it repeats as it’s bouncing off other objects in its path. Those words my son and I spoke on the banks of the St Croix, left our lips and was heard by and hit.   The sound waves that came from what we were saying (or screaming) have real results.  What we say has an impact.  Our words matter. 

 

 

We release sounds. More importantly we release words. Words are used to communicate. Words can build people up or tear people down. Words can divide or they can unite. If you have been around the leadership spheres, you have heard this phrase:

 

 

 

Words create worlds.

 

 

 

What we say about ourselves, about others and our organizations create the culture that are living in and leading from.  Your words create your conditions.  Your vernacular creates your environment.  As a communicator for a living, I have to listen to what I am saying so that I am creating a community that is lifegiving and not self-defeating.  As a theologian, I have to be aware of my words and what I am sharing with others because inaccuracy in what I am saying should be corrected.  We do have a responsibility to listen to what is being said and challenge what is being said around us.  To be listening to phrases that culture grabs on to and won’t let go of. 

 

 

In 2018, Oprah Winfrey received a lifetime achievement award in the 75th Golden Globe Awards.  Many people look up to Oprah.  She is a shining example of success and a very powerful woman.  She is an icon for many women who hope to achieve greatness and become powerful themselves. When she speaks about what is a “powerful too”l in her toolbox, many are all ears.  In her acceptance speech, she made these comments, 

 

 

“What I know for sure is that speaking your truth is the most powerful tool we all have…” 

-Ophrah

 

 

 

The most powerful tool we have is speaking … your truth. Don’t get me wrong, we love Oprah.  After all, she is “America’s life coach.”   But even Oprah can get it wrong.  Let me be blunt…DID getting it wrong.  The “echo” of Oprah’s words are reverberating through the culture: the most powerful tool you have is “my truth.”

Maybe you have already heard or seen those phrases in our culture: “That is my truth,” or “know your truth.”  That phrase has been since repeated by many and is used to justify a lot of feelings, beliefs and ideas that aren’t helpful and in many instances are even more hurtful and harmful to others.  As Christians, this phrase is one we cannot keep perpetuating.  It seems to be one of those phrases that has caught on, one of those phrases that people use without even knowing why they are using it. 

During a time in culture when being tolerant and understanding with others is expected, it feels uncomfortable to say “don’t speak your truth.’”  It seems unacceptable to have me question this cultural phrase of “speak your truth to power.”  After all, if this is my truth, shouldn’t I be able to speak “my truth?” I am writing this to say that this phrase that seems to make sense and that is very personal to say, believe and use is actually … NOT TRUTH.  

 

 

This begs the question:  

 

 

What is truth?  

 

 

In the Bible, Pontius Pilate, asked the question, “What is truth?” (John 18:38). Pontius Pilate was the Roman governor of Judea from A.D. 26-36, serving under Emperor Tiberius. He is most known for his involvement in condemning Jesus to death on a cross.  Pontius Pilate is not a fictitious character in the Bible.  But is mentioned by Tacitus, Philo, and Josephus who were famous historians outside of the Bible. Not only that, the “Pilate Stone,” discovered in 1961 and dated c. A.D. 30, includes a description of Pontius Pilate and mentions him as “prefect” of Judea. 

 

 Pilate and Jesus come face to face with each other…and with the idea of truth in their modern world.  The Gospel of John offers some more detail of this discussion, Jesus’ trial, including the conversation between Pilate and Jesus. Jesus acknowledges Himself not just as a king but who also claims to speak directly for the truth,

 

36Jesus answered, “My Kingdom is not an earthly kingdom. If it were, my followers would fight to keep me from being handed over to the Jewish leaders. But my Kingdom is not of this world.”

37Pilate said, “So you are a king?”

Jesus responded, “You say I am a king. Actually, I was born and came into the world to testify to the truth. All who love the truth recognize that what I say is true.”

38“What is truth?” Pilate asked. John 18:38. 

 

 

Pilate responded with the famous question, “What is truth?”  Jesus confirmed it many times through out Scripture and most importantly with His famous words found in John 14:6,

 

“I am the Way, the Truth and the Life.  No one comes to the Father except through Me.”  -John 14:6

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Bible is the truth.  Jesus always spoke the truth.  And they both continually tell the truth about God, about man and about evil. As Christians, we are meant to communicate the truth of Jesus Christ to a hurting and broken world.  And not just a world in chaos, but a world under the influence of a personal enemy that is constantly affecting us, hurting us and lying to us.  If the opposite of truth is a lie, and Jesus is the source of truth, then it seems to make sense that there is a source of lies as well.

 

 

There is an enemy that stands in opposition to our souls. This enemy is named in the Scriptures as the devil. The devil is known for a lot of things and named a lot of things in the bible:  the enemy (Matthew 13:39); satan (Revelation 12:9;20:2); Devil (Matthew 4:1, 5, 8, 11, 9:32); the accuser (Revelation 12:10); one name that speaks to this context that stands out the most is the name: “the father of lies” (John 8:44).  

 

 

A quick study on the devil reveals to us that he was originally called Lucifer, a reference that occurs only in Isaiah 14:12. Lucifer can that means "morning star.”  Lucifer, before receiving one of the many names listed above  (e.g. devil), was one of several created spirit beings in a class of angels known as Cherubim (Ezekiel 28:14). His initial responsibility was to cover God’s thrown. When Lucifer rebelled against his Creator, God rejected him and cast him from heaven (Isaiah 12:12-15).  An angel that was once, one of the most beautiful and honored in heaven becomes one of the most ugly and dishonored.  Then God then makes man who is one of God’s premier creations and makes them to rule over everything:

 

what are mere mortals that you should think about them,
    human beings that you should care for them?
Yet you made them only a little lower than God
    and crowned them with glory and honor.
You gave them charge of everything you made,
    putting all things under their authority—  Psalm 8:4-6

 

Instead, giving man exactly what the devil wanted:  power and authority

 

 

And this very enemy, and all of his legions of fallen angels (1/3 were cast out of heaven who joined Lucifer in this rebellion interpreted in Revelation 12:4) will do anything to bring as many of humankind with him. 

 

Why am I expounding on this story specifically?  Because Lucifer is named by God in the Bible as the father of lies. Because the greatest threat to the truth of Salvation and and our eternity with Jesus is the lies of the enemy.  The first time that man had to make a choice between God’s truth and the devil’s lie, he believed a lie instead of the truth. When Adam and Eve rejected God’s truth and accepted the devil’s lie, that was the moment that all the troubles of the whole world began. 

 

You have the same option.

 

When you are faced with a decision, to make a judgment call, to decide on a moral dilemma, you have the same ultimatum to discover:  is this a truth or lie?  Siding with truth will always confirm Jesus will and future for your life.  Our sinful nature often sides with the devil’s lie instead of God’s truth, because we are sinners. We’d rather believe the devil’s lie than God’s truth. But Jesus wasn’t afraid to call Satan what he is: a liar and the father of lies. Jesus said,

 

 “There is no truth in him. When he speaks a lie, he speaks from his own resources, for he is a liar and the father of it” (John 8:44).

 

Again, if the opposite of truth is a “lie” then it makes sense that if Jesus is the ultimate truthteller then the devil is the ultimate “lie carrier.”  This begs the question:  in a world of opinions, fake news and deception from both the natural and supernatural realm, what is truth?

 

Jesus said, “You shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free” (John 8:32). He said, “I am … the truth.”  Jesus did not say, “You shall know a truth” or “any truth” but “the truth.” He’s the embodiment of all truth. Jesus said, “If you do not believe that I am He, you will die in your sins” (John 8:24). If you don’t believe that and don’t accept Christ, the truth is that you will die in your sins and you’ll be lost. Jesus Christ claimed to be ultimate truth. In a world that is adopting the idea that we are free to believe, speak and live from “my truth”, are we open enough to believe differently and be willing to face the truth?

 

 

 

Three Ways to Life Less Emotional and More Truthful:

 

Decipher the Difference Between Truth and Opinion

Truth is a powerful concept. When you hold a belief as a truth it can be a source of strength, motivation, even comfort.  But there is a difference between truth and opinion.  Here are a few:  

 

+ Truth refers to something that can be verified vs opinions refer to judgements or beliefs about something

 

+ Truth is shown with unbiased words vs opinions are expressed with bias words

 

 + Truth is objective reality vs opinion is a subjective statement

 

 + Truth is universal but opinion differs from person to person

 

 

 

While, there are multiple ways to express the truth, but there is still one truth. Declaring something as “my truth” gives the inaccurate and unhelpful perception that truth is changing, that truth is not a constant and inevitable reality we must respond to. It does not help people but hurts them as we are left without anything consistent or trustworthy on which to stand.  

