How to Navigate the "Christian Landscape"

Life is a spiritual journey.  Christianity is an adventure.  Or at least it should be.  At times our faith seems to reflect sitting at our favorite coffee shop while “instragramming” the perfect shot of our roasted pour-over while angled in the right light and precisely placed on the reclaimed wood table next to your dream journal being #blessed marking the #perfectfriday.   While there is nothing wrong about that common experience, I would like to believe that the life of follower of Jesus is less about sitting and dreaming and more about going and following.  As a matter of fact, the life of a follower of Jesus has always been about this simple command,

“Deny yourself, take up your cross and follow me.” Luke 9:23

If uneventful is what you’re used to, underwhelming has been your experience and boring is what you're expecting then you may have been following a “list of rules” instead of following a “life with God.”   A lack of passion or excitement in your Christian journey might be because we have reduced our journey of faith to be centered more on the elimination of sin instead of exploration of God.  Resisting sin continuously is depleating but finding God continuously is inspiring.  Erwin Mcmanus says it like this,

“The entire focus of our faith has been the elimination of sin, which is important but inadequate, rather than the unleashing of a unique, original, extraordinary, wonderfully untamed faith.” - The Barbarian Way

Untamed is what we both admire and fear about the outdoors.  Describing your faith as “untamed” should feel unusually invigorating.  I like the word, "untamed" because there is "savage" state to the world (our relationships, our politics, our professions, etc) that is truly... savage.  But we won’t allow the untamed state of our world to limit us to retreat but to inspire us towards adventure. 

“The life of follower of Jesus is less about sitting and dreaming and more about going and following.  ”

Justin Timberlakes latest release, Man of the Wood, has every girl heart-throbbing and every red-blooded American male high-fiving.  Why?  Because there is something about this album that is different from his others.  Maybe it's because we have seen Justin go from this refined and smooth performer to a raw and unfiltered outdoorsman.  Music is a spiritual experience.  As this album drops, there is something raw yet beautiful (and possibly spiritual) about the journey he is on that we as Christians can relate to.   When Timberlake took to social media to let us know he was not only announcing his album, Man of the Woods,  but that it would be dropping on Feb. 2 (just days before his Super Bowl Halftime Performance, NBD), I immediately started to make plans to break into the US Bank stadium and find my spot in the halftime show.  While my tenacious heart and passionate pursuit of collecting experiences more than things is a gift to many, Timberlake gifted us all with a teaser video that is just a little taste of what we can expect for his newest album: He's running through the meadows, he's kissing a Jessica Biel, and he's wading around in a river with his clothes on for some reason. It's a side of Justin we haven't really seen before. And we like it. In the video teaser, he talks about the inspiration behind Man of the Woods. He says,

This album is really inspired by my son, my wife, my family, but more so than any album I’ve ever written, where I’m from. And it’s personal.” – Justin Timberlake

It’s “inspirational” and it’s “personal.”  I love that he chose those words.  Our spiritual life is both inspirational and personal as well.  It's inspirational because true inspiration (even the nature of this word) means to “breathe into” as God breathes into us His plans and purposes for our lives.  It's personal because his journey is his own...and so is our faith journey.  Our pursuit of God is meant to have in inspirational and personal expression of adventure and rawness to it...no matter if your man, woman or Justin.  Who we are and what we are made of is not just fuel to keep going but our marching orders for our Christian adventure.  

“If this generation is to really follow Jesus on this spiritual adventure, then we must abandon instant gratification, spiritual formulas and equations and embrace the true mission of Jesus and follow with all that is within us. ”

Being a Christian has, is and always will be about movement.  Many things qualify as movements these days.  But the heart of the Christian life is to find out where God is moving and to stay close and stay on course.  The Old Testmant has a great visual example of following God as cloud by day and fire by night.  We know Jesus' command "to follow Me" is for all of us who call upon Christ as Lord (just like the disciples in the Gospels).  Even when we may not even know how to get there, but there is someone that is following closely enough that if I follow them, I am in essentially following Jesus,  

“Follow me as I follow Christ.” - 1 Corinthians 11:1

An obvious point here: God is not a God that stays in the same place. It’s in God’s nature to compel us to follow Him forward.  To seek him and to move with Him.  Seeking is part of the Christian life.  Pursuing is a part of the believers nature.  As a matter of fact we are commanded to “seek first” (Matthew 6:33).  Let's put our quest for God first than our quest for all other person, places and things.  The meaning of seek in this passage means "to exert oneself vigorously; to make strenuous efforts toward any goal; to contend in opposition, battle, or any conflict; compete." Pursing God isn’t “natural.”  But there is an effort for the believer to exert.  There is an intentionality to seeking that we have to engage.  God makes it clear that “no one seeks after God” (Romans 3:11).  So allowing our human nature to take charge and "not seek" when we were "made to move" slowly transforms our lives of Christian pursuit into lives of "Christian couch potatos."  A spiritually lazy escape from the stress of real life and forget about the “outside world.”  God doesn’t put you on a "spiritual vacation" but a "spiritual venture" that involves absolute uncertainty as to the outcome but demanding risk and guaranteeing reward. 

“If uneventful is what you’re used to, underwhelming has been your experience and boring is what you’re expecting then you may have been following a “list of rules” instead of following a “life with God.”   ”

The Christian life isn’t easy.  There are no quick and easy paths to spiritual life and maturity and if you want to experience a deeper and more meaningful level of maturity then prepare for a long and arduous journey.  If this generation is to really follow Jesus on this spiritual adventure, then we must abandon instant gratification, spiritual formulas and equations and embrace the true mission of Jesus and follow Him with all that we are.  The terrain is vigorous and the it isn't for the faint of heart.  And In case you thought you were the only one who thought it was supposed to be easy to move through the Christian landscape…it’s not.  In a way you need markers.  You need a legend.  A legend is a map key that show you where you are so you know where you are going. Because the Christian landscape can sometimes be difficult to know where you are and you have to know where you are to know where you are going.  If God calls us to be an adventurer, to be a seeker, to be a pursuer then charting a course is critical. 

“Resisting sin continuously is depleating but finding God continuously is inspiring. ”

But God is not a God about North, South, East and West.  Instead God is about bushes that burn in the fields, oceans that are meant for you to stand upon, winds that whisper truth on the mountains and  waters that part when you need them to most.  It’s less about your direction in life and more about his declaration for your life.  When God speaks we go.  When God burns we turn and follow.  When God speaks our name we step out into storms to meet Him.  When God dries up riverbeds there is no direction but forward for the spiritual traveler.  Jesus didn't settle and neither do we.  For the Christian adventurer, it's less about settling and more about pioneering.  The Christian life is about moving because God is moving.  Where God moves we should want to be.  Movements collect momentum but monuments collect memorabilia. So where God goes we go.  No questions asked.

So what does the terrain of the Christian landscape look like?    

I believe the spiritual terrain of the Christian life is divided into 5 areas:

MOUNTAINS: “Unshakable Truths.” 

On the Christian landscape there are a range of truths that sit in the background on the horizon.  They are always in picturesque view everywhere you look and everywhere you go giving us a dividing line on the horizon as to what is worthwhile and what is trivial.  You may choose to climb these behemoths or simply admire their strength on a clear day.  Regardless these truths are sometimes in the center of your view but will always be peripheral to your view.  These truths will never fall.  They will never move.  No matter where you have come from or where you are going, these truths have always been there and always will be.  They are there to remind us of who we are and who He is.  These truths are Jesus is God, The Bible is God’s Word, Salvation through grace, etc.

PLAINS: “Common Ground.” 

There are places in Christianity that are simply level.  They are open and wide and beautiful wide-open spaces where all can gather together.  This is a place where no one is higher than anyone else but we are level and in agreement. No matter where you have come from on your journey, these common ground areas allow you to make progress because it’s easily passable level fields and meadows and find acceptance because everyone is welcome here.  These common ground areas include themes all Christians can agree on:  love, forgiveness, peace, hope, etc.

“There are no quick and easy paths to spiritual life and maturity and if you want to experience a deeper and more meaningful level of maturity then prepare for a long and arduous journey.”

OCEANS: “Deep Themes”

Going deep is part of the Christian life.  It’s a part of the journey that is left up to us and those we are with to compel us to dive in to subjects of the Christian journey that aren’t as easily understood or articulated.  Every ocean has a shore and that’s where we all start.  But while the shore is beaituful place to stand and admire, there is more.  There is a depth that is waiting for you to walk out deeper and to go farther.  Slowly you leave the security of the shore and the ground under you as the water rises until you find yourself treading water.  Even though you see the shore, you choose to dive in and swim.  Going benetath the surface and submerging yourself.  You will be forced to come up for air but for many of us we are just beginning to explore the seemingly endless terrain of these suberianian themes of our Christian life.  These themes include:  Sovereignty, eternity, God’s will, etc.

FORESTS:  "Cultural Views" 

Sometimes the journey isn't as easy to follow and the path as clear.  And it's not because the path is more treacherous  but sometimes the path is harder to find and discover.  There are parts of the Christian journey that are as thick and complicated as the growth of an untamed forest.  The branches intertwine like opinions and roots as deep as it's passions.  The beautiful yet complicated design of a forest reveals to all who pass through the beautiful yet complicated expressions of the cultural opinions we hold dear to our hearts.  But yet we choose to go out on limb and share our view because everyone's journey is unique just like each person.  Seeing the forest through the trees has never been more true as we navigate the cultural issues facing our fatih as we move forward on the path in front of us or finding our own path in these complicated woods.  These cultural forests include: tolerance, same-sex attraction, politics, right to life, etc. 

RIVERS:  "Inspirational Currents"

Starting at it's highest point on the mountains, rivers find their path and make their way over everything and nothing can stand in it's way.  Where the current goes the river goes.  Where the river moves life moves with it carving a path throughout the land and saturating the dry areas and flooding the wilderness with it's power.  It's current carries you and the it's refreshment sustains you.  When you find the current it carries you but resist the current and make waves.  So you respect it's movement and revel in it's beauty.  You rest on it's banks or wade into it's depths but once you find the river you won't stray far from it.  Because when you have drank from it you won't drink anything else.  When you experience it, you know it's pleasure and purpose.  These inspirational currents are those moments in the presence of God where you are filled, restored and marked by the Holy Spirit.  

As an adventurer following Jesus, you will experience this terrain.  While the Christian Landscape has these beautiful expressions, the journey is never easy. There are treacherous moments:

Because every ocean carries storms

Because every forest can get you lost

Because every mountain has a valley

Because every river has rapids

And even meadows can get crowded.  

So we choose to trust journey and lean into the direction God has given us.  Just because it's hard doesn't mean God's not part of it.  God's with you.  The journey is yours.  Follow Jesus.  

Anything you would add?

Highest point you are there…

Lowest point you’re there….

