Insecurity will come when you compare yourself to another person. In a world of constantly looking at other's "highlight reels" on social media, it's never been easier to fall into self-doubt.
Doubting yourself has never been easier than when you're at the gym. Now, I normally don't wear workout gear as all-day clothes. Some people love their yoga pants. They live in them. I don't own yoga pants (but I'm sure if I did own them, I wouldn't take them off)...but I do own some rad UnderArmor. This isn't just your "plain black" or some solid color...no. This kind has stripes in just the right places making my chest look like I'm an Avenger. So when I hit the gym, I feel like Thor ... until I see the other guys. I start comparing my strength to theirs. They are lifting more than me, benching more than me, sweating more than me, grunting louder than me (just kidding I don't grunt because grunters aren't self-aware enough to realize that you sound like a yak giving birth). I begin to think that I don't belong there. That I'm not good enough to be there. So I shrink back to the corner of the gym where the ab-roller's and hand grips are. I self-sabotaged myself. So I go back over to the bench press and say, "what are you lifting bro?" And begin to describe how I used to lift but took some time off because of an old football injury back when I played in college (great...now I'm not just battling insecurity but now I got a lying problem....come on, Alan)
The reality was I DID belong there. Insecurity seems to develop when a person compares his or herself to another. Don’t try to be someone you’re not. Be yourself. Realize that who God designed you to be is not a mistake. You need to stop comparing and start living in your own skin.
How to overcome Insecirity:
1. Know your identity in Christ
You have a relationship with Christ. I have found a direct correlation between my security in my relationship with Jesus and my security with other people. If I'm insecure in my relationship with God then I will be insecure with my relationships with others. On the other hand ... the more secure I am with God the more secure and confident I will be in moving forward in God's plan for my life. Remember, “You can do all things through Christ who gives you strength”. You can do all He calls you to do, because He will equip you for His call – and strengthen you when you need strength most. If you are facing insecurity in leadership, remember “He who calls you is faithful, who also will do it.” (1 Thessalonians 5:24). Insecurity is when I'm focused on what others think about me but security is when I'm focused on what God thinks about me. When you truly find out how God made you to be...you will never want to be anyone else or do anything else.
2. Concentrate on your abilities
What are you good at doing? Make a list of your good qualities. You probably have more than you think you do. In times of feeling insecure we often forget who we are and how God has shaped us through experiences of life. Imagine telling a family member or a friend they aren’t gifted? So why would we believe this about ourself? So make a list and keep it accessable. It will help you feel more confident if you focus more on your positives than your negatives.
3. Never stop growing
Seek wisdom from other leaders who have gone before you. I love that the Bible is full of leaders who were felt unqualified and who were lacking the skills and education to do the job. When I feel overwhelmed or insecure, I read the stories like those of Gideon, Moses, Joseph, David, or Joshua repeatedly to supply me with great encouragement.) Find knowledge from mentors who are farther down the road than you. Read books on topics that interest you and from authors you want to mimic of learn from. Up your education. Join a network. The more you grow in information the more competent you will feel in your role.
4. Discover God's perspective
Insecurity rearranges everything you see and hear in leadership. So maybe the chaos you're experiencing as a leader in your organization, family, etc is because you are listening to the wrong voices or you are focusing your eyes on the wrong things. If God holds everything together then being held by God means and with God and in God means you should be the most secure person so insecurity could mean that you were feeling out of the grip and hand of God. Focus on Christ and experience your foundation becoming firmer.
5. Get grounded in confidence
Confidence is not what You do with God but what God does with you...Don't limit God by your insecurity. Confidence is in annointing. When God affirms you it's not for just for a moment but to put you in a place of extreme security in Him. Confidence is what sustains you. Confidence is what keeps you grounded security and God. The root of confidence is "confide." Confiding in Jesus is a practice that will notmonky makenyounsecire but get you closer to Jesus.
6. Find people who compliment your weaknesses
A healthy church or organization strength comes from its different people. So don’t be afraid to ask for help. There are people who are better at doing things you don't feel comfortable doing or not skilled at doing things you don’t feel comfortable doing. It’s not a sign of weakness to get others involved. It’s actually a sign of strength as a leader.
Any other advice you would give?