 

For example we build our whole mathematical system on the fact that 2 + 2 = 4.  We may want it to be more, feel it should be more but it will never, ever equal 5.  Just because I insist something is true for me or “my truth,” does not mean it is “the truth.” There have been plenty times in my life when I have believed something as true for me but it was not actually true.  There was once a time when I was emphatic that Santa Claus was real. No matter how much I was sure this jolly, saint was sneaking into my house with presents, there came the reality when I was in 5thgrade (I was a late believer) that my parents finally told me the truth (even though I told the guys at my lunch table that they were lying to me.  There was “no way” that my parents were actually Santa Clause. I mean sure my dad was overweight but to have the superpower of making animals fly and travel at 5, 083,000 mph to ensure presents delivered by morning was not just crazy…it was a dream come true. My parents are super heros.  Awesome!

 

No matter how much I believed Santa was the one putting a few presents under the tree for my brother and I, it was always “my truth” it was never “the truth.” 

 

 

Start desiring God’s truth instead of designing our own

The desire to hold to “my truth” is not a new desire. Like Adam and Eve in the Garden, we can insist it is our right to eat from the tree of knowledge of good and evil.  We have the mental capacity as grown men and women to decide what is right and good and what is not. But by doing so, we place ourselves in the position of defining truth. We are not the creators of truth, and we should not act (or speak) as if we are. As Christians we believe that He is the true. And as Christians we must be consumed with Him and His truth and not our own.

Even hearing the world “half-truth” is an interesting word we have created in our culture. It’s a word that we have designed. A half truth is “a statement that is only partly true, especially one intended to deceive, evade blame, or the like; a statement that fails to divulge the whole truth.” A half of a truth is like watching 1/2 a movie and leaving in the middle. I think films are modern day parables. I think the movie theater is on many occasions the modern day “stained glass window” telling us stories about forgiveness, redemption and love (with of course some great CGI and amazing fight scene choreography). But what I hate is leaving a film in the middle. I have NEVER done it. Even it it’s a bad film. I can’t leave and walk out in the middle of it. I can’t. I have to know what happens. Because I don’t like the thought of imagining what could have happened to the character when all I had to do was stay another 35 minutes. What you think the ending should be.

 

 

What I love about being a Christian is that I don’t have the pressure or the confusion to build my life on “my truth.”  This gives me freedom!  I am free from the stress of trying to make my purpose.  I am free from trying to figure out what happens after I die.  I am free from constructing my own fragile reality when God has shown me what real life is like through the lens of Scripture.  I am free from figuring out what my future could be with my own limited knowledge and understanding when all I have to do is surrender and trust a God who knows every day of life before I ever lived it (Psalm 139:16).

 

 

 

Stop Living According to How You Feel Because It’s Not Always Truthful

Facts and feelings are at odds on a regular basis.  But feelings can’t be the driving force behind our decisions, our actions and our beliefs. Reshaping your life around your feelings will result in a fragile life that can switch direction on a dime (if it’s raining, if your computer crashes or if you stayed up too late on the weekend). Life was never meant to be built on the fragility of emotions.  Because how you feel is not always how you are or who you are If my feelings line up to what the truth of my situation…then those moments are treasured. But we have to be mature enough to differentiate when my feelings aren’t in alignment. True life is meant to be lived by embracing the truth (even when it’s uncomfortable and doesn’t feel good), God’s truth helps us to understand the complex reality of the world we live in which is essential to functioning as a human.  

 

   

Feelings come across so genuine. Feelings usually feel so authentic. Feelings are so strong and they get us so emotional. They are so vivid. They seem so tangible. They seem to validate who I am and what I am doing, which makes them easy to trust.

But they are also misleading.

There are days and seasons when you feel like you love your spouse and then there are days when you don’t feel it, because life happens. You have to clean the house, you have to go to work, you have to change a diaper, you have to pay bills, you have to get up early or you are running late, you are short-tempered, you haven’t seen each other in a few days … and the grind wears on you.

Ask me if I love my wife like I did on our wedding day when we are in the middle of a fight, the answer would be “not feeling it.” But ask me if she is the love of my life on our anniversary and I would say “YES!” before you can finish the question.  But here’s the truth:  we are legally married and have been for over 22 years.  Even when I don’t feel like we are married, we are!  The truth is I have a legal obligation to my wife, my kids, my whole family. I chose Heidi when I feel like it and I choose her during the times when I don’t. I will always choose her because the truth is: we are husband and wife till death do us part.  I can’t let my feelings dictate my marriage, instead I let the truth of what a marriage covenant is remind me and compel me to live this truth every day.  I can’t fall out of love with her because I never stumbled into it. The truth is, we chose each other to love each other the rest of our days.   My emotions don’t disqualify my marriage when it’s tough, but my emotions do affirm my marriage when we are close.

The struggle for The New Young Christian is just because you I feel it’s right, it must be true.

That’s emotional living.  Emotional living doesn’t tell the truth. Emotional living wants your emotions to speak first and then let truth back up what you’re feeling. Living by the truth of Jesus inspires you to rely on Scripture to confirm and affirm the truth of any and all situations. Emotional living leads you to believe that the only tangible and reliable evidence of truth is your tears, your joy, etc. Just because you I feel it strongly confirms this must be my reality. Living according to the truth means understanding that what you feel right now is not always what is actual.

 

 

Paul was a theologian in his day who cared deeply about sharing the truth of Jehovah. He held onto it so tightly and believed so much in preserving his “theological point of view” that Paul would say, 

Believe in “my truth” or be killed. The choice is yours.  

 

To be exact, Paul said in Acts 22:4

 

“I persecuted the followers of this Way to their death, arresting both men and women and throwing them into prison…”



Another case of being sincerely wrong.  

 

Paul came face to face with Jesus and exchanged “my truth” for “the truth” that Jesus died and was resurrected. Paul became a carrier of that truth.  That that truth became “my gospel” in the Scriptures:

 

 

If there is an argument to be made for having “my truth” then let it be found in being declared as “my Gospel.”   2 Timothy 2:8 the Paul calls the good news of Jesus “my gospel”: 

 

 “Remember Jesus Christ, raised from the dead, descended from David. This is my gospel” – 2 Timothy 2:8

 

 

He was personally impacted by the gospel.  The Gospel or the “Good News” of Jesus Christ saving him from His sins, was carried deeply and held tightly by Paul to the end of his life.  But unlike “my truth,” the phrase “my gospel” was not a phrase about Paul’s ability or his self-reliance. He was not declaring a path for himself.   He was not differentiating himself from others as if there was one gospel for him and another for someone else (see Galatians 1). Contrastingly, Paul viewed himself as a fragile jar of clay holding the real treasure – the Good News of Jesus (2 Corinthians 4:7).  Which is how we must view ourselves – fragile and dependent on Jesus and “the truth” which is more liberating than the pressure to discover and declare “my truth.” Let’s silence the echo of the fake truths in our lives and shout from the top of our lungs the Good News of a good God who has a good future for us all. Because that’s the truth!

Anything you would add?

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Creating a Life-giving Community That You Will Love

What you surround yourself with matters. Who you surround yourself is important. As humans we are expected to grow: physically, emotionally, spiritually, intellectually, etc. Just like seeds that need good soil, we need good environments to grow in.

Jesus was clear that unless a seed is buried in the ground and sprouts and grows, it is nothing more than just a singular, granular lifeless entity that has no significance that produces nothing (John 12:24) -like that random penny you find in your couch which you look at and think "I guess it's got potential but by itself this penny can't do anything for me by itself sitting next to a bobby pin and a forgotten lego. Seeds need soil. Period. Jesus loves soil. Period. Jesus spent more time talking about soil than seed which means a healthy environment, surroundings and culture is more important than you think.

Our soil (dirt, y'all) is powerful. Soil sustains life by helping seeds become plants. Soil provides food, water and air that is needed by plants to grow. The healthier the soil, the more nutrients a plant can soak up. The healthier the plant, the better the fruit. In our natural world, the quality of the soil ultimately affects the health of people and animals.



If you want authenticity…you have to go first. That’s not easy. When I am meeting someone, I like to ask questions of them because when people talk about themselves they walk away having a more meaningful experience with you. That’s easy part and the first part. Once you realize you have a connection, it’s important to make that connection authentic and that happens when you choose to “give them the gift of going second” as you are the first to “open up.” So as a creator of connection, builder of community, a leader of leaders, you have to take that initiative.