Make a "to-be" List

As the new year is kicking off, It's natural to think about goals.  But I'm doing it different this year.  For my personal life and ministry, I decided to not make a "to-do list" of things to accomplish this year.  Instead, I've chosen to make a simple 3-word "to-be" list of of who I want to be this year.  

We all know that doing flows from being.  How you see yourself will determine how you lead yourself.  Yet we seem to recognize what we "accomplish in life" instead of celebrating who we "appreciate in life."   To be honest, I'm more concerned who my two children become as human beings versus what career they have or how much money they make.  Would I want them to be monetarily successful so that I can stay at their guest house in their gated community when visiting their estate in California as they have grill-out's with Daisy Ridley and Chris Hemsworth  between films...sure.  But I have to realize that money, majesty, magnitude and materials things all fade away but seeing my kid become WHO they were always meant to be gives me a contentment and security for their future like nothing else.  I remind my children that God created Adam and Eve in His own "image" and not as His own

So God created making in His own image, in the image of God He created them: male and female."  Genesis 1:27

I am remind them that before you were born and as you are in the your mom's womb, God was thinking about you.  But God wasn't thinking about what you were going "to do" in life but more about who you were going "to be" in life.  God told Jeremiah who he was while in the womb and not what he was to accomplish, that came later!  God had to remind Jeremiah he was "prophetic" first.  See below, 

"Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations."  Jeremiah 1:5

 God even used three words when commissioning YOU as a future Christian from Scripture.  God spoke to Peter to remind the church that they are:  chosen, royal and special.  And from there, God says "so that you may do this:  declare!  God didn't start out telling them what they were supposed to do but instead reminded them who they are so that they can have the confidence, the purpose and the significance of being a people that were to do what God wanted them to do which was declare praise! See below:  

"But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God's special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderous light." 1 Peter 2:9

Worship leaders, before we do any praising, let' God remind you of who you are rather than the world.  That makes all difference in how you carry yourself, what you say and how you act on stage.  Pastor's ... same thing.  Even in our everyday life, if we unconsciously have our 3 words as "entitled, stingy and pessimistic" then most likely we will be building your family, your team at work and your community around you as "a self- indulged and resentful, reluctant to be generous with a joyless and unhopeful future because others never cared or tried."   Maybe that's why we are called "human beings" instead of "human doings."  So let's choose to "be" who God has called us to be this year.  Let's make 2018 a year of being instead of doing.  Because as you discover who God is calling you to be this year, God will reveal and equip you for what you are to do this year.  

“How you see yourself will determine how you lead yourself. ”

I'm sharing you my words this year to inspire you as you continue to head forward into 2018:

1.  Succint.  Why this word?  Because as a communicator I want to say it less to give more of an impact, because I want to simplify a few areas of my life, because I also am dividing my time blocks into shorter coffees with more intentionality, etc.  I've realized what you see in your life tomorrow depends on what you seek in your life today.  So I am simplifying by seeking God in all that I do.  I also put a Scripture with it to keep God as the originator and sustainer of this word.  I have Matthew 6:33 as my word because not only is the verse short but there is a simplicity build into it to keep it minimal yet powerful.  It says this, "Seek first the Kingdom of God and all these things will be added."  There's that seek word, again! Love it! 

2.  Savvy.  Why?  Because I am trying to be more experienced and knowledgable on some of my career objectives, because I want to be sensible and more welcome-informed  on some other areas of my life I wasn't, because I want to be more perceptive and smooth in my leadership, etc.  I am using Proverbs 14:15 because it sums it up best, "The naive believes everything but the sensible man considers his steps."  

3.  Liberating.  Why?  Because I want to have more freedom in me to be more bold and daring, to see others become free to be themselves in my team and in my campus, because there are a lot of limitations culture puts on us and I want to be a man who lives and walks in freedom!  I love 2 Corinthians 3:17 for this one because where the presence of God is there is freedom and one of my goals is to do nothing without God's presence being seen, heard and felt!  It says, "Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom."

“we seem to recognize what we ‘accomplish in life’ instead of celebrating who we ‘appreciate in life.’”

Each word affects my persona life and professional life.  Out of these words, my behaviors change, my choices are different and I have already and will see a different outcome this year.  

What are you 3 words?

Why I Am Not Finding Balance This Year

 With all the resolutions and goals being tossed around, I realized that there is a pursuit of finding your balance with our family, jobs, work, relationships, etc.  I am arguing that when has “finding balance” been the fulfillment of our lives?  I’ve tried to “balance things” and it’s not fun.  What kid wants a balanced “see saw” or one of those giant spring-loaded ladybugs or dragons that you can rock back and forth because the thrill is back and forth or up and down.  Last time I was dared to balance on fence when I was in high school, let’s just say it was I “split down the middle” as to what side I wanted to be on.  Jenga is not fun for me but I feel like I'm Tom Cruise defusing a bomb to save London and i'm sweating and shaking trying to keep that stupid tower of wood from crashing onto the table (or the giant jenga from falling on small children and killing them).   

Last time I checked, Jesus wasn’t into finding balance.  Balance says that we should give equal energy and attention to everything at the same time. However, not only is this idea not possible…it’s not Biblical.  I believe Jesus was more of a man of extremes: 

He was not balanced dealing with family: Jesus chose to prioritize work over his family because he knew the sacredness of the moment and knew his family had to wait –  (Matthew 12:46-47).

He was not balanced with work:  In the midst of saving the world, he stopped and focused on his family because He knew what they needed at the moment and so he was present and available (John 19:26-27). 

He was not balanced with ministry: He rerouted the team when he needed to and when it didn’t make sense because he knew the needs when the needs weren’t always obvious (john 4:4, 27)

He was not balanced with friends: He chose 3 friends as his favorites over the others knowing that sometimes you have to be exclusive as well as inclusive (Matthew 17:1).

“ALL that we do is done with not Christ being a priority above it but Christ being a part of it all.”

When He was supposed to be doing life with God or people, He was fully present physically, emotionally, and mentally. No one has ever been more passionate about people than Jesus. However, He didn’t just live at the whims of people, his family, ministry needs, etc. He was more concerned about doing everything with God rather than making God one priority amongst many other priorities.  It was less a “balancing act” and more of an “integrating it all together.”  Basically, Jesus made God the harmony of everything He did.  In other words, it’s not about God, then family, then work, then ministry, then…etc.  Jesus made God integrated into all he did.  So it was God and family, God and work, God and church, God and friends, God and....etc.   Rather than God being a primary note in the song, God was the congruency bringing the harmony of all the other parts together.  Showing both the mutual relationship of all parts.  The Bible makes it clear about whatever we accomplish this year it’s about the whole.  The bible says in Colossians 3:17 & 23-24:

Whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him." Again, whatever we do, in work or business, it is to be done in the name of Jesus, with integrity and a sense of Christian service… Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving."

ALL that we do is done with not Christ being a priority above it but Christ being a part of it all.  So I am proposing that instead of finding balance…let’s find RHYTHM.  For any good harmony to work, it must have rhythm.  Rhythm has movement and rest.  What I have been doing for years that has helped me to never feel “burned out” or stressed out, is to divide my day, weeks, months and year into patterns with built-in rest. 

“Rather than God being a primary note in the song, God was the congruency bringing the harmony of all the other parts together.  ”

Here’s an example of my basic daily work schedule or "rhythm."  I block my "cadence" into general 3 hour chunks.   It ranges between  2-3 hours due to schedule of others, meetings I'm asked to be at by my direct reports, family readjustments, etc.  I’m not rigid about the time but it’s simply a reference.  Here it is:

AM-9   REALIGN – Here I do my devos, workout, good breakfast, pray over kids, grab convo with the wife (she works full time), etc. Basically a body/soul/spirit alignment. (I put AM as sometimes I get up at 5 am and other times it’s 7am depending on how late I get to bed).

9-12     CREATE – Here I do my thinking, planning, discovering, investing, organizing my ministry, goals, etc.  I also think about who I need to connect with, what part of my performance needs work, what do I need to fix, where are we going and how do we get there, etc.  I schedule with people here as well who inspire me, who pull out the best in me, who are creative too, etc. It's basically my inspiration and direction part of my day.

12-3     RELATE – This is my intentional time of connecting with others, networking, coffees, go to lunches, get coffees with people that I need to connect with, etc.  I usually like to do lunches at 11:30 or so because you can beat the rush, so “12” is a reference point and again, not a hard start time. 

3-6       ADMINISTRATE – I am not an administrative person, so this is the admin portion of my day: I text others back if I haven't yet, I connect with my team on certain things, I organize and return my emails, etc.  Again, it’s an “all-things-admin” so it’s not just emails, but much more than that.

6-9       “FAMILATE” – This is family time.  It’s family dinner together, family devo’s, games, homework, etc.  All-things-family is here and it’s always going to look different as we all know!  

9-PM   REST – I call this “rest” because all rhythms have a rest amongst the notes.  A constant beating drum isn’t relaxing but putting a “rest” in the beat gives us the rhtythm we enjoy. So I rest by reading one of my books, catching up on life with my family (not stressful talks here, those are planned differently), Netflixin’ with the wife, working on special passion projects, etc.  I say “PM” because sometimes I’m in bed at 10:30 and sometimes it’s 12:30 depending on the day.  Again, it’s a reference.  I’m a big believer of getting 7 hours so you aren’t feeling like garbage.  So my sleep measures forward 7 hours to when I start to realign again. 

After you rest, you realign again.  This is my rhythm. 

What’s yours? 

18 Motivations on How To Live Your Best 2018

Let's face it:  2017 was wild ride.  So every new year we get an opportunity to reflect, look back and take a fresh crack at another chance to make this year the year that goes down in the history books as one of the best. 

18 Motivations on How to Live Your Best 2018:

1.  You can be dreaming about the big moments but It always starts from obeying in the small moments. 

2. The quality of answers you are getting this year is dependant on the quality of questions you're asking this year.

3.  Listen wisely by turning off the right voices at the right time.   The “non-God” voice in your head is discouraging and can derail you.  It sounds like this: “You can’t do it”; “You are a not good enough”; “You are a terrible _____”; etc   The outside voices that are harmful or toxic are the ones that are divisive, dishonoring and discouraging.

4.  Passion usually leads you there but discipline will keep you there.

5.  Take action when you're lacking support or expertise because It’s not always going to be accessible when you need it.

6.  Don't allow shame to ever be a motivator.  You can distinguish the voice of shame by recognizing that shame says “you’re a bad person” but God’s voice of conviction says “you made a bad choice.”  Shame attacks identity while God acknowledges your choices.  

7.  Take time to recalibrate to God from where He’s taken you from so you can move forward to where God has you going.  

8.  Today’s decisions create tomorrow’s conditions.

9.  Being overwhelmed by God keeps you from being overwhelmed by circumstances

10.  My conduct is more important than what I accomplish.  The reality is some days you're going to win some and some days you're going to lose some.

