Everyone reading this post is guaranteed to have one thing in common with everyone else: we all have experienced moments we have lost our confidence. That moment when we felt like we weren't going to succeed. That moment when we thought that "someone else should be doing this...not me." That moment when we suddenly realize that "I don't believe in myself...I can't do this." Some of these moments are fewer and farther in between than others but every leader has or will experience moments in their lives where they don't trust themselves in a moment. Confidence lost. the bigest lives often will have the most difficult tasks and face the biggest fears which is why we need confidence. The New Young Christian can lose confidence at times so how can we get it back and get it back quickly?
How To Get Your Confidence Back?
Talk to the right person.
Let's define confidence for a moment by defining what it is not. Confidence is not arrogance. There is a difference. Arrogance is an overbearing pride and extreme self-importance. Confidence is a trustworthy reliance and belief in someone. The word "confidence" has a word embedded in it that is critical to being confident. It's the word, "confide." True biblical confidence is found when we place our trust, reliability and confide in Christ. When we intentionally put yourselves in the presence of Christ, when we are vulnerable with our fears and insecurities, when we place our trust back into his hands and take it out of our hands...that's when confidence comes back in full force. Practically speaking, the more you are in God's presence, reading God's word and speaking regularly to God, letting God fill you, letting God inspire you...the more confident you will be.
True biblical confidence is found when we place our trust, reliability and confide in Christ.
Stop playing the comparison game.
I think we lack confidence when we see someone else doing it better, bigger and stronger. The biggest killer of confidence is comparison. So our response is, "I'm just going to be myself and they can take it or leave it." Although a brave statement, confidence isn't found in just securing yourself in your personality. Knowing who you are is the result of confidence but not the starting place of true Biblical confidence. Confidence is being secure in God's will which is both "who you are" and "what you do." God's will is about you first "becoming" the right person then "doing" the task second. Who you are will always precede what you do. When you stop comparing yourself to others and cease striving to have someone else's calling but be yourself according to how God made you and love what God is wanting you to do with your life, your confidence will conquer. Some of the most confident moments you'll experience in your life is when you are most secure in Christ's definition of who you are and what He's called you to do.
When you stop comparing yourself to others and cease striving to have someone else's calling but be yourself according to how God made you and love what God is wanting you to do with your life, your confidence will conquer.
Trust God and not yourself.
The root of confidence is going to be where you put your trust? Pride says, "I got this." Confidence says, "God's got this." Biblical confidence is rooted in obedience to what GOD is calling you to do. Pride is rooted in arrogance to what YOU are wanting to do. The Bible asks a question of "why so down and lacking confidence, put your trust in God" (Psalm 42:5). WHO you put your trust in determines HOW you progress forward. Whether you realize it or not, God trusts you more than you trust yourself. You are called to do great things. That's not a leadership cliche but a truth from Jesus who reminded us, "Greater things you will do because I go to the Father" (John 14:12). I think that's why I love James and John arguing over who is greatest in the Kingdom (Luke 9:46). Basically "who is more awesome...me or you?" was the argument Christ had to settle. Notice Jesus didn't shut them down for their confidence but simply asked them if they had what it takes to do the big thing God called them to do. Spending time with Christ on a regular basis allows Him to bring the greatness in you to the surface for you to discover but it also He brings the confidence to do what God is calling you to do.
Biblical confidence is rooted in obedience to what God is calling you to do. Pride is rooted in arrogance to what you are wanting to do.
Stop letting the opinions of others chip away your confidence.
Don't let other people's opinions chip away at your confidence. They may not sabotage your confidence but it will chip away at it. The young leader has to do their best to not be ruled by what other people think but instead be ruled by what God thinks. You'll get opinion from everyhewere. If you live only by other people's opinions you won't be confident. The reality is a 100 opinions of others on how great you are to "build your confidence" doesn't compare to the weight of only God's opinion on who you are. The messages of others about you is no match for the mind of Christ in you. That mind comes from confiding in God, trusting in God with your calling and your future. The danger is once something is chipped away at it enough, it has potential to be discarded. But God says this, "Do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what He has promised (Hebrews 10:35-36).
The reality is a 100 opinions of others on how great you are to "build your confidence" doesn't compare to the weight of only God's opinion on who you are. The messages of others about you is no match for the mind of Christ in you.
How can you build confidence back into your own life today?