Authenticity dismantles who others want you to be and enhances who you’re supposed to be.


Community without that natural chemistry is forced, mildly boring and lacks energy. So as the one “reading this post” you now have the responsibility to cultivate authenticity with your relationships. You are charged with helping others tear down their walls, to lower the drawbridge and to let others in. You can be a castle that’s closed or you can be a greenhouse that grows. Authenticity grows you to becoming a better Christian…a better human being.

So the question to ask your community is this: Is this a safe place for me tobe myself? Because the most authentic you is the you others are longing for and what God is waiting for…. Authenticity dismantles who others want you to be and enhances who you're supposed to be. So be vulnerable. Vulnerability says I accept you before you accept me. Authenticity starts when you become vulnerable in your relationships. When you choose vulnerability you choose community.

So stop self-protecting.


Allowing ourselves to truly experience our emotions is a beautiful thing and is the first step toward becoming a well-rounded and emotionally balanced person. It’s hard for people to see what a complete mess underneath while at the same time showing my cool exterior. But as I got older, I realized that being transparent with the people I care about is a true joy that many miss out. Instead of the freedom to be ourselves, we instead try to re-adjust ourselves according to who we think people want us to be.


Here’s why this is wrong: Everyone is deserving of unconditional love. This is the love of God so we need this, it’s the kind of love that we were made to contain. When we hide the things about ourselves we deem “undesirable,” we’re building shaky relationships that eventually collapse because they are build on a façade and not a foundation.

Authenticity dismantles who others want you to be and enhances who you’re supposed to be.

That’s why authenticity is one of the greatest gifts you can give someone. Someone who is not authentic can still be a leader and connect but will not add value to our community. A person who connects and cares authentically adds value to their community by making a positive contribution. The biggest blockage to this authentic community is self-protection.


Are you building barriers of self-protection or creating communities of authenticity?


Here are a few thoughts to get you thinking:

Self-Protection is rooted in fear and results in hiding vs authenticity is rooted in vulnerability and results in originality 

Not everyone will like you. This was hard for me to realize because I thought I was a pretty likable dude. But that’s part of life I guess. But those who do like you will like you best when you are truly yourself. Sometimes we don’t’ want o to be caught being yourselves” because we fear others may not like what they see. So we chose to hide it from others until it’s “safe to reveal” the our true selves. That’s why sincerity and originality seam to go together. I live in MN and there’s nothing like walking on a freshly snowed sidewalk…not just hearing the crunch against the silent snowfall but walking and making prints of my own. Herman Melville says it this way,

“It’s better to fail in originality than succeed in imitation. –Herman Melville

Originality isn’t an option but an obligation. David couldn’t wear Saul’s armor so why are you modeling someone else’s? David learned that lesson. You be you and you do you. Because your community needs it.



Self protection controls situations vs authenticity celebrates people 

Fear is controlling. And fear can permeate a situation quickly. But it can be conquered by authenticity. When you are authentic, you are showing others who you are and that’s a good thing. When you become yourself in front of others you celebrate yourself for the benefit of others. Authenticity dismantles who others want you to be and enhances who you're supposed to be. And that takes courage. Courage is comes from the latin word Kerr which is where we get the word “heart.” Fear is overcome when the heart of the person is revealed ad to others. You can’t make everyone happy…that’s never been your job. But you can make people better. Imitating others makes you a copy of others around you but the real you makes others around you complete. Seth Godin says it like this,

“Because, while we're each unique, we have far more in common than we're comfortable admitting. Amplifying our differences may make us feel special, but it's not particularly useful when it comes to getting better. ... Being unique is a great way to hide from the change we need when someone offers us a better future. Learning from the patterns and the people who have come before, though, is the only way any of us advance. “-Seth Godin

True community requires authenticity. And you can’t express authenticity without others. So ask yourself…how can you leverage your nique qualities to add value to others in your community?


Self-Protection wastes emotional energy vs authenticity creates relational connectivity

Your iphone has only so much memory and your emotional capacity has only so much energy. When you pretend to be someone who “has it all together” or try to be “the charismatic one or popular one”, it drains you and and isn’t sustainable. Give yourself permission to be yourself and you will enjoy being yourself.

Spiritual growth is not only a mark of Christian life but a necessity of Christian life. If you are the same person you were last year at this time...then you have some spiritual "growing up" to do. Becoming more like Jesus is our mandate. Loving God and loving others is our marching orders. So why do we lack spiritual growth at times in our lives?

Community life is something that should be a "no-brainer" for Christians. Yet, it is always seems to be a challenge for churches. So here it is: you need others. Your origin story is found and bound in your relationship with God. Genesis 1:28 confirms this when God says, “let us make man in Our image.” God is confirming the truth that "this is US" is better than “this is me." Your tribe makes you stronger. Your friends make you better. Every word they say, every value the cultivate and the culture they create are influencing you. For the better and for the worse. Your community is shaping you whether you believe it or not. They are molding you whether you want them to or not. Show me your tribe and I'll show you you're trajectory. Show me your friends and I'll show you your future. Show me your community life and I'll show you your spiritual life.



How to tell the difference between someone giving you an opinion vs wisdom: opinions fuel judgement but wisdom fuels guidance.



Others are necessary for spiritual life to even exist. It’s hard for you to be seen and heard by GOD in your life when you are desperate to be seen and heard by OTHERS in your life. If your community is making it hard for you to be accepted...then a change of community will mean a change of spiritual growth for you. You need people for your spiritual life to exist. Not just anybody..but a community that is centered around the love of Christ. A community centered on the attributes of Jesus means it's a community that is practicing unconditional love, forgiveness, radical acceptance of those who are different, a heart for serving others, etc. Yet, it seems we choose to put more value on our "alone time." I understand we need time to chill and decompress but that should not be our normal. Someone recently said to me, "I only can get close to God when it's completely silent with no one around." I understand we need alone time with God but that was never meant to be our only time and place for an authentic encounter with God. God uses your community to speak from. For example, if you're not hearing from God like you used to be, check first to see how isolated you are because it's in community where God often speaks. God will use the prayers of people around you to release miracles in you. God will inspire the worship around you and to reveal who God is to you. God will use the Bible spoken from others to you to declare God is for you.




You can’t authentically encourage someone when your proud because it means you’re too focused on being better than that person than trying to better that person.


Maybe that's why God puts such a massive emphasis on covenant. And maybe we need to revisit that word again. The Bible uses the word "covenant" when speaking of the value of others in your life. Generally a covenant with someone means that you feel you need them because without them you feel lost because with this covenant we find ourselves connected to each other so that we can accomplish more. Without you I can't. Without you I won't. So we choose to enter into relationships that are not meant to be broken...this is a covenant. That's why in the Bible, covenants were sealed with an animal sacrifice to show the severity of our bond of "we don't give up on each other unless one of us dies." That's commitment. It's a commitment to say I need you. It's a commitment to say I need others in my life because I can be more and do more with you. It's not about needing the right people to help you accomplish something it's more about having the right people help you become something...becoming a stronger person in our faith, in your families and in our workplace.





Discover who God is and you discover who you are but bury God and you bury yourself.

We live in a society that defines us by our work and values us because of our accomplishments. That compels us to fall into the trap of doing more work and doing better work versus becoming a better person so my work can become better. Your job isn't walking down a "career path" but discovering who God made you to be and be the best version of you to others for 40+ hours a week. This is what your community should do...help you find yourself. The quality of your work will increase when the quality of your relationships increase. The right people surrounding you helps your perspective get better, your contentment stronger and your influence greater. Not only that, but your measure of success purer. Your definition of success changes from what I want to accomplish in life to who can I raise up in my life. True success in life is not measured by the number of promotions before me but the number of successors coming after me. Trust me, the older I get, the more it seems the most important thing I will accomplish will be who I raise up in life and not what I do in life.

3 Questions to ask yourself about your spiritual growth:

1.  Can you be yourself in your community?

No one can worship God like you or for you. Being yourself is what God is looking for and what the world is waiting for. If you can't be you, then you are robbing your community of the value you can bring and robbing God of an opportunity to show off his creative work. Remember, we are God's artwork, created in Christ, to do good works that God set up beforehand so we can walk in and "me do me and you do you." (Ephesians 2:10) Your community should be excavating and unearthing what God put in you before you were ever born (Jeremiah 1:5-7). Be in a community that pursues God and challenges you so pursue God. Discover who God is and you discover who you are but bury God and you bury yourself.