11.  Put less effort into convincing people and put a lot more effort into inspiring people.  

12.  Stop trying to change your circumstances and start guarding your confidence.

13.  You have radical permission to be yourself.  Your future begins the moment you decide to be you.  

14.  Never underestimate the power of taking a daily 15 minute “Sabbath” in your day to rejuvenate and refresh.

15.  Complaining about your situation muffles the creativity to fix your situation.  So complain less and be more creative this year.

16.  Show me your tribe and I’ll show you your future.

17.  If you’re identity is found in your successes than you will lose who you are when you fail...so make your success your yes to God. 

18.  To get “there” without God means you have to sustain there without God as well. 

7 Ways to Navigate Your Highly Charged Political Conversations

As young people, one of the hardest emotions we have to manage is our passion for justice. More than ever we are a generation that desires to “right wrongs” that are happening in the world around us.  And that’s a good thing!  However, there are times when our passion for justice overides our command to honor those in charge.  Jesus chose to honor first before bringing justice to the world and we should do the same.  As wrong as it was for him to be shamed by those in charge, discredited by authorities and falsely accused, Jesus chose not retaliate but to honor those in charge and leave the justice up to God through the cross.

 But I’m fully aware that it’s not as easy as were saying. So, how do we honor those God has put over us when we don’t agree with them?  Here some suggestions: 

1. Stop labeling each other and start learning from each other

Christians can fall into the trap of dishonoring others whose political beliefs or ideas are different.  Left-leaning Christians engage in rhetoric that labels our right-leaning authorities as anti-poor, anti-woman, anti-immigrant and so on.  Right-leaning Christians can label our democratic friends on the left as anti-capitalist, anti-white, anti-baby, anti-cop, etc.   What if we labeled each other as human beings?  What if we saw each other as creations of God?  Those labels give us a starting point to engage with others that isn’t political but personal to God.  They give us permission to accept each other despite our political positions so we can listen to each other rather than scream at each other.  Pursue the right perspective of each other before pursuing the right to push back against each other.  Your perspective of who you are is the best starting point to engage others where they are at.

2. Being disagreeable doesn’t mean being dishonorable 

When the actions of your leadership disagrees with your view of what leadership is, you have a choice to make.  Young David, an up-and-coming leader became successful and did everything right with those around him.  Even with those who were in authority over him.  King Saul, a political and spiritual leader that David reported to, chose to be irrational and dysfunctional.  To the point of wanting to kill David.  How would you honor a man who relentlessly sought to kill you? David had an understanding of the authority.  That God puts kings in charge and he knew that God had established making Saul king (1 Sam. 9:15-16). While Saul was his political leader, David’s honor for Saul was seen through is “honor lens” every day.  Every response by David towards Saul’s rants and ravages revealed to others how not only how much David loved God by how much he honored.  David spared Saul's life in the cave (1 Sam. 24:4-22) and again on the field of war while Saul was sleeping (1 Sam. 26:1-12) until finally this irrational ruler was defeated in battle and fell upon his own sword.  David not only grieved his death, prayed and fasted but wrote a song about his fallen leadership (2 Sam. 1:17-27). Instead of recounting all of Saul's weaknesses, the song he wrote actually recounted his honor.  Whenever possible, show respect for those in charge no matter how crazy they can sound (and maybe even write a song about them). 

 3. Engage with maturity don’t expel with immaturity  

It’s hard when we don’t get our own way.  My kids have taught me that.  They throw a tantrum, hit, throw and scream.  That’s what immaturity fosters.  Maturity provokes civility, conversation and peaceful discourse.  When we choose to riot, rebel and resist, it communicates a message to others that is immature.  God wants us to be mature as Christians.  Not just mature but “Christlike.” 

For God called you to do good, even if it means suffering, just as Christ suffered for you. He is your example, and you must follow in his steps. He never sinned, nor ever deceived anyone.

He did not retaliate when he was insulted, nor threaten revenge when he suffered. He left his case in the hands of God, who always judges fairly. 1 Peter 2:21-23

It’s tempting to bully behind your keyboard and tweetstorm.  But it would be far more valuable to donate your time, financial contributions or professional skill-sets to an organize your community (life group, small group, facebook group, book club, etc) and find where you can be a resource of information and a steward of conversation. Many people feel like they can’t get involved because they don’t know where to start. Just find a door of opportunity and start the conversation.

4. Instead of creating walls, create opportunities

Jesus chose to go into difficult places, not avoid them.  He was seen with the marginalized, the broken and the hurting.  He was a friend of drunks, sexual deviants, outcasts, etc.  He was more pro-woman than any political figure in history considering the context of the first century.  He was more “politically right” with his beliefs about Scripture, loving the religious, supporting the Roman military and leading with charity.  He also was more “liberal” with the way He chose to love:  Jesus fed the hungry, reached out cross-culturally, identified with the poor, loved the religious and fought for the outsider.  , etc.  He chose to live by breaking down walls.  When we break down walls and come together with those who are different than us, we show the world that we are His disciples and that Jesus is who He said He is (John 17).    

5. Live in the “in-between” 

We know a lot lately about not wanting to live in the “upside-down.”  But do you know about living in the “in-between.”  The in-between is that space between the extremes  of faith and politics.  Here’s what I mean.  Take Matthew and Simon.  These are two of Jesus disciples.   Jesus recruited Simon the zealot (essentially and anti-government, religious radical) to be on his team and Matthew (a pledged allegiance to the Roman government employee).  Jesus showed us all that two people on polar opposites of the political spectrum can live and love in community together.  We will always be surrounded by these two sides: those who “share my faith but don’t agree with my politics” and those who “share my political view but don’t agree with my faith.”  How you live in-between will determine how you honor. 

6. “Pump the breaks” on conditional honoring  

We are quick to dismiss others who don’t agree with our political views, parenting views, etc. We seem to have drifted into a conversational norm of “ I will respect you if you respect me but if we disagree then ‘screw you.’”  People are going to disagree with you.  Simply writing them off and calling them a name or putting a label on them doesn’t make us better as a community. Just because you don’t agree with them doesn’t mean they aren’t human.  God wants us to honor all people (1 Peter 2:17).  Honor is not emotional response but is meant to be a humble response.  Even Jesus who was being dishonord by everyone around him who was deserving of honor but received none, chose the higher road and we should too:

“Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too. You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had. Though he was God, he did not think of equality with God as something to cling to. Instead, he gave up his divine privileges; he took the humble position of a slave and was born as a human being, he humbled himself in obedience to God and died a criminal’s death on a cross. Therefore, God elevated him to the place of highest honor and gave him the name above all other names.” Philippians 2: 3-9

7. Submission to authorities not subversion of authorities

Imagine being forced to live under a political leadership you didn’t vote for and completely despised.  Some of us would say, “lived it for 8 years” and some would say “living it right now.”  In Daniel, four young and ambitious leaders found themselves living under and working under an administration that was different than what they believed in.  The administration was enforcing rules that was against the convictions these young people believed.  Rather than rebelling and resisting, these young people took a different approach:  they honored their leadership about the expectations, the rules and regulations they didn’t agree with: 

[Daniel] asked the chief of staff for permission not to eat these unacceptable foods. Now God had given the chief of staff both respect and affection for Daniel. …Whenever the king consulted them in any matter requiring wisdom and balanced judgment, he found them ten times more capable (Daniel 1:8-9, 20).

The result of responding the right way gave them more political and relational clout than they ever could have imagined.  Instead of just protesting and screaming at the sky, what if we chose to have rational discourse with those in charge over us?   We may have the right to protest, but is it the right thing to do right now in your disagreement? 

Anything else you would add?

One Way To Navigate the Overwhelming Political Climate

I’m fully aware of what’s happening in our country right now.  How can you not be?  There is a lot of vitriol and division in the hearts of our country.  There’s a lot of anger in the voices of our conversations.  There is a lot of emotion.  As the church, we are called to be peacemakers in times of disagreement. As Christian’s we are empowered to bring unity to division because that’s where God’s blessing is commanded (Psalm 133).  

Our country is severely divided and the church should be one of the places where we bring unity.  And we need unity at a time when we are easily saying and loosely throwing around strong, divisive words like “racist”, “white supremacist”, “fascist”, “bigot”, “hate speech” and other highly charged and offensive words.  While these have been and still are ugly themes in humanity’s past and present, I have to talk about a word that I haven’t heard thrown around amongst all the lively conversations and this word is the word… “honor.” 

“While we can and should feel strongly about our political and social issues as followers of Jesus, we are called to a higher place of authority and respect.”

Cultures and communities can go toxic.  History proves that.   I believe that bringing honor into a situation is one of the ways to cultivate to remove the toxicity and add dignity, consideration and reverence.  Why do I believe this?  Because honor is the culture of heaven.  As a matter of fact, it’s one of the 4 words that is on the “musac” of heaven according to the book of Revelation,   

And then I heard every creature in heaven and on earth and under the earth and in the sea. They sang: "Blessing and honor and glory and power belong to the one sitting on the throne and to the Lamb forever and ever."  Revelation 5:13

If you want to make a point in a song, then sing it over and over again.  In other words, honor is a big deal to God.  If it’s on the eternal playlist then it should be on our minds often, too. If so, why do we as Christians find it hard to give honor?  I think part of the reason is we don’t know what honor is.  It’s a lost art in our modern era.  Have you been on your Facebook feed recently?  It doesn’t take long to spot a political or social rant because social media has become the “go-to” place to be dishonorable, to mock and insult those in authority that we disagree with. 

While we can and should feel strongly about our political and social issues as followers of Jesus, we are called to a higher place of authority and respect. Whether we agree or disagree with those around us, in showing honor to others, we are respecting God (1 Samuel 2:30).  Not only is it the right thing to do but it can be one of the most powerful ways to show the world the authenticity of our faith. 

Honoring is hard.  It’s easy to honor others who are honorable.   It’s a lot harder to honor the dishonorable.  If they aren’t worthy of it, we don’t want to show them respect and in many cases we insult them.  God doesn’t put conditions on our honor of others.  As a matter of fact, it’s quite the contrary. Whether from parent to politician, the Bible makes it crystal clear:

Honor all people. Love the brotherhood. Fear God. Honor the king. (1 Peter 2:17)

God has made it clear to us in the New Testament that we must honor all people. Not just those we agree with, but everyone. To honor is “to value, see as weighty and precious” and it also carries the meaning of “respect” and “reverence.”  To honor and respect someone is to see them as valuable.  Plain and simple.  If we are ALL considered creations of God, then we are ALL valuable.  Which means even the most offensive of people deserves to be heard and respected.  When we don’t see others as valuable, we feel we have the right to be disrespectful, yell, destroy and hurt others.  If you find yourself thinking you are more valuable than the other on the screen in front of you, across the table near you or next door to you, then you are in danger of being dishonorable and well…kind of a jerk. 

Not only are we to honor everyone, but we are to honor those in charge (… “honor the king” ) Webster defines honor as “to revere, respect; to treat with deference and submission, and perform relative duties to.” From this definition, we see that submission to authority is an aspect of honor as well. To say we honor authority, yet we choose to not practice submission to teachers, police, political powers, parents, etc. then we are missing it, completely. 

“For some reason, there is a Kingdom strength in honor that releases heaven on earth to make a difference than a protest or march ever could.”

We are in a heated political season.  Ok, so the Holiday’s might have been awkward. Your “fox news” family will be sitting next to “I’m with her.”  There is two ways to look at this:  it can be either difficult or you can see this as an opportunity to live countercultural to the typical partisan spin is around us.  I think Christians should be the most spiritually refreshing of all people no matter who is in charge. And here’s why: because the Christian community is positioned to pray for those in charge of our institutions and government.  As long we aren’t being asked to sin against God, following Jesus includes submitting to and praying for all of our public authorities.

Jesus knew how to love and serve the government when they weren’t in charge and feeling the effects of a political power that didn’t seem fair.  During Christ’s life on earth, the New Testament Christians were routinely marginalized, persecuted and even put to death by the Roman state. Even though this was the “normal” for the Jesus’ community, honoring and cooperating with and praying for the Roman officials was part of being a follower of Jesus.  That’s why Peter’s plea to “honor all men” and “honor the king” was the right thing to do and yet so counter-cultural in his day and ours, too.  But it’s hard to honor leaders when they are dishonorable.  Yet, Jesus was not protesting against the government when He didn’t agree but was submitting to all Roman authorities in compliance.  Even when His followers wanted Him to riot because the authorities were being dishonest and unjust, Jesus chose not to resist but to submit to their rule (John 18:11-15).  Even in Peter and Paul’s context, Nero is on the throne and Christians are being thrown to the lions and burned at the stake. It seems like an ideal time to fight back.  But that is not what Peter and Paul teaches the Christians to do. They tell them to submit to the unjust authorities in leadership.  Jesus, Peter and Paul (3 of the most well-known leaders in Christendom) spoke words of honoring those in authority:

Jesus honored by saying: “give to Caesar what belongs to Caesar, and give to God what belongs to God.”  (Mark 12:17)

Peter honored by saying: “For the Lord’s sake, submit to all human authority—whether the king as head of state, or the officials he has appointed. (1 Peter 2:13-14)

Paul honored by saying: “Everyone must submit to governing authorities. For all authority comes from God, and those in positions of authority have been placed there by God. So anyone who rebels against authority is rebelling against what God has instituted.  (Romans 13:1-2)

Jesus knew the Kingdom of God was more powerful than the rulers and political climate of this world.  For some reason, there is a Kingdom strength in honor that releases heaven on earth to make a difference than a protest or march ever could.  In the midst of personal and political violence and disagreement, three of Christendom’s most powerful influences (Jesus, Peter and Paul) chose the dignity of others instead of disruption of others.  They choose to bless instead of blame.  They chose honoring others instead of hastling others. 

 As young people, one of the hardest emotions we have to manage is our passion for justice. More than ever we are a generation that desires to “right wrongs” that are happening in the world around us.  And that’s a good thing!  However, there are times when our passion for justice overides our command to honor.  Jesus chose to honor first before bringing justice to the world and we should do the same.  Perhaps we should leave the justice to God because God is leaving  the honoring to us. 

 But I’m fully aware that it’s not as easy as were saying. So, how do we honor those God has put over us when we don’t agree with them?  Here some suggestions: 

Stop labeling each other and start learning from each other

Christians can fall into the trap of dishonoring others whose political beliefs or ideas are different.  Left-leaning Christians engage in rhetoric that labels our right-leaning authorities as anti-poor, anti-woman, anti-immigrant and so on.  Right-leaning Christians can label our democratic friends on the left as anti-capitalist, anti-white, anti-baby, anti-cop, etc.   What if we labeled each other as human beings?  What if we saw each other as creations of God?  Those labels give us a starting point to engage with others that isn’t political but personal to God.  They give us permission to accept each other despite our political positions so we can listen to each other rather than scream at each other.  Pursue the right perspective of each other before pursuing the right to push back against each other.  Your perspective of who you are is the best starting point to engage others where they are at. 

“Pump the breaks” on conditional honoring  

We are quick to dismiss others who don’t agree with our political views, parenting views, etc. We seem to have drifted into a conversational norm of “ I will respect you if you respect me but if we disagree then ‘screw you.’”  People are going to disagree with you.  Simply writing them off and calling them a name or putting a label on them doesn’t make us better as a community. Just because you don’t agree with them doesn’t mean they aren’t human.  God wants us to honor all people (1 Peter 2:17).  Honor is not emotional response but is meant to be a humble response.  Even Jesus who was being dishonord by everyone around him who was deserving of honor but received none, chose the higher road and we should too:

“Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too. You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had. Though he was God, he did not think of equality with God as something to cling to. Instead, he gave up his divine privileges; he took the humble position of a slave and was born as a human being, he humbled himself in obedience to God and died a criminal’s death on a cross. Therefore, God elevated him to the place of highest honor and gave him the name above all other names.” Philippians 2: 3-9

Being disagreeable doesn’t mean being dishonorable 

When the actions of your leadership disagrees with your view of what leadership is, you have a choice to make.  Young David, an up-and-coming leader became successful and did everything right with those around him.  Even with those who were in authority over him.  King Saul, a political and spiritual leader that David reported to, chose to be irrational and dysfunctional.  To the point of wanting to kill David.  How would you honor a man who relentlessly sought to kill you? David had an understanding of the authority.  That God puts kings in charge and he knew that God had established making Saul king (1 Sam. 9:15-16). While Saul was his political leader, David’s honor for Saul was seen through is “honor lens” every day.  Every response by David towards Saul’s rants and ravages revealed to others how not only how much David loved God by how much he honored.  David spared Saul's life in the cave (1 Sam. 24:4-22) and again on the field of war while Saul was sleeping (1 Sam. 26:1-12) until finally this irrational ruler was defeated in battle and fell upon his own sword.  David not only grieved his death, prayed and fasted but wrote a song about his fallen leadership (2 Sam. 1:17-27). Instead of recounting all of Saul's weaknesses, the song he wrote actually recounted his honor.  Whenever possible, show respect for those in charge no matter how crazy they can sound (and maybe even write a song about them). 

Engage with maturity don’t expel with immaturity  

It’s hard when we don’t get our own way.  My kids have taught me that.  They throw a tantrum, hit, throw and scream.  That’s what immaturity fosters.  Maturity provokes civility, conversation and peaceful discourse.  When we choose to riot, rebel and resist, it communicates a message to others that is immature.  God wants us to be mature as Christians.  Not just mature but “Christlike.” 

For God called you to do good, even if it means suffering, just as Christ suffered for you. He is your example, and you must follow in his steps. He never sinned, nor ever deceived anyone.

He did not retaliate when he was insulted, nor threaten revenge when he suffered. He left his case in the hands of God, who always judges fairly. 1 Peter 2:21-23

It’s tempting to bully behind your keyboard and tweetstorm.  But it would be far more valuable to donate your time, financial contributions or professional skill-sets to an organize your community (life group, small group, facebook group, book club, etc) and find where you can be a resource of information and a steward of conversation. Many people feel like they can’t get involved because they don’t know where to start. Just find a door of opportunity and start the conversation.

Instead of creating walls, create opportunities

Jesus chose to go into difficult places, not avoid them.  He was seen with the marginalized, the broken and the hurting.  He was a friend of drunks, sexual deviants, outcasts, etc.  He was more pro-woman than any political figure in history considering the context of the first century.  He was more “politically right” with his beliefs about Scripture, loving the religious, supporting the Roman military and leading with charity.  He also was more “liberal” with the way He chose to love:  Jesus fed the hungry, reached out cross-culturally, identified with the poor, loved the religious and fought for the outsider.  , etc.  He chose to live by breaking down walls.  When we break down walls and come together with those who are different than us, we show the world that we are His disciples and that Jesus is who He said He is (John 17).    

Live in the “in-between” 

We know a lot lately about not wanting to live in the “upside-down.”  But do you know about living in the “in-between.”  The in-between is that space between the extremes  of faith and politics.  Here’s what I mean.  Take Matthew and Simon.  These are two of Jesus disciples.   Jesus recruited Simon the zealot (essentially and anti-government, religious radical) to be on his team and Matthew (a pledged allegiance to the Roman government employee).  Jesus showed us all that two people on polar opposites of the political spectrum can live and love in community together.  We will always be surrounded by these two sides: those who “share my faith but don’t agree with my politics” and those who “share my political view but don’t agree with my faith.”  How you live in-between will determine how you honor. 

Submission to authorities not subversion of authorities

Imagine being forced to live under a political leadership you didn’t vote for and completely despised.  Some of us would say, “lived it for 8 years” and some would say “living it right now.”  In Daniel, four young and ambitious leaders found themselves living under and working under an administration that was different than what they believed in.  The administration was enforcing rules that was against the convictions these young people believed.  Rather than rebelling and resisting, these young people took a different approach:  they honored their leadership about the expectations, the rules and regulations they didn’t agree with: 

[Daniel] asked the chief of staff for permission not to eat these unacceptable foods. Now God had given the chief of staff both respect and affection for Daniel. …Whenever the king consulted them in any matter requiring wisdom and balanced judgment, he found them ten times more capable (Daniel 1:8-9, 20).

The result of responding the right way gave them more political and relational clout than they ever could have imagined.  Instead of just protesting and screaming at the sky, what if we chose to have rational discourse with those in charge over us?   We may have the right to protest, but is it the right thing to do right now in your disagreement? 

Anything else you would add?

Why Your Will Power Is Never Going To Give You What You're Hoping For

I’m pretty self-sufficient when I need to be.  Take my apple remote for example.  I love my apple remote.  It’s so easy.  It’s got minimal buttons.  It’s got a special spot.  I secretly call my remote “Donatello” and we spend a lot of quality time together. So when I get home and I want to watch Netflix, I expect Donatello to do his job.  Recently Donatello didn’t respond and we got problems.  I’m pressing buttons, pushing the buttons, leaning into the tv, etc.  Finally getting up to actually turn the channel myself.  Perfect…I apparently time traveled back to 1982 when we didn’t have remotes.  I almost woke my son up and had him start to change the channels for me so he could start “earning” his allowance again, when I realized my wife had tapped into the "spirit of Christmas" a little too much and put a “pinecone” in front of my sensor of my tv.  That misalignment of the remote to the TV was all it took for me to lose that connection and manually get up and change the channel wrecking my perfect "blanket burrito" I had tucked myself into for the night.  All I needed to do was realign my remote to the TV and power would have been restored.   I’ve realized when we try to do things in our own strength and will, we keep pressing harder, pushing harder, doing it in our own strength, etc.  A will "powered" by me gets the job done but is there another way?  Absolutely there is. 