2.  How mature is your community?

Spiritual maturity is giving to God and others and not getting from God and others. Valuing others before they value you creates an environment for everyone to be included. Being the first to forgive than "waiting" for an apology is what your friends need from you. Cultivate being a vulnerable person because vulnerability says "I accept you before you accept me." Be teachable and stop resisting sound correction because they are calling things out of you because they care. God says it best here,

"And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ." Philippians 1:9-11

3.  Do you feel better when you are in your community?

The key to this is does your community encourage each other? To encourage someone means to "in-courage" or "put courage in" others. I've realized first-hand that you can't authentically encourage someone when your proud because it means you're too focused on being better than that person than trying to better that person. Condemnation is one of the worst things for a community. Shame keeps you and everyone in your community from moving forward. Jesus showed this to a community of pharisees when they were going to punish a woman who was in adultery. He didn't condemn her or shame her but spoke wisdom. Your community isn't free from those in it making bad decisions. Your relationships around you can give wisdom or give opinions. How to tell the difference between someone giving you an opinion vs wise counsel: opinions can fuel judgement but wisdom always fuels guidance.

Jesus understood being devoted to a community of people was enough to change the world so...how intentional are you with the community God has given you?

Any I'm missing?

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Making Your Life Less About Opinions and More About Convictions

Grateful for Rob Ketterling and allowing our pastoral team to preach this weekend at River Valley Church. I had a great time preaching about the power of the Word of God in a disciple’s life. As Christians we battle between faith and feelings, authority and apathy, obedience and convenience, etc. Particularly one contrast that is notable in most disciples is conviction versus opinion. Convictions are part of the Christian life. Jesus came to bring conviction to help us live and love as His followers (John 16:8). Opinions are part of a human beings life. So much information produces so much opinion about so many things. That’s why differentiating between conviction and opinion is so important.

Conviction is defined as a “strong persuasion or belief.” It’s the state of being convinced. It comes from the Latin word, “to conquer.” Contrast that to opinions. Webster’s says opinions, “lack certainty.” Put it in a metaphor: opinions are the scrawny guys in the gladiator ring of mind. They aren’t sure of their victory, have minimal weaponry and have no grit for the fight. Think Korg from Thor, “ I'm kind of like the leader in here. I'm made of rocks, as you can see. But don't let that intimidate you. You don't need to be afraid…

I'm kind of like the leader in here. I'm made of rocks, as you can see. But don't let that intimidate you. You don't need to be afraid…I tried to start a revolution... but I didn't print enough pamphlets so hardly anyone turned up. Except for my mum and her boyfriend….” Opinions are Korg’s in your brain. Convictions are conquering warriors in your brain. They have the weapons, the strength and the power to win the battle of the mind to help you make the decision necessary for your life to align with the life of Jesus. At the center of your values, passions and actions is conviction. Conviction gives you the strength to accomplish “the impossible” regardless of what others think. I guess you could say that conviction is the “muscle tissue” of your beliefs. Every fiber of your being is in alignment to the movement of your beliefs making. Opinion is the evidence of what they believe but conviction is the evidence of what YOU believe. Conviction transforms you from having a good idea to becoming a good example for others to follow. No matter where you find yourself in life, what changes people and the world around is your example and not your opinion. A disciple chooses to build their life on convictions instead of opinions.

The Difference Between Convictions and Opinions:

Opinions fuel judgement but convictions fuel guidance

That’s the difference between condemnation and conviction. Condemnation and shame will always tell you who you aren’t. Conviction will always tell you who you are. That’s why shame is a “counterfeit conviction.” Plain and simple. Shame remind you that “you aren’t enough” but Jesus always reminds us that “He is enough.” Condemnation says you are a bad person and attacks your identity and God’s identity. But conviction reminds you that you are still good (“a child of God”) and that God is good. Opinions can confuse identity but convictions always confirm identity. Choose to attach our identity to something that cannot be taken away. Connect your identity to something (your faith, your cause, your family, etc.) that can’t be stolen by others. Your identity should never depend on the opinion of another person alone. That’s why social media comments or popularity are not reliable or sustainable. I love that Mary chose the one thing that couldn't be taken from her and that was her connection to Jesus.

But only one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, and it will not be taken away from her." Luke 10:42

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Opinions cause you to drift but convictions anchor you to truth.

When your “convictions” change on a whim, people will begin to lose their trust in you. They’ll never know where you stand. That’s the great thing about convictions.They tell others what you believe and what you won’t tolerate. It’s also why convictions are crucial. By changing your convictions based on what others believe, you have a harder time standing firm. Doubts flood in and you have a difficult time making the hard choices in life. You seek answers from others, not because you’re looking for the right path but because you want the approval of others.

Convictions are like those bumps on the road when you are road tripping. The journey is long. The landscape begins to get boring. The scenery begins to all “look and feel the same.” You get bored. You get lazy. You get sleepy. When the journey is long, the scenery is dull and the destination is knowhere in sight, that’s when we drift. And suddenly, in the midst of your monotony, you hear that sound:


“VER-VER!”

“VER-VER!”

“VER-VER!”

“VER-VER!”

You are jolted away, get your bearings, adjust to your surroundings, get back into your lane and continue forward. Once drifting, lethargic and unconcerned, now attentive, awake and alive to get to where you need to go. Conviction is that “VER-VER” in your spirit that causes you to take notice of what is being said, heard and believed. It compels you to adjust your thoughts, insights and beliefs back onto the “narrow road” of faith that’s found in Jesus.

You can follow people’s opinion about your life or you can follow God’s direction for your life

It makes all the difference between surviving and thriving. CONVICTION will make you courageous and opinion will make you complacent. When you are complacent, you can become sedated enough to miss opportunities right in front of you. Convictions gives you the shot in the arm to wake up and see what’s in front of you so you don’t miss it. Like Redbox. When you spot a “Red Box” in your city, it becomes a cheap entertainment oasis in your neighborhood. Frequent trips to this cheap and convenient media hotspot is a gamechanger. But it could have been a “blue box.” Not red. Blockbuster was once one of the most well-recognized movie brands in the 90’s. At its peak back in 2004, the company consisted of approximately 60,000 employees and 9,000 stores that generated revenues of $5.9 billion.

Back in the year 2000 Reed Hastings, the founder of Netflix, approached former Blockbuster CEO John Antioco and asked for $50 million in return for the ownership of his company. Antioco however, viewed Netflix as a “very small niche business” and promptly ended the negotiations. Andy Stanley says vision is “a clear mental picture of what could be, fueled by the conviction that it should be.” Conviction helps you stay on track with the vision God is calling you to. Conviction gives you direction to choose what is valuable over what is comfortable. Blockbuster had man opinions: Netflix wasn’t valuable, Netflix was “just a dvd mailing service, Netflix wasn’t going to anywhere. The company now has a market value of $67 billion. In other words, opinions make you digress and convictions help you progress. Opinions make you digress but convictions help you progress. Don't let other people's opinions chip away at your confidence. They may not sabotage your confidence Right away but it will chip away at it. The young leader has to do their best to not be ruled by what other people think but instead be ruled by what God thinks. You'll get opinion from everywhere. THE OPINIONS OF WHAT OTHERS SAY ABOUT YOU IS NOT MATCH FOR THE MIND OF CHRIST IN YOU. That mind comes from confiding in God, trusting in God with your calling and your future. The danger is once something is chipped away at it enough, it has potential to be discarded. But God says this:

"Do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what He has promised (Hebrews 10:35-36)

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How To Live In and Navigate Through Outrage Culture - Part 2

 Engage with maturity don’t expel with immaturity  

It’s hard when we don’t get our own way.  My kids have taught me that.  They throw a tantrum, hit, throw and scream.  That’s what immaturity fosters.  Maturity provokes civility, conversation and peaceful discourse.  When we choose to riot, rebel and resist, it communicates a message to others that is immature.  God wants us to be mature as Christians.  Not just mature but “Christlike.” 

 

For God called you to do good, even if it means suffering, just as Christ suffered for you. He is your example, and you must follow in his steps. He never sinned, nor ever deceived anyone.