Our culture celebrates will power:   I WILL succeed, I WILL survive, I WILL workout, I WILL not give up, I WILL not give in, etc.  But “will power” by God’s definition is different than our culture.  It’s the difference between "determination" and "inspiration."  The will power that our culture tends to celebrate that is found in ourselves is fueled by “determination.” Webster's defines determination as "the act or an instance of making a decision; the condition of being determined; resoluteness; the act or an instance of ending an argument by the opinion ordecision of an authority"...that authority being me.  

But there is another source of will power that is found and fueled by “inspiration.”  Inspiration comes from the word "enspiren" meaning "to fill the mind and heart with grace" or "to inflame or to blow into."  My point…it’s less about “will power” and more about “God’s will.”  What if instead of trying to find your will power to stay pure, devoted and committed, you simply aligned yourself to God’s will power.  I might say it this way: 

“Exchange your will power for God’s will to power.”

Meaning It’s less about "mustering up" and "white knuckling" will power and it’s more about "aligning yourself" and "surrendering yourself" to God’s will to "power" your life forward. 

When we exchange our will power for God’s will to power us this happens:

Our job doesn’t stay a “grind” anymore but we rediscover our purpose and become empowered and excited to make a difference with our 40+ hours a week

Our friendships become opportunities for restoration and affirmation to move each other forward into God’s future for us both

Our purity becomes less of “what” I can’t do and instead “who” I get to spend time with which is a loving God who has a beautiful life of for us to live of freedom and grace

Our family doesn’t become a burden but blessing as we discover we are placed in our families to influence and inspire

“Repentance is turning from sin (our approval of us)  and moving forward into God’s grace (God’s approval of us). ”

This power is best seen in Jesus life.  One of the most potent moments in the Bible is when Jesus is in the Garden and He knows the cross is coming.  Jesus would have grown up seeing crucifixions as a kid.  It was the Roman’s form of capital punishment and many who were in Jerusalem would have known and seen crucifixions.  So when Jesus is in the garden, he probably was recalling the shame, the humiliation and pain that comes from being crucified.  That’s why in the garden we see Jesus in the garden sweating blood and making the agonizing phrase,

"Father, if you are willing, please take this cup of suffering away from me. Yet I want your will to be done, not mine."  Luke 22:42. 

Jesus was wrestling with His own battle of wills.  If He had it His way in that brief moment, His humanity was attempting to override the plan since the beginning of time.  He didn’t want the suffering.  No one would!  Yet He knew it wasn’t His choice.  It was the Father’s will that needed to be accomplished.  Jesus chose in that moment to exchange his human will for God’s Divine will to be done.  Jesus wasn’t overcome with a “holy brainwashing” but He chose in that moment to exchange His will power for God’s will to power Him through the cross.  The bible calls this power “exousia” or "the power of choice."  We see this power best in John when Jesus is revealing to His disciples He is God and that He is choosing to lay down His life so the disciples and all of humanity can have true life,

For this reason the Father loves Me, because I lay down My life that I may take it up again.  No man takes it from me, but I lay it down of Myself. I have power to lay it down, and I have power to take it again. This commandment have I received of my Father.  JOHN 10:18

Jesus chose to bend his will to God’s will.  Jesus was fully human and limited.  He modeled what it means to rely on God in difficult moments when you want to choose your way  instead of choosing God’s way.  He was dependent on God for every decision, every choice and every temptation but didn’t sin (Hebrews 4:15).  And we can be too! We can be tempted to live and do things are own way.  At the end of the day, that is sin.  Or in other words, missing God's "mark" or "will" for our lives.  But God gives us a way out to always have a road to choose when faced with the option to choose us or God:  

The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure.  1 Corinthians 10:13

Isn’t that repentance?  It’s turning from sin (our approval of us)  and moving forward into God’s grace (God's approval of us). The best way to overcome the temptation and choose God's will is to follow the one who always overcame temptation and always chose God's will.  That's Jesus.  So seek Christ.  Worship.  Pray. Fill your room with the praises of Christ.  Seek the cross.  Love God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength. I guarantee it is a lot harder to “miss God’s will for your life”  when you’ve got Jesus Culture playing in your room with your Bible on your bed and a Scripture graphic on your phone.  Our will is going to do everyting in it’s power ot sabotauge us and derail us from what God’s plan is for us.  Our weaknesses, pride and lusts of life will get us off track.  So choose God’s will.  Pursue God’s will. 

If lust says “I want it” then

let pursuit say “I want God.”  

If pride says, “I got this on my own”

then let pursuit say “I got God and He’s with me.”  

If weakness says “I can’t do it, I wanna give up”

then let pursuit say, “God can do it" because of Grace and His strength made perfect in my weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9). 

“It’s less about ‘mustering up’ and ‘white knuckling’ will power and it’s more about ‘aligning yourself’ and ‘surrendering yourself’ to God’s will to ‘power’ your life forward.”

I’ve said this before but what if we saw Holiness as not "what I can't do" ... but "who I'm with." God says "be Holy as I am Holy" not "do holy like I do Holy" (1 Peter 1:15-16; Leviticus 20:26). You become like who you spend the most time with.  So spend time with God in prayer, in church, in community life, in settings where God is lifted up.  The world says it’s about "what's in you" but God says it's about "who's with you."  

One thing I ask from the LORD, this only do I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze on the beauty of the LORD and to seek him...." Psalm 27:4

“What if we saw Holiness as not “what I can’t do” but instead as “who I’m with.” ”

It’s not just about stopping bad behaviors  but it's also about starting new ones. So make a choice today to "exchange your will power for God's will to power you."  

Any other thoughts you would add?

Stop Giving Up On Faith To Find Sex

I wish the church would talk more about sex.  It’s in the Bible.  We are quick to talk about how much God hates beer or how much God loves Chris Tomlin-err-I mean praises from His people.  But God loves sex.  Sounds weird and you might seem weirded out.  Just hold on and take a breath.  I'm saying sex is created by God for us and we aren’t jumping at the chance to talk about what a healthy sexual relationships looks like in the context of a thriving, God-centered marriage.    Here’s what I have been talking about in my current contexts in my own conversations about sex:

The world CORRUPTS sex and perverts it.

Religion CONTEMPTS sex and shames it.

God CELEBRATES sex and affirms it.

So why don’t we create space in our relationships so we can celebrate what God has given us in for our community with honesty about what God created and designed us for?  God gave us a sex drive.  Plain and simple.   God does not want to mute your sex drive like the "pings" on our iphone but instead God desires for you to master it and direct it in a positive direction to show the world how good God is and why God can be trusted with our sex lives.

“ Our sexuality is something that we have in common with every human being…despite their faith background or belief system. ”

This invitation for us to engage conversations, whether it’s opposite sex or same sex attraction, is our chance to express the love of Christ, the acceptance of God in the midst of shame, the belonging to community and the restoration of creation back to the creator. 

In our society, how you feel determines who you are.  That is not only dangerous but also completely not true.  How you feel doesn’t dictate who you are.  If you have a feeling of “I hate them” doesn’t mean you should live out a lifestyle of hate towards that person or situation the rest of your life.  You are supposed to forgive. 

“In our society, how you feel determines who you are...that is not only dangerous but also completely not true. ”

Just because you feel like a “slut” after an unwanted sexual encounter doesn’t mean that’s who you are.  The power of forgiveness in Jesus compels you to be forgiven and from that moment forward compel you to live a life of waiting for the right person in the context of marriage.   

Just because you feel "attracted to the same sex" doesn’t mean you’re gay.   You may have a longing to be with other guys because you lacked acceptance and affirmation from other men in your life.  Nothing wrong with wanting to be with guys that you can be yourself with and be vulnerable with in the context of an intimate healthy friendship.  But culture takes that "void feeling" and twists it into you think you need to be sexually intimate with the same sex to feel affirmation and validation.  No, a healthy community will affirm you and remind you who you are who God design you to be.

“This desire for intimacy is so strong that it compels some to give up on their Christian beliefs to find intimacy.  That’s why casual sex, living together, etc are higher than it’s ever been with those who profess a Christian faith.  ”

Just because you feel like you "love them and it just seems right" doesn't mean that you move in with them.  Of course you will feel emotionally connected to your significant other but don't alter your life by moving in with them just because of how you feel.  True love and emotional connection is an intentionality that sets you up for a long sustainability through marriage, commitment, healthy community with similar values on what love and marriage is like, etc.  

You have to remember that your feelings and your temptations are not your identity.  The world says to “look inside you” to find out who you are.  Instead, look to your creator and see how God desires you to function.  We as Christians look to a point outside of ourselves to measure and validate our feelings.  Tim Keller attacks this ideas by saying, “our culture presses its’ members to believe you have to ‘be yourself’ that sexual desires are crucial to a personality identity that any curving strong sexual desires leads to psychological damage.’”   Keller is exposing the lie that to feel satisfied you have act on your feelings to find yourself and be yourself.  We can’t rely on our feelings as the only reliable source to identify who we are sexually.  We have to look to who God made us to be to fully understand how we can function in a healthy way.  Culture brings chaos to our sexuality but Christ brings a simplicity and an order to a very complicated construct. 

Someone said recently, “We can live without sex, but we can’t live without intimacy.”  Intimacy with the next generation is a potent wood the midst of severe abandonment with divorce and lack of fathers making  true intimacy an apologetic that our culture would respond powerfully to. We have to be aware that there is a longing for intimacy with other people which is felt the strongest when expressed through sex.  Intimacy is emotional, relational and most of the times sexual. Our Biblical faith has a sexual ethic that is very clear:  sex is created by God between a man and a woman in a covenantal marriage.  We must resist the desire to rush to the sexual intimacy part of our lives prematurely or we create dysfunction.

“You have to remember that your feelings and your temptations are not your identity.  ”

Christians are looking for Biblical ways to satisfy the desire for lifelong companionship.  This desire for intimacy is so strong that it compels some to give up on their Christian beliefs to find intimacy.  That's why casual sex, living together, etc are higher than it's ever been with those who profess a Christian faith.  The Christian community must walk with those who are struggling sexually and affirm healthy relationships through positive and healthy environments. When you are aware of all of the sexual dysfunction and longing for intimacy, you can start unpacking all of the sexual assumptions of our culture, you have an opportunity to show the world a God who cares not just about our future but the very practical part of life like our sex lives.

Throughout my ministry career I have worked in the restaurant world.  One of the staff who I've had the privilege to work with who I’ll call Kelsie, knew I was a pastor and found it fascinating that I was working as a server.  She asked me one day at work that was both an honest question but also seemed to monitor “my reaction” as a Christian and spiritual leader by asking, “Alan, my friend with benefits stopped having sex with me and now I don’t have someone to meet my needs…what should I do?”  I had two choices in that moment on that Friday Night as we were closing the restaurant.  The first could be to point out how sex outside of marriage is wrong and that she should turn her life over to Jesus (which are sincere motives for any follower of Christ but in a“right idea wrong execution” kind of way).  The other choice was to begin a dialogue and focus on her “intimacy” and using the context of her “sexuality” as a place to dialogue with her and asking questions like: “What is it about this guy that you like?”; “Why haven’t you made a commitment to him?”; “How is your relationship not fulfilling to you?”; “Give me one quality of an ideal guy for you”; etc.  Then I began to talk about how my relationship works with Heidi and I for 19 years as we choose to put each others needs before our own and how that is modeled in the Bible, loving and respecting, waiting till marriage for sex, etc.  This conversation moved me to dialogue with her further about her faith.  I found out her parents were involved in a cult and she was very hesitant towards Christians and faith.  I got to talk to her about Jesus and she became one of my favorite people at work. 

It’s not “just about sex” with this generation of young believers and non-believers but about true intimacy.  How do I connect and be vulnerable with someone?  How can someone fulfill my needs and should they fulfill my needs?, etc.   Christians who are living out a Biblical sexual ethic are real examples of what God intended from the beginning.  A true understanding of what you believe what the Bible says about sex and also understanding the pain bad sexual relationships can cause makes you a beautiful example of obedience on display and one of the best expressions of evangelism in our culture.

“The Christian community must walk with those who are struggling sexually and affirm healthy relationships through positive and healthy environments. ”

The enemy in our culture distorts some our relationships to a place that some of us eventually believe that “to be ‘intimate with someone you have to have sex with them.”  There are relationships in the Bible that were very intimate but that were not sexual:  David and Jonathan (1 Samuel 18:1); Ruth and Naomi (Ruth 1:16); Paul and Barnabus (Acts 11 & 13); Mary and Mary (Mark 16:1-10); Peter, James and John (Matthew 17:1), etc.  Intimacy is critical for spiritual formation and spiritual forward motion but not all intimacy needs a sexual bond. 

How you manage your “sexual appetite” determines your community success and spiritual success.  You have sexual desires given to you by God that is constantly being stirred up.  Culture is constantly promoting a variety of sexual activities and we have to learn to manage our sex drives as followers of Christ for not just our own spiritual and community health but to be an example to others in culture.   When we can talk about our sexuality in healthy faith communities, it sets up the new young Christian to have a strong ability to overcome the temptation, not if but when the temptation comes.  The reality is this:  Whoever teaches you about sex first, their advice and information becomes the foundation.  That foundation is now the measuring piece against “new information.”  This is why it’s so critical to empower pastors and parents to dialogue early about this critical developmental stage in the life of young believers. 

As we said earlier, we are all sexual beings.  Our sexuality is something that we have in common with every human being…despite their faith background or belief system.  That’s why I really believe our sexuality in culture is prime to be the new apologetic.   We as followers of Christ can use our own sexuality as common space and common opportunity to talk about God, our origin story, our identity, how we relate, and bring a place to speak beautifully about Jesus with others.  

5 Ways To Make Your Life Less Complicated

I just want to find the balance between work and home.  School and family.  Church and friends.  Name the conflict and you have probably desired the balance needed to make peace with your competing priorities..  But did you find it?  Did you sustain it?  The answer is probably no. And if you did…it didn’t take long to lose your balance again.    

Maybe the reason we don’t find sustainable balance is because the idea of “balance” doesn’t exist.  It doesn’t exist because I would argue that life can’t be balanced. I look in the Bible, and there is no reference to trying to find and maintain balance.   I look to Jesus and many actually thought he was out of balance on many occasions. 

I am going to burst a traditional bubble here.  Although it’s no question God is of upmost importance and his family meant a lot to Jesus, He didn’t seem to live with the mantra of “God first; family second; and work third.” I don’t know where we got this idea but Jesus didn’t seem to live this way.  Jesus’ family was not always more important than His ministry. Three Gospels give us a snapshot into the life of Jesus when He is teaching great crowds and his mother and brothers show up and ask him to finish ministry and come home.  See the Scriptures below:

 “As Jesus was speaking to the crowd, his mother and brothers were outside, wanting to talk with him. Someone told Jesus, “’Your mother and your brothers are outside, and they want to speak to you.’” Matthew 12:46-47 (NLT).

Upon hearing this request, Jesus refuses to even come to the door. Why? Because He was in the middle of His work! But that didn’t mean that in the middle of critical ministry Jesus wasn’t aware of the needs of His family.  While on the cross, Jesus was very concerned about the care of his mother and his closest disciple:

“When Jesus saw his mother there, and the disciple whom he loved standing nearby, he said to his mother, “Dear woman, here is your son,” and to the disciple, “Here is your mother.” John 19:26-27 (NIV).

My point is this:  instead of shuffling between two competing loyalties that must be balanced, what if we saw them as a complementary rhythm.  Instead of trying to priortitize the “pie slices” of your life what if we made it about the whole pie.   What if we moved it from being “Jesus then family then work” to being simply Jesus and me, family, work, etc.  Because if it’s “Jesus and…” then my life simplifies into one simple pursuit of Jesus.  Jesus becomes my whole life and not a slice of life.  Because if I simply make Jesus my focus, then Jesus gets my attention and my family, work, ministry etc automatically gets my affection ALL at once.   

Choose these 5 words to simplify your life:

1. Cadence (not balance)

God gives us a cadence or in other words a “rthythm” and it’s called grace.  As mentioned earlier, there is a beautiful rhythmic flow to life when we discover that when I simply love Jesus that I acquire a “pace” with life that doesn’t leave me stressed out or fatigued.  When I think of the different parts of my life that I need to manage, it can become overwhelming to me.  The difference is that I start trying to maintain balance with God rather than walking with God.  If I’m not walking with the cadence of Jesus, the important parts of my life become annoyances, inconveniences and distractions.  In other words, my relationships start to annoy me, my ministry becomes an inconvenience and my job becomes a distraction.  Nothing seems right. But there's good news when Jesus gives us rhythm.  Jesus says it best, 

28-30 “Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”  Matthew 11:28-30

2. Synergize (not prioritize)

Priorities are real.  They are everywhere.  When it comes to key areas of self, work, relationships, church, family, etc. these areas are not just uniquely connected, and are also at times uniquely in opposition to each other at times.  While being loyal to these priorities, it’s critical we cooperate with these priorities. This synthesization of these commitments is not impossible.  Jesus doesn't want you to be concerned about your priorities because He knows what you need and what to do:

“If I’m not walking with the cadence of Jesus, the important parts of my life become annoyances, inconveniences and distractions-my relationships start to annoy me, my ministry becomes an inconvenience and my job becomes a distraction.  ”

Don’t be concerned about what you eat, drink, etc…don’t worry about such things.  These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers all over the world but your Father already knows your needs.  Seek the Kingdom fo God above all else and He will give you everything you need.”  Luke 12:29-31. 

God puts your priorities in order by saying, “above all else.”  Many things trying to get our attention but there is one that is far ahove them all (Ephesians 1:21) so when you seek the one thing he gives you everyting. 

3. Harmonize (not equalize)

Harmony is when things are in agreement.  Think music for a second.  It’s not one note but different notes that are exclusive but come together to make a beautiful sound.  No great composer chooses to give equal time to each note in the scale.  The composer chooses to position the notes together so they can work together to create a moving melody.  The best harmony comes from alignment to the melody and that melody is the Father’s will (Luke 2:49).  When Jesus had competing priotrities of family, ministry and life, the Josheph and Mary heard noise but Jesus made a beautiful harmony that was God’s perfect will for everyone.

“So I’ve stopped competing and started simply seeking because when I “seek first” I live a life of “first things first” which miraculously orders my life​​​​​​​.                                                    ”

4. Concession (not competition)

We love healthy competition…but not when it’s between two things we love.  Don’t make me choose between what I love to do and who I love to be with.  Because sometimes it simply can’t be either or.  I love to be a father and I love to be with my wife.  Both are important but don’t make me choose between them.  And why should we…they both are family so I "concede" and choose family because when I choose family I get both.  That's concession and the same is when following Jesus.   So I’ve stopped competing and started seeking.  Jesus made it simple by saying this, “Seek first the Kingdom of God and all these things will be added unto you" (Matthew 6:33).  So I’ve stopped competing and started simply seeking.  Because when I “seek first” I live a life of “first things first” which miraculously orders my life.                                                    

5. Faithfulness (not busyness)

We confuse busyness with progress.  We think activity is productivity.  Not always true.  In a culture that values action, Christ is more concerned about finding you faithful than busy.  Consider yourself blessed when you have a wife, kids, ministry, job, friends, etc.  These gifts are not responsibilities to be balanced but opportunities to be faithful.   Give yourself permission to be out of balance.  Whether you are a student, mom, entrepreneur, coach, teacher, father, pastor, leader…give yourself permission to be out of balance and respect the season. At the end of the day, success is obedience to God in it’s simplest form so be a faithful person not a busy person. 

3 Ways To Start and Keep Your God-Given Originality

Originality.

No one loves fake.  To be called a “phony” is not a compliment.  Even the word “bogus” sounds like an unwanted and sticky unknown "something" that should be flushed down the toilet.  But we love the words authenticity, humility and transparency.  While these words are critical and necessary, I would argue that originality is the most.

While living in DC I had the privilege of seeing many originals by many artists:  Leonardo da Vinci, Rembrandt van Rijn, Vincent Van Gogh, Claude Monet, Picasso, etc.  What made these moments significant to all of us in attendance is they are "originals."  They were authentic, genuine creations by these famous creators that were collected and on display for us to admire.  A few doors down there was also a giant, well-lit room with large crowds in it with wall to wall creations on display.  I love Claude Monet...and here there were many for me to look at and admire.    The only difference is that these were not real like the priceless paintings in Monet exhibit but replica’s.  These copies were souvenirs to collect to hang on dorm room walls, apartments and as inspiration for aspiring future artists.  Being an original makes you valuable.  Copies are cheap for a reason.