He did not retaliate when he was insulted, nor threaten revenge when he suffered. He left his case in the hands of God, who always judges fairly. 1 Peter 2:21-23

 

It’s tempting to bully behind your keyboard and tweetstorm.  But it would be far more valuable to donate your time, financial contributions or professional skill-sets to an organize your community (life group, small group, facebook group, book club, etc) and find where you can be a resource of information and a steward of conversation. Many people feel like they can’t get involved because they don’t know where to start. Just find a door of opportunity and start the conversation.

 

Instead of creating walls, create opportunities

Jesus chose to go into difficult places, not avoid them.  He was seen with the marginalized, the broken and the hurting.  He was a friend of drunks, sexual deviants, outcasts, etc.  He was more pro-woman than any political figure in history considering the context of the first century.  He was more “politically right” with his beliefs about Scripture, loving the religious, supporting the Roman military and leading with charity.  He also was more “liberal” with the way He chose to love:  Jesus fed the hungry, reached out cross-culturally, identified with the poor, loved the religious and fought for the outsider.  , etc.  He chose to live by breaking down walls.  When we break down walls and come together with those who are different than us, we show the world that we are His disciples and that Jesus is who He said He is (John 17).    

 

Live in the “in-between”  

We know a lot lately about not wanting to live in the “upside-down.”  But do you know about living in the “in-between.”  The in-between is that space between the extremes  of faith and politics.  Here’s what I mean.  Take Matthew and Simon.  These are two of Jesus disciples.   Jesus recruited Simon the zealot (essentially and anti-government, religious radical) to be on his team and Matthew (a pledged allegiance to the Roman government employee).  Jesus showed us all that two people on polar opposites of the political spectrum can live and love in community together.  We will always be surrounded by these two sides: those who “share my faith but don’t agree with my politics” and those who “share my political view but don’t agree with my faith.”  How you live in-between will determine how you honor. 

 

“Pump the breaks” on conditional honoring  

We are quick to dismiss others who don’t agree with our political views, parenting views, etc. We seem to have drifted into a conversational norm of “ I will respect you if you respect me but if we disagree then ‘screw you.’”  People are going to disagree with you.  Simply writing them off and calling them a name or putting a label on them doesn’t make us better as a community. Just because you don’t agree with them doesn’t mean they aren’t human.  God wants us to honor all people (1 Peter 2:17).  Honor is not emotional response but is meant to be a humble response.  Even Jesus who was being dishonord by everyone around him who was deserving of honor but received none, chose the higher road and we should too:

 

“Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too. You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had. Though he was God, he did not think of equality with God as something to cling to. Instead, he gave up his divine privileges; he took the humble position of a slave and was born as a human being, he humbled himself in obedience to God and died a criminal’s death on a cross. Therefore, God elevated him to the place of highest honor and gave him the name above all other names.” Philippians 2: 3-9

 

Submission to authorities not subversion of authorities

Imagine being forced to live under a political leadership you didn’t vote for and completely despised.  Some of us would say, “lived it for 8 years” and some would say “living it right now.”  In Daniel, four young and ambitious leaders found themselves living under and working under an administration that was different than what they believed in.  The administration was enforcing rules that was against the convictions these young people believed.  Rather than rebelling and resisting, these young people took a different approach:  they honored their leadership about the expectations, the rules and regulations they didn’t agree with: 

 

[Daniel] asked the chief of staff for permission not to eat these unacceptable foods. Now God had given the chief of staff both respect and affection for Daniel. …Whenever the king consulted them in any matter requiring wisdom and balanced judgment, he found them ten times more capable (Daniel 1:8-9, 20).

 

The result of responding the right way gave them more political and relational clout than they ever could have imagined.  Instead of just protesting and screaming at the sky, what if we chose to have rational discourse with those in charge over us?   We may have the right to protest, but is it the right thing to do right now in your disagreement? 

Put Yourself In Someone Else’s Shoes

Many of us don’t know what it’s like to be going through what they are going through.  We don’t knjow what happening behind the scenes.  So do your best to gain understanding.  That’s wisdom according to God: 

 

“The beginning of wisdom is: Acquire wisdom; And with all your acquiring, get understanding.” Proverbs 4:7

 

So try to understand where the other is coming from.  This will not only build a bridge but will help calm the waters as you empathize. 

 

 

Before You Say it, Pray it

I’m guilty of just speaking what I’m feeling.  Before you engage with someone or in something…give it some time in prayer.  It’s there you will get God’s heart for your situation and for that PERSON.  It’s a lot easier for you to see where they are coming from when you see how God sees them in prayer. 

 

It’s Not About Being Political but Being Gospel

Gospel means “good news.”  So be a bringer of “good news” not “bad news" or "fake news."  You can’t have the Gospel without grace.  We need the graciousness of God.  So be a gracious person.  Graciousness is one of the most potent postures you can make when engaging with others.  We believe graciousness overrules combativeness at the end of the day.  The Bible says this about graciousness,

 

“Let your conversation be gracious and attractive so that you will have the right response for everyone.”  Colossians 4:5-6 NLT

I would define graciousness as this:  having a forgiving attitude and a compassionate position while walking in wisdom with those whose attitudes and beliefs differ from yours.   So be gracious towards others than being defensive towards others.  

 

Gain Understanding

Conflict is rooted in not understanding where others around you are coming from.  So when a conflict arises, rather than trying to "gain understanding" we instead are trying to tell them "what's going on."  Stephen Covey speaks to this in 7 Habits of Highly Effective People when he says, "seek first to understand then to be understood."  So guard yourself against assuming because when you assume you cease to draw close because you "already know" their thoughts and motives and remain at a distance.  If you're going to assume something...assume the best about that person and not the worst!  When you believe the best about someone you can't help but draw closer and draw from them. 

 

 

Consider Others Better Than You

Remember … according to Jesus, everyone has equal value.  No human is better than another. That's a hard attitude to have and to be  consistent with.   But Jesus held true to that by having this attitude:  consider others better than you.  The Bible says it best in Philippians 2:3-6 in the Message:

 

“If you’ve gotten anything at all out of following Christ, if his love has made any difference in your life, if being in a community of the Spirit means anything to you, if you have a heart, if you care— then do me a favor: Agree with each other, love each other, be deep-spirited friends. Don’t push your way to the front; don’t sweet-talk your way to the top. Put yourself aside, and help others get ahead. Don’t be obsessed with getting your own advantage. Forget yourselves long enough to lend a helping hand. Think of yourselves the way Christ Jesus thought of himself. He had equal status with God but didn’t think so much of himself that he had to cling to the advantages of that status no matter what. Not at all. When the time came, he set aside the privileges.”  Philippians 2:3-6

 

Have Conversations Not Confrontations

We’ve seen enough confrontation to last us a lifetime.  So let’s start having conversations.  That means it is a two-sided dialogue.   So be a "potent listener."  Listening shows more power and grace than you can imagine. We have to listen in order to be listened to.  Which means don't come in to the argument simply telling me just what to think or what you think but ask me what I think.  How you say it is just as important as what you say.  Stop trying so hard to be “convincing” and start by being “inviting.”  Don’t see barriers but opportunities.  Choose to rally around themes that can do the most good:  love, honor, peace, humility, kindness, forgiveness and hope.  

 

Practice Peace-making

That means you need to be intentional to bring peace to people, places and discussions.  This is not a peace that is fabricated but a peace that is faith-related.  This is a peace that is not manipulated with the right substance or the right circumstance but a peace that is magnified as a person.  This is a supernatural peace, a Godly peace, that has nothing to do with human beings or human circumstances.  In fact it can’t be produced by anyone but it can be found by everyone .  This peace is a Person.  It’s Jesus.  He is called “the Prince of peace” and He crushed evil like no one else could (Romans 16:20).  So the closer you are to Jesus…the closer you are to peace.  Jesus doesn’t get stressed out, worry, or get afraid but lives in perfect contentment.  You can too.

 

Be a Good Neighbor

I know we already said it but we can’t say it enough:  Love God and love your neighbor as yourself.  True joy is NOT found in pursuing our own desires but fulfilling the desires of others.  So we choose to keep our doors open and our lives open as good neighbors to create a better community.  Acceptance is more palatable to culture than resistance so we choose to accept people where they are and influence people to where they could be in Jesus.  So we follow the advice of Jesus,

“Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works.”  Hebrews 10:24

 

At the end of the day, isn't it less about proving you're right or wrong and more about seeing others draw closer to the unconditional love of Jesus?