“Don’t be conformed to this world but be transformed to be a unique translation of God’s heart and voice in the world. ”

You can be a masterpiece or you can be mass-produced.  That’s why there is nothing more special to God than for you to be the you because that is what God is waiting for and what the world is looking for!  Original comes from the Latin word meaning, “the first in time.”  We could say it this way, “one of a kind.”  No one will ever be like you.  Your DNA is unique.  Your fingerprints only belong to you and no one else.  You were made to be different; to stand apart; to be a genuine expression of the creative mind and heart of God.  In a world that seems to celebrate conformity, God desires you to resist against conformity.  He wants you to be yourself!  Don’t be conformed to this world but be transformed to be a unique translation of God’s heart and voice in the world.  

While that sounds noble and powerful, being an original isn’t as easy as we think.  If we stopped to ask this question how would we answer:  Is this a safe place for me to be myself?  I think this is a question we will all ask ourselves eventually if we haven’t asked it yet.  This doesn’t mean it’s the right question to ask…but nonetheless it’s a critical question that we are asking when we are in a meeting, in the classroom, in the car, etc.  This is a question we must ask if we are going to be the original God has called us to be. 

If being an original is a good thing, then how do we start and keep our originality?

3 WAYS TO START AND KEEP YOUR GOD-GIVEN ORIGINALITY: 

 

1. BE CREATIVE:  Reclaim creativity by resisting the status quo. 

Sometimes we have to violate what we know as the standard to discover a new standard.  This misbehavior towards “the traditional” creates “a new normal.”  So be unconventional.  Be unusual.  Be unique.  Be “you-nique” because God thinks you are.  God says in Psalm 139:13-14, “I have been amazingly and miraculously made.  Your works are miraculous, and my soul is fully aware of this.”  You are a miracle.  You are amazing.  You are the first good idea.  From you come all the good (and bad) ideas necessary for you to be who you were meant to be and to do what God has called you to do.  Your good and bad ideas are a collective masterpiece of expressions that show the world there’s no one like you. 

“Maybe it’s less about being the first one with the beginning idea but it’s about being the one who has a better idea. ”

Adam Grantm from his book, Originals: How Non-Conformists Change the World, says this, “Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.”  You are worth keeping.  Your creativity is worth sharing.  Creativity isn’t perfection it’s inspiration. Inspiration comes from the Latin word “spirare” which means “to breathe.”  Inspiration is God breathing into you the creativity you need to break out.  Maybe it’s less about being the first one with the beginning idea but it’s about being the one who has a better idea.  The root of creativity is being able to clash instead of conform.  George Bernard Shaw says, “The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man.”

“Acting now when you fear what happens next sets you apart.”

2. BE VULNERABLE:  Openness is bravery. 

Vulnerability Isn’t weak to others but wonderful to others. I repeat, vulnerability doesn’t mean that you’re weak, it means that you’re brave enough to embrace the reality that you don’t have it all together but trust a God who holds it all together.  Authenticity reveals "this is who I am."  Vulnerability exposes "this is who I'm not."  Your vulnerability shapes your originality.  I’m great at putting on a great exterior.  But I’m bad at letting others look "under the hood" and see the dysfunction underneath.  But as I get older, I realize that being vulnerable with people is one of the most “freeing joys” that I have experienced with another person.   That’s why trying to adjust yourself according to who and what others want you to be is the exact opposite of freedom and it’s the least joyful.  When we try to be someone else to everyone else it’s simply wrong.  Because when we hide the “undesirable” parts of our lives, we are building our lives on a façade than a foundation.  Like a movie set, facades are shaky, flimsy and have an appearance but are just plywood and plastic.  Foundations are the real thing and when Christ is your foundation, then you have all the permission in the world to be yourself.  We are all deserving of love exactly as we because if Christ loves us and accepts us as we are then we should also (Romans 8:38-39). 

“vulnerability doesn’t mean that you’re weak, it means that you’re brave enough to embrace the reality that you don’t have it all together but trust a God who holds it all together.  ”

3. BE RISKY:   Sometimes it takes more than one time. 

When you fail you still keep doing it and then you become great at what you do. I would argue, failure is not even trying to get back up, but just quitting. You could have been so close, but you said, "this isn't going to work" so we give up.  Proverbs 24:16, says it like this, “ The righteous may fall seven times but still get up…” Most people give up but originality stand up...and take the risk.  Your commitment to see it through even when you fail puts you in a better position to see it through for your future.   Acting now when you fear what happens next sets you apart.  So, do it afraid and watch God move.   Consider Shakespeare: we’re most familiar with a small number of his classics, forgetting that in the span of two decades, he produced 37 creative, written works.  Mozart composed over 600 pieces before his death at 35 and Bach over a 1000 in his lifetime!  Picasso’s creative legacy is composed of over 17,800 paintings, sculptures, ceramics, and drawings, not to mention prints, rugs, and tapestries.  It’s less about you being perfect and more about you being willing to fail.  Because the more you fail, the more successful you become. 

I refuse to do this and maybe you should too

It’s possible to have a church that has good speeches, good music ensambles and good non-profit organization.  I won’t work there, build there or stay there.  I refuse to do Christianity without Christ.  I refuse to do church without power.  Otherwise I'm a manager simply running a non-profit organization.  While some do that well, tha'ts not what I am meant to do.  That would be a burden to me.  We weren't meant to burden a profession but to build a Kingdom.  God’s Kingdom. God’s Kingdom is not based on what we consume but what consumes us:

For the Kingdom of God is not a matter of what we eat or drink, but of living a life of goodness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit.”  Romans 14:17

When the Holy Spirit takes over our lives, there are clear distinctions of what matters and what doesn’t to God.  There are clear distinctions of what God-centered, Holy Spirit infused leaders look and act like and there are clear distinctions of what “me-centered”, Holy Spirit Insuffiecient leaders look and act like.  The church of Corinth in the Book of 1 Corinthians had the same problem.  There were many teachers, good speech writers, brilliant communicators but lacking the experience of the power of God that endorsed Jesus and his followers.  See the Scripture below: 

14 I am not writing these things to shame you, but to warn you as my beloved children. 15 For even if you had ten thousand others to teach you about Christ, you have only one spiritual father. For I became your father in Christ Jesus when I preached the Good News to you. 16 So I urge you to imitate me. 17 That’s why I have sent Timothy, my beloved and faithful child in the Lord. He will remind you of how I follow Christ Jesus, just as I teach in all the churches wherever I go. 18 Some of you have become arrogant, thinking I will not visit you again.19 But I will come—and soon—if the Lord lets me, and then I’ll find out whether these arrogant people just give pretentious speeches or whether they really have God’s power. 20 For the Kingdom of God is not just a lot of talk; it is living by God’s power. 21 Which do you choose?  1 Corinthians 4:14-15

God called them out.  The congregation in Corinth had "arrogant leaders" with "pretentious speeches."  Some versions of the Bible call these leaders “puffed up.”  And God is concerned and speaks to Paul to “do something about it.”  

“As spiritual leaders to the next generation, let’s be less “informational firehoses” to those we are leading and be more “inspirational fires” to those who are following.  ”

So what does God do?  God makes a distinction in verse 15 by using these terms:  “teachers” and “fathers”.  In our time, families are fragile, relationships shallow and denominations are becoming more obsolete by the generation.  There has never been a time to find your friends who value what you value, your tribe to find your mission and a family to find your father (not gender specifc).  Denominations compel us to gather around truths to form factions but fathers compel us to gather around truths to find families.

“In a world that values information for the taking we choose to value investment for the making.  ”

Good spiritual leaders can spot potential a mile away.  Prophetic leaders call out the potential in others more than the opportunity for others.  Opportunities are fleeting for people but potential is the foundation in people.  Paul sees the potential and molds him into not just a great man but a spiritual son.  Timothy isn’t seen as part of an evangelistic formula for the church but part of an eternal family in the church.   He becomes a son... an extension of family.  Timothy isn't just a mentee but a model of what Kindom power can look like.  There is so much trust in Timothy that Paul can send his "son in the faith" to show an entire city what the Kingdom of God can look like.  Paul isn't sending a book of doctrinal truths but a brotherhood of sons to represent to the church who God is, what power can do and what family can look like.  Which compels God to make a a stunning and clarifying separation in the Scriptures here to help people in the church recalibrate from “puffed up teachers” to “powered up fathers.” To remind us (at the end of 1 Corinthians 4) That the Kingdom of God is not just talk but power.

“We weren’t meant to burden a profession but to build a Kingdom.”

Maybe this is my plea:   As spiritual leaders to the next generation, let’s be less “informational firehoses” to those we are leading and be more “inspirational fires" to those who are following.  Remember verse 20, "the Kingdom is not in Word but power."  The original language means it's not about "logos" but about "dunamis."  There seems to be a lot of teachers who were good at providing a lot of words to people but lacking power.  We live in an age of a lot of words on a screen...in a world with a lot of information.  And it's easily accessible.  I can find the greek word for donkey or the history of the Post-It Note in a matter of 10 seconds.  We aren't lacking information.  In a time and a world of "information" there is something that is spiritually potent about "impartation."  Impartation is from the Latin word,  impartīre, which is made up of two words.  The first word means“in” and the second word means "a portion or division of a whole that is separate or distinct piece, fragment, fraction, or section.”  In other words impartation means to put a distinct piece of you, your mission, vision, values and experience in someone else.  You can give people a piece of information or you can give them a portion to be put in them.  Mentorship, cohorts and families have never been so important to people.  In a world that values information for the taking we choose to value investment for the making.  In a world that longs for belonging and family, we choose to be fathers with families.   

Which do you choose?

#blunt on the Presence of God

I have a mandate that is:  "I won’t go unless you go with me, God” (Exodus 33:15).  So to do things without God "in it" doesn't make sense as a Christian.  Stop climbing career ladders, dating random people,  and playing "Bible roulette."  Instead pursue a calling and not a career.  Set your standards for finding that future someone and don't settle.  Stop reading the Bible and start letting the Bible read you by letting God speak to you.  The greatest expression of the presence of God is Emmanuel.  God with us.  The greatest event of all time that divides all time is when God came to be with us for all time (Matthew 1:23; Hebrews 4:16). So doing life apart from God has never been God's mission so don't let it be yours.  If God's presence is boring it's not God's fault.  Maybe it's ours.  When you truly experience the presence of God you won’t want to be anywhere else or with anyone else.  One day with God is better than a 1000 other days doing a 1000 other things with a 1000 other people (Psalm 84:10). God’s presence is our preference.  Jesus is our greatest need and our greatest fulfillment.  When our surroundings get us busy and our commitments get us working, we will fight to simplify our lives and focus on this one thing:  to sit at the feet of the one who called us (Luke 10:42), then everything we were doing doesn’t matter because the one who puts the planets into orbit stops our movement for His enjoyment.  When you're with God, there's a joy that is full and not lacking and an enjoyment that the world can never match (Psalm 16:11).  There's meaning that goes deeper than any person on earth can provide.  God has as many thoughts towards you as the shore at your last beach party (Psalm 139:17-18). So simply grab one thought about you from God and don't let it go.  Then grab another.  God not only knows your name but speaks your name (John 10:3).  God not only knows your future but speaks it (Jeremiah 1:5).  We spend a lot by having others tell us who we are and what we are made of.  Instead, spend your life on having God tell you who you are what you're made of by knowing God more.  It’s in the presence of God that miracles are found, miracles abound, wisdom accrues, forgiveness flourishes, battles are won and purpose is found.  In God's presence there is no more sorrow, pain, sin or darkness.  Why? Because God is joy, healing, forgiveness and light.  So when you are experiencing brokenness and wrongdoing...run to God.  When you seek God you will find God (Jeremiah 29:13). 

A MESSAGE TO THE OLDER GENERATION: STOP MAKING FUN OF MILLENNIALS

Stop making fun of millennials.  There I said it.  Millennials have been given names such as “snowflake”, “hipster”, “safe spacers”, “crybabies”, etc.  The older generation has said 20-somethings are lazy, narcissistic and entitled.   These phrases are not only broad statements but it’s insulting.  If you watch TV, the news, and other outlets, you can observe millennials to be the punch line of jokes lately.  Even a new viral Instagram account called Millennials of New York , pokes fun at 20-somethings living in Manhattan.  It’s all in good fun and of course and it’s OK to laugh once in a while to ease the tension between the generations who are having difficulty understanding each other.  Now, the older generation is not free from ridicule either.  Millennials tend to perceive the those over them as:  out of touch, unable to listen, “set in their ways”, judgmental, too corporate, etc.  So let’s stop being frustrated and start getting serious about what the next generation’s contribution can mean to our churches and our community. 

Millennials have so much to offer our church community.  They are energetic, tech-savvy, and eager to make a difference. They have time, influence, passion and vision to make their lives count and your organization stronger.   Unfortunately many older leaders, with good intentions, do not know how to harness this young energy or unleash the potential in these young leaders. This lack of understanding between these two generations leads to frustration with the older generation and discouragement with the younger and can lead to discontentment in their careers and resentment towards the church.  This disconnect creates a gap between millennials and the older generation which gets filled with phrases about the church like:

 “It’s not authentic.”

“It’s too corporate.” 

“it seems so political

“I feel like I can’t be myself.”

“They only care about buildings.”

 “It’s too judgmental.” 

These statements are not true about church or what church was meant to be.  The church is supposed to be a place where: “You can be yourself”; “feel like a family”; “be who God made you to be”; “you can come as you are!”; “believe our building to be a home base to save the world”; etc.  This is the truth of what the church should be and this is the heart of healthy, sincere, older leadership.  

There is a disconnect. 

There is a gap between older generation and the younger generation.  We can fill in the gap with assumptions, false emotions and name-calling or we can fill it in with the truth.    Psalm 145:4-6 says this about how older and younger generations should work together:

One generation shall praise Your works to another, And shall declare Your mighty acts. On the glorious splendor of Your majesty And on Your wonderful works, I will meditate. Men shall speak of the power of Your awesome acts, And I will tell of Your greatness. -Psalm 145:4-6

So let’s tell this next generation how great God is and how we can learn from each other.  Let’s ”praise God’s works to another” and celebrate what God is doing across the earth. Let’s refuse to dismiss the next generation and choose to bring us closer, work with millennials and see them become the next generation leading the world closer to Jesus.  

One of the greatest generational  tragedies in the Bible is when Solomon dies, and his son, Rehoboam, takes over the Kingdom.  He’s a young King preparing to give his inauguration speech. This is his moment to lead, to inspire and be someone who has the platform and the presence to bring a nation together under new political power.  He consults the older leadership of the generation prior to him, those who served his father Solomon and his grandfather, David.  Then he consults the younger leadership, his friends and entourage, etc.  Who does this young king listen to:  

“The king answered the people harshly, for he forsook the advice of the elders which they had given him, 14 and he spoke to them according to the advice of the young men.” 1 Kings 12:8

The young King, set up for leadership, poised to lead the next generation into triumph, chose to disregard the advice of the older generation and the result was a Kingdom divided.  The older generation separated themselves and the younger generation applauded themselves.  The result was a nation that never came back together.

 So how do we avoid creating a damaging divide between generations?  Working well with millennials.   

10 WAYS TO WORK WELL WITH MILLENNIALS:

1.  Be flexible.

The millennial generation has been shown flexibility through their entire lives, from their schedules as children, their family structures being shaken up, to how schools and universities function today, etc. Promoting rigid work environments forcing millennials to adhere to a strict office policies with no flexibility is a quick way to lose young staff. Use technology to inspire your millennials for greater work output. For example: Instead of getting frustrated at the phones in your millennials hands, give them a productive way to use their phones to benefit your church.  Put training online for your team to participate in instead of meeting in a sterile office, do a 10 minuteonline search for creative ideas at your church’s next creative meeting, etc.  Creating a system of flexibility when it comes to work rules appeals to this generation's preference to resist rigid work systems and practices.  Of course, there are concerns when it comes to millennials abusing these types of privileges. However, your drive isn’t to “prevent abusing privileges” but “inspire creativity and incite motivation” in your organization and leadership.  So choose to see motives and intent first before you see their motions and actions.   

2.  Give them Permission to fail.

Millennials will fail.  They don’t have the life experience or the maturity as the older generation does.  But there's the problem:  older leadership tends to give mundane tasks until they “earn” their worth and serve their time. From a generation that wants it “now” that takes incredible patience and process that some millennials won’t wait around for, unfortunately.  Millennials are more tech savvy and innovative than we give them credit for. So help them reach their potential now by giving them responsibility earlier to help them discover their capacity.  Give them a seat at the tables where key decisions are made.  We need to stop underestimating the next generation and start understanding the next generation.  When we do, they will show us they got what it takes even though it’s a little unrefined.  Realize the question isn’t “IF they fail’” but “HOW will you help them recover” when they do?  Give them permission to make mistakes and when they make one…don’t hold it so much against them.  As a leader be less dismissive and more developmental with those around you because people were patient with you so shouldn't you be patient with them?    Let them fail “forward” and watch them become your best employee.  Many millennials came from “helicopter parents” who constantly told them they could do no wrong. This obviously doesn’t fly in the real world. It is inevitable that young leaders will make many mistakes as they grow. Churches can tend to focus on the negative rather than noticing the good things young staff members are accomplishing.  Focus on the good they are doing and let them become more confident as someone on your team.

3. Practice reverse mentoring.

We know we have a lot to give millenials and show them as the next generation.  But millenials can also  teach us a thing or two.  Millenials can teach us how to expand the reach of our churches.  For example,  What if we leveraged the power of their gift of online connectivity to bring robust excitement to our church and organization to resource, to create and navigate a strong online presence, to upgrade our technical systems, to create a social media platform and make our organization known online, etc.  Their superpower is leveraging the internet so “let them loose” and watch your organization become seen and heard like never before.  Millennials can show us how to connect more effectively with the next generation.  Because they are more tech savvy than any other generation ever,  iPhones, laptops, iPads, gaming systems, apps are just normal. If you want a response, text first, then call. Or direct message first. Or send a Facebook message. What you see as the older generation as “insincere or shallow” is normal to a millennial. So connect as often as you can.   Millennials have grown up with access to the most information in history.   Millennials can teach us a lot about what culture is thinking.  Ask them about what they value, how they think about critical topics such as racism, same-sex attraction, abortion, living together, etc.  Millennials are cultural landscape experts.   When was the last time you asked for input from a millennial into your speech, sermon or public event? Let them speak and you listen…really listen. Collect and use that dialogue to build sermons, drive community life discussions and compel you to change your ideas on how things could and should work.  Even young David told the older Saul that his armor didn’t work for David’s battles (1 Samuel 17:39).   So let the younger generation try out their armor and see what they can do.  I’m sure it never crossed Saul’s mind that a slingshot could defeat an army.  Sometimes we put too much trust in our "armor mentorship" and not enough in the next generations mentorship.  If Saul got mentored in “Slingshot 101” then maybe we could too.  So when they challenge “your armor”, just let them take up their slingshot.  Because they may be the giant killer you’ve been waiting for. 

4.  Stop micromanaging and start macro-trusting.

Millennials need permission and space to for them to thrive on their own terms at times.  Micromanaging the workflow of this next generation of leadership has potential to stifle their passion and dull their creativity.  Start empowering them and give them the resources, time and the place to work.  Once they are empowered they will thrive and you will not be disappointed but  impressed.  I have the privilege to be around experienced, veteran leaders who are incredible leaders in their field.  But I’ve  also been around some leaders and churches  who are afraid of letting go of their power and control. They hire young team members because they’re cheaper or  easier to manage perhaps but  they refuse to allow these new millennial hires to participate in decisions that matter. The older generation can be control freaks. It’s time we took some risks on these young leaders and allow them to experience the one thing that equips a person to really become a leader: responsibility. That means we need to be risk-takers. So get to know them, learn to trust them and trust them by delegating projects and ministry  to them so they can earn the right to be followed.  

5.  Leverage their passion for personal mission. 

Here’s what I mean: They are not interested in climbing ladders but making a difference.  Give them a calling and not a career.  Give them purpose to manage not portfolios to manage.  Career trajectories are not the same anymore and millennials like options.  So give them some.  Working and serving at the same job for 30 years and collecting pension is not important to them as it was to you.  They are not interested in laboring long hours building a temporary kingdom for one person or working for a “personality.”  But it is about working their guts out for a cause and vision bigger than themselves. Cause is important.  So tie in compassion and justice to their “normal everyday.” Causes and opportunities to give back are essential to a millennial and motivating. Find creative opportunities to partner with your missions’ organizations.  What if your missions project went from collecting an offering to promoting crowdfunding (peer-to-peer fundraising by engaging your network to empower one another to donate to causes, build relationships and make money). Have millennials create awareness campaigns for causes tied to your global missions projects.  Inspire your millennials to build bridges with your local needs (backpack drives, food donation opportunities, etc.).  It may not fit as easily in your missions’ box but you are creating an opportunity for your church to be seen and heard. 

6.  Explain the "why" often.

Millennials won’t buy into WHAT you’re doing as much but they will buy into WHY you’re doing it.  Young leader’s need to know you are committed to helping people more than you are interested in growing numbers. And your WHY is most likely tied to that.  Recently, my friend Brad Lomenick said this about this topic:

Your identity is WHO you are. Your assignment is WHAT you do. Your calling is WHY you do what you do. - Brad Lomenick

Millennials love their calling.  So when you focus on their calling, the WHY connected to their job,  it will also reinforce the WHY connected to your organization.  They are attracted to passion and purpose.  Perhaps our older generation did a disservice to the next generation by telling them to constantly "live a purpose-driven life.” While that’s not bad advice