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How To Live In and Navigate Through Outrage Culture - Part 1

There is a rise of outrage today in culture.  Outrage is exhausting. It’s draining. Outrage takes psychological and physical a toll on us.  And yet at the same time culture can’t live without it. It becomes a kind of addiction. On some level people enjoy getting outraged. It makes the them feel that they’re on the right side. It helps them feel that they are bonding with others who have similar views. But when a group of people are continually in “outrage mode” it’s really very, very unhealthy and not just unhealthy but almost seems normal. What I’m talking about folks is the “outrage culture.” We live in a culture where anything you say is misconstrued and taken offensively to at least one person or group. And once that individual or group speaks out, the public mob is out to put your head on a pike. It’s eroding our interactions, our relationships and our society. 

 

Heather Wilhelm, in an article for the Chicago Tribune writes,

“For a frightening number of people, the art of being offended by everything — or, even better, loudly and publicly complaining about being offended by everything — is pursued with alarming dedication. For some, being offended is practically a credo and an all-encompassing way of life.”

 

There is a difference between participating in a culture of outrage and having firm convictions. Jesus calls Christians to respond differently to a hateful world, commanding us to refuse retaliation and instead extend grace to our enemies.   This is a different ethic than what we are used to.  But Jesus modeled it.  Jesus lived with a completely different set of standards. The Sermon on the Mount is perhaps the most famous portion of Scripture in the Bible. Specifically in the sermon on the mount, Jesus lays out a completely different manner of living for His disciples.  It’s a way of life that is counter-cultural to the world’s mentality and emotions. In his sermon on the mount, Jesus instructs his disciples on how to deal with a world that is antagonistic, that is unwelcoming, that is mean-spirited and that wants to take advantage of them.  And His simple instruction is this:  

 

 

Turn the other cheek.

 

 

Matthew writes,

“You have heard that it was said, ‘An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth.’ But I say to you, do not resist an evil person; but whoever slaps you on your right cheek, turn the other to him also. “If anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, let him have your coat also. Whoever forces you to go one mile, go with him two. Give to him who asks of you, and do not turn away from him who wants to borrow from you” (Matthew 5:38-42).

 

The Jewish law created equity with this “eye for an eye” ruling. But the purpose of the law was never to give license to inflict as much pain on someone as you thought they had inflicted upon you. Instead, Jesus calls his followers to a completely different standard in their personal dealings with others. The Jewish law was concerned with people’s actions. Jesus’ commands surpass a person’s actions and go far deeper…into the person’s heart.

 

 

 

Instead of using the law as an excuse for personal vengeance, Jesus commands those who are citizens of his kingdom to refuse retaliation when treated poorly. In an “outrage culture” sometimes silence can speak louder than yelling back.  Yelling back often places undeserved importance on the object of our outrage. Before long, our priorities can become of whack as those of the broader culture and we begin to believe our narrative of offense.  And the result is we spend our time fighting for the wrong things.

 

 

There are times to be furious.  You can be “angry and not sin” (Ephesians 4:26).  Probably one of the best examples of this is when Jesus flipped tables in the temple.  After making His triumphal entry into Jerusalem with crowds cheering and palm branches waving, Jesus "went into the temple and began to drive out those who bought and sold in it” (Luke 19:45-46). Was Jesus showing the first signs of “outrage culture?”  Hardly. It was righteous indignation. Why such a display of anger? Because the people engaged in temple commerce were keeping others from God. They had a “financial racket” going.   They were finding fault with the sacrificial animals the people brought in and then sold them an "approved" animal at an inflated price. And this made Jesus angry.  If you’re a normal human, that should make you angry.  As Christians, we should speak out against injustice, but there is a difference between speaking out against injustice and getting in a Twitter fight where two different camps of people belittle each other in order to try and prove their point.

 

Refusing to retaliate is not an excuse to be passive or avoid people. Jesus’ words are not a call to disengage. They are a command to go the extra mile instead. It was common under Roman occupation during Jesus’ day for soldiers to demand that citizens carry their pack. This is what Jesus had in mind when he told his followers to go that extra mile.

 

For this idea to have its full effect, we must remember Roman soldiers were part of an occupying authority. They were an oppressive political power, and one that many Jews were desiring to overthrow. In fact, several attempts had already been made in Jesus’ day to start a rebellion against the Romans. Jesus tells his disciples to do something countercultural concerning the opposing political party. Not only were they to submit to the request to carry the pack, they were to exceed the expected distance. Do not just do what is expected of you to fulfill the obligation, Jesus tells them, instead do something that can only be explained by a genuine love for the person doing you wrong.

Instead of returning insult for insult, go out of your way to return kindness instead. Instead of getting drawn into the outrage, let us live a better story. I’m fully aware that it’s not as easy as were saying.  It’s especially hard when we have those in charge over us but we don’t agree with them politically, socially, relationally, spiritually, etc. So, how do we honor those God has put over us when we don’t agree with them?  Here some suggestions: 

 

 

Stop labeling each other and start learning from each other

Christians can fall into the trap of dishonoring others whose political beliefs or ideas are different.  Left-leaning Christians engage in rhetoric that labels our right-leaning authorities as anti-poor, anti-woman, anti-immigrant and so on.  Right-leaning Christians can label our democratic friends on the left as anti-capitalist, anti-white, anti-baby, anti-cop, etc.   What if we labeled each other as human beings?  What if we saw each other as creations of God?  Those labels give us a starting point to engage with others that isn’t political but personal to God.  They give us permission to accept each other despite our political positions so we can listen to each other rather than scream at each other.  Pursue the right perspective of each other before pursuing the right to push back against each other.  Your perspective of who you are is the best starting point to engage others where they are at.

 

Being disagreeable doesn’t mean being dishonorable 

When the actions of your leadership disagrees with your view of what leadership is, you have a choice to make.  Young David, an up-and-coming leader became successful and did everything right with those around him.  Even with those who were in authority over him.  King Saul, a political and spiritual leader that David reported to, chose to be irrational and dysfunctional.  To the point of wanting to kill David.  How would you honor a man who relentlessly sought to kill you? David had an understanding of the authority.  That God puts kings in charge and he knew that God had established making Saul king (1 Sam. 9:15-16). While Saul was his political leader, David’s honor for Saul was seen through is “honor lens” every day.  Every response by David towards Saul’s rants and ravages revealed to others how not only how much David loved God by how much he honored.  David spared Saul's life in the cave (1 Sam. 24:4-22) and again on the field of war while Saul was sleeping (1 Sam. 26:1-12) until finally this irrational ruler was defeated in battle and fell upon his own sword.  David not only grieved his death, prayed and fasted but wrote a song about his fallen leadership (2 Sam. 1:17-27). Instead of recounting all of Saul's weaknesses, the song he wrote actually recounted his honor.  Whenever possible, show respect for those in charge no matter how crazy they can sound (and maybe even write a song about them). 

 

 

Part 2 is next…

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3 Ideas For Better Messaging About Jesus

I drove by a church with a billboard that said, “Discover the bread of life or you’re toast.”

While that was funny to me as a Christian…It’s a threat to my friends who aren’t. If you don’t live a particular way, you will be punished, and harshly punished, probably in a fiery pit of damnation and pain. For eternity. But the church just made fun of it. The church just made a joke about the eternity of our friends and neighbors who don’t know Jesus.

I understand that the church doesn’t laugh enough. We should laugh more. We need laugh at ourselves sometimes (Thank you John Crist). While these messages are clever, it just doesn’t make sense that these are used as messaging outside of the church. Its quippy, funny and great for a bumper sticker next to your Jesus fish. But is that what we want other to view Christianity as? It seems to dilute the sincerity and the authenticity of a God who loves and a faith that’s powerful!

Here are some other examples of what we’ll call “billboard evangelism”:  

  • “Turn or burn.”

  • “Stop, drop, and roll doesn’t work in hell.”

  • “There’s no air conditioning in hell.”

  • “Are you against Jesus?  There will be hell to pay.”

  • “If you think it’s hot in the summer, imagine hell.”

There are numerous issues with these types of phrases. The first is how they use church speak to try and reach a population who has no idea how to read church speak. If you were raised in church, you understand the image of Jesus as the bread of life because you have most certainly heard many sermons and pre-communion monologues that discuss this idea. On a billboard, describing Jesus as the “bread of life” removes it from that context and strips it of its meaning, impact and gravitas. It’s like trying to speak to someone in a language they don’t understand. It’s called speaking Christianese and odds are “outsiders of faith” will need a translator.

This goes for many other phrases often heard inside a sanctuary. To the outside world, they just don’t make sense. These might include:

  • “Lay down the yoke of burden.”

  • “Pray for a hedge of protection.”

  • “Give your heart to Jesus.”

  • “Free redemption inside.”

If you were raised in church, you can explain what all of these mean, but when sharing our faith with others, your target audience is not church people but unchurched people and dechurched people.

Billboard evangelism also tends to deploy the threat of hell. Given who billboard evangelists are trying to speak to, it’s a poor incentive for attending church or picking up a Bible. Is that really who we imagine God to be? Is that really who we want other people to imagine God to be? If a Christian really believed the unbelievers in their lives are going to spend eternity in hell, does that idea in and of itself inspires motivation to inspire and compel non-Christians. After all, if hell is real, then about 7 in 10 people on Earth are in serious trouble. Why would we reduce that to a joke on a sign?

And if that’s the case, what’s being done about it?  

3 Ideas For Better Messaging About Jesus:

Point Others towards Jesus Not Condemnation

There is a better message. Instead of pointing toward condemnation, we should be pointing toward a better alternative to what people might be seeing in their day-to-day lives. We should be pointing toward unconditional love—the most unconditional love ever. Romans 8:1 says “there is no condemnation in Christ.” Condemnation at it’s purest form from the dictionary means to literally “Together be damned.” We shouldn’t be “putting people in hell” but inspiring people too heaven. Jesus is the final authority on your eternity, anyhow.

Have Less Confrontations and More Conversations

People might not understand church speak and they might be turned off by images of hell, but people do understand connecting to other human beings. Reaching lost people shouldn’t be left up to billboards, it should hinge on personal relationships. Share your story of who Jesus is to you. Share your struggles, fears, victories and wins! Authenticity is the best policy. One of my favorite Scriptures and life motto’s is this and maybe it can be yours too as you are sharing Jesus with others:

“Because we loved you so much, we were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God but our lives as well.” 1 Thessalonians 2:8

Use Your influence as an invitation not a warning

Church billboards shouldn’t be warnings, they should be invitations: “Come join us.  We think you’re awesome.” And once new people are inside the church, they should feel welcome because of how true that message turned out to be. That’s when they’re ready to hear about the bread of life. We all essentially are walking Billboards. Right? We are all saying something whether we realize it or not. What are you advertising? Be a person that has a life that is inviting and warm. Too many Christians give off a vibe that we are a warning to others instead of being warming to others and kind. Show some love so when others meet you … they walk away a better person when meeting you than wishing they have never met you.

What do do you think about church evangelism billboards and our own messaging efforts?

Post originally appeared and modified here on Relevant Magazine

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10 Straightforward Comparisons Between Dating a Girl Or A Woman

Who you partner yourself with for life can make or break you and your future.  We asked the question on Part 1 of  "How To Know If You Are Dating a Boy or a Man?" in our most recent post here.  Now that we have asked that question...what about for our lady friends?   

One of the attributes that you can look for in finding the girl of your dreams is maturity.  A man is interested in dating a woman…not a girl.  We highlighted a list for the guys because girls want to date a man and not a boy, essentially.  However, we want this series of posts to help guys not only rise up and be the men that God is calling them to be but also for girls to be the women God is calling them to become.  I have been talking hard to guys in the last post so here is my brief post to the ladies to encourage them and challenge them as well.  Here are are my thoughts (with some female input) on the differences:

 

10 Straightforward Comparisons Between Dating a Girl Or A Woman:

 

A GIRL CRITICIZES OTHERS BUT A WOMAN COMPLIMENTS OTHERS

OK girls, if you want to turn the “good guys” away, just be a “catty” girl.  Be that girl who talks about other girls behind their backs, comparing yourself constantly to others and for the sake of all things in the universe, don’t ask us guys the dreaded question:  “Do you think she’s pretty?”  Because a guy doesn’t know how to answer that one without causing the apocalypse.   A guys wants to find a woman who complements others, who loves God’s creation, who loves her friends and accepts others as they are, who affirms her church and her community and leadership. A guy doesn’t want to date a girl who criticizes because it’s just plain draining.  

 

A GIRL WAITS FOR THINGS TO HAPPEN BUT A WOMAN MAKES THINGS HAPPEN.

A woman knows who she is, knows what she wants and goes for it...professionally, relationally and spiritually.  She isn’t afraid to ask the questions, ask for help and collaborate with others.  She has friends "beyond her best friends" and doesn’t have a trail of burned bridges behind her.  She’s assertive, smart and plans effectively.  A girl can lack ambition, patience, thinks short-term and thinks often only about herself.  But a woman has the characteristics of someone who wants to build a life for herself and her man as well. Check out Proverbs 31 for some ideal lady characteristics! 

 

A GIRL FLIRTS WITH MANY BUT A WOMAN IS FAITHFUL TO ONE.

A woman is confident, strong and knows who she is.  She knows how she’s acting in the moment and realizes that she represents her guy when she’s with her girlfriends and when she’s with others.  She is aware of what she's wearing, what she says and how she's acting around others.  A woman is clearly communicating verbally and nonverbally with those around her.  A girl however, is draining.  The boyfriend of a “girl” is constantly trying to "figure her out" because she's playing games with him.  She says things indirectly that are ambiguous and unclear.  Ladies, guys are already confused as it is...why make it more difficult?  A girl plays continued games that may work for now but he will eventually grow tired of them.  So ladies, be a woman who doesn't need to flirt but desires to be faithful in all situations and watch your man only have eyes for you.

 

A GIRL IS ENTITLED BUT A WOMAN IS ENCHANTING.

It’s the simple things that seem to make woman sweet, beautiful and alluring.  An enchanting woman loves the small gestures, the sincere romance and the authentic conversation (along with some gifts…come on ladies, am I right?).  A girl who is entitled talks about what she wants and if she can’t get it, she starts plotting what she wants through her and his friends.  Guys, we have a lot more fun by dating a woman whose priority is not material things and false expectations but is overwhelmed by the time and thought put into a simple gift than an extravagant one.  But guys that means you have to know what her likes and tastes are.  Because when you give her what she wants because you know her well, that puts her over the moon for you.  At the end of the day, it's not about the price or the stuff but it's about do you know her enough to know what she likes.  

 

 

A GIRL TRIES WAY TOO HARD BUT A WOMAN IS HARD TO GET.

My wife was a woman from the beginning.  She had standards.  She knew what she wanted.  She loved God and wanted a man who loved God.  I found myself doing what I could to win her over.  I met her in church.  Not at the club, at an after-party, etc.  (Hello, single people...!!)  Church is a great place to meet people (Oh, and find some really awkward ones, too...did I just say that out loud?)  We went boating with friends and I got to know her.  Eventually I took her out and the rest is history.  We grew to love each other.  We got married and have just celebrated 22 years in Hawaii.  You know what guys...I still romance her.  We celebrate birthdays like royalty, we go out on Valentines Day like we did in the early days, we have anniversary’s at some really great places that have really great pools (especially pools that have people that bring food right to you...we are a big deal and we are fine with that), I give her “just because” flowers at work, etc.  I say that because what "won her" to me while dating is what "keeps her" with me in marriage.  She made me work for it.  And you know what…I liked it.  When a girl makes obnoxious and obvious pursuits of a guy, maybe it’s me, but it feels a little different to me.  Nothing necessarily wrong with that but I want to be the man who has to win her over … and it brought out the man in me.  So girls, stop throwing yourself at him but let him chase you...if he's the man for you, he'll "see you" and run right after you.

 

 

A GIRL GOES ON THE DEFENSIVE BUT A WOMAN GROWS IN DISCERNMENT.  

A woman knows her surroundings.  She is aware of the spiritual climate in the room and knows when the battle is not against others (“flesh and blood”) but when it’s a spiritual battle.  A girl assumes the worst and gets defensive towards her guy and others.  She gets offended easily and assumes the worst.  She becomes hurt easily and lives from a posture of defensiveness and constant mistrust.  

 

 

A GIRL WANTS HIM TO CHANGE TO HER LIKING BUT A WOMAN ACCEPTS HIS FLAWS BECAUSE SHE LIKES YOU.  

I’ve counseled couples and their seemed to be some expectation that the other was going to change for the other.  News flash: not gonna happen. A guy is much more willing to become a better man when he knows he’s loved unconditionally by his woman. I mean isn’t that the foundation of relationship with Jesus?   A woman knows her man’s weaknesses.  She doesn’t expose them but covers them and makes him a better man. 

 

A GIRL IS SELFIE-OBSESSED BUT A WOMAN IS OBSESSED WITH SELFLESSNESS.

Hey girls, “pouty lips” or “the duckface” is not always cute to guys.  Frankly, they can seem over the top.  Are the selfies in fun or do they point to a bigger issue?  A girl only cares about herself, how she looks and how many likes.  A woman is concerned about others. A girl is selfish with her money but a woman is generous.  A girl is needy but a woman meets a need.  She lives a live of generosity by giving freely.  Her life is characterized by being a person who says that others matter.   Because when she prioritizes others, the others around her will prioritize her so she is never in lack or in want. 

 

A GIRL GOSSIPS ABOUT OTHERS BUT A WOMAN GAINS RESPECT FROM OTHERS

Perhaps life is just too boring or maybe jealousy is to blame, but some girls love the drama (I get enough of that for one day by stumbling across an episode of Scandal or Riverdale).  This type of pandemonium is unheard of with a woman because she’s too busy going for her dreams to waste her time and/or helping others achieve their dreams and potential.  Don’t be a girl who gossips and causes division. A man doesn’t want to waste his time getting wrapped up in the cray-cray.   Not to mention, guys assume girls are doing the same thing with the rest of her family and friends. A woman has a respect with with others in her community. 
Guys, if you want to find the girl of your dreams, ask others around you what they think about her….because that will be the test of if she’s right for you. 

 

A GIRL TAKES CONTROL IN THE RELATIONSHIP BUT A WOMAN GIVES HIM CONTROL IN THE RELATIONSHIP

A girl is controlling.  She is one of those girls who commands him to open the door for her, tells her what he should order for her, etc.  Although I appreciate the take-charge idea...wrong execution because in the end she is the one yelling at her guy because he's not being the spiritual leader in the relationship. A woman let's him lead and take charge spiritually.  Even when he’s not a woman inspires him to go farther and dig deeper. A woman wants him to own his faith, own his spiritual life and own the relationship.  

 

 

Anything I'm missing from this list?

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10 Reasons To Know If You Are Dating a Boy or a Man?

When it comes to relationships, saying the phrase “it’s complicated” is an understatement. Also, we don't want to awaken love till the right time.  And the right time is usually marked by maturity.  So how do we know if the person we are dating is mature and ready for a relationship? My church, River Valley Church, has recently started a relationship series that you can can check out here.

Along with hearing some great teaching on relationships, here’s a few thoughts I have put together about the dating scene. We will have a post similar to this to the ladies tomorrow. However, this one is for the guys. With that said, here’s my thoughts on…

 

How To Know If You Are Dating a Boy or a Man:

 

1.  A BOY MAKES YOU FEEL LIKE YOU'RE NOT GOOD ENOUGH BUT A MAN MAKES YOU FEEL LIKE YOU'RE MORE THAN ENOUGH.  

Hey girls, if you have to constantly prove to your guy that you are more attractive and better looking than the other girls around you, then he doesn't deserve you.  From what i've heard, it's hard enough to navigate the pressures with other girls so you don’t need false pressure from your guy.  If a guy truly loves his girl, she will be enough and what she lacks, he becomes her strength in that area.  Let 2 Corinthians 12:9 be inspiration for you for your guy to love you like Jesus loves you.

 

 

2.  A BOY IS POSSESSIVE BUT A MAN IS PROTECTIVE.  

Guys, if the relationship is healthy, she will trust you.  If she doesn't, then you'll naturally be afraid of losing her.  So guys, stop trying to control the moment because of your own insecurity, pride, etc.  If you make her feel cherished and loved...what girl wouldn't want to be in the arms of a dude like that?  So loosen the grip, son. 

 

 

3.  A BOY IS CONSIDERS WHETHER HE COULD DO BETTER BUT A MAN IS CONFIDENT HE HAS THE BEST.  

Hey girls, a guy who is always looking for the next best thing that comes his way is not the guy you want to be with.  He should only have eyes for you.  Guys, if you are “looking” at other women when you are in the presence of the girl you committed to, then you aren't ready for a relationship.  A guy can change his mind, that's fine.  But a guy that has committed himself to a relationship but is only in it for the benefits for himself, is a guy that is not ready to be dating anyone.  A man makes his commitment and sticks with it.  If he starts to question where his relationship is going, then he will have the conversation when necessary. 

 

 

 

4.  A BOY IS INTERESTED IN "LOOKS" BUT A MAN IS INTERESTED IN LIFE. 

How you do life matters. Because looks fade.  Feelings diminish at times.  But a man shows you how to do life together. And that will sustain your relationship for the long haul.  How you both line up with faith, passions, interests, raising kids, how you vacation, what movies you like, how you spend your Saturday Nights, what you laugh at, what you cry at, what you fight about...will show you if who you are building your life with is in it for you or simply into your looks. John 10:10 shows us when you live life to the full, your interests and your partner’s interests take on a different meaning because Jesus is at the center of it all.


A man is less concerned how you look to family and friends and is more concerned how you love family and friends.



 

5,  A BOY MAKES HER ACCOMPLISHMENTS FEEL THREATENING BUT A MAN MAKES HER ACCOMPLISHMENTS WORTHY OF PROTECTING.  

I love celebrating my wife's accomplishments.  She has had a great career in the Christian music industry, orphan care, church life, the financial industry and ministry.  Her success at all these things doesn't threaten me but makes me proud of what a woman she is.  Guys, champion your lady to be successful because she's more capable than you think! 

 

 

6.  A BOY PLAYS IN THE MOMENT BUT A MAN PREPARES FOR THE FUTURE. 

 A lot of us guys can't think past the next 2 minutes when they're with a girl.  Sometimes all we see is her beauty.  And all we are trying to do is not talk like an idiot or act like a complete moron.  So every moment with our girl makes us feel crazy because we don't want to blow it.  And when we get to the romance part, we are going a 1000 mph.  So it is tough to find our pace, take it slow and enjoy the next few hours when we are with the girl of our dreams.  So guys, that's why you have to not live from feeling to feeling or moment to moment but think about the big picture.  Too many guys have lost their “future wife” acting in a moment.  So when I say prepare, I am saying think about before-hand what your actions could do to her or to you or to those around you.  Proverbs 22:3 says this, “A prudent man with insight foresees danger coming and prepares himself for it. But the senseless rush blindly forward and suffer the consequences.” Think before you act, fellas.  

 

 

7.  A BOY LOOKS TO GAIN POPULARITY FROM YOUR FAMILY AND FRIENDS BUT A MAN GAINS PROMOTION FROM YOUR FAMILY AND FRIENDS.  

It's like this:  If people she respects most doesn't like him or care to be around him, then it's probably not a good fit.  Plain and simple, y'allz.

 

8. A BOY GUESSES WHAT'S HAPPENING AND JUMPS TO CONCLUSIONS IN SITUATIONS BUT A MAN GAINS WISDOM ADJUSTS HIS COMPOSURE.  

Guys get hotheaded.  We get into fights.  We don't wanna be wrong and we can be very prideful.  So fella's, seek the wisdom.  The best starting place for that is in the Bible so if you haven't read the Scriptures in a while, then there's your first problem.   Put yourself in the presence of God and in the presence of those who are wiser than you. Find those who have done relationships well and ask for advice.  They probably have a few good things to say about relationships so stop and ask them about how they made it “this far” with their “favorite girl” and listen up!

 

 

A man is always confident he has the best than always wondering if he can do better.


 

9.  A BOY IS CONCERNED HOW SHE LOOKS TO HIS FAMILY AND FRIENDS AND MAN IS CONCERNED HOW SHE LOVES HIS FAMILY AND FRIENDS.  

A man wants his girl to be liked by his family and friends.  Because those closest to his family and friends have a pretty good radar if she's the one.  So girls, take special heed to the other special ladies in his life...I’m talking about mom’s and sister’s.  How you interact and love those who are special in his life is a good way for you to make an impression and make him feel good about the choice he made. Also how he loves, honors and respects the other ladies in his life is a good indicator on how he will do the same with you."

 

  

10.  A BOY IS RECKLESS WITH HIS LIFE BUT A MAN IS RELIABLE WITH HIS LIFE. 

There is an understanding in relationships that an important attribute to look for in love is security. I understand that there are many things in life that we depend on but can’t be 100% sure of — our job, our health and etc. But in view of this, be a man who iis going to be there for her in sickness and in health, for better or for worse, for richer…for poorer, etc. Because trust, honest and dependable are essentials to do life with someone for the long haul.

Coming up next, how to know if you are dating a girl or a woman…

Any you would add?

 

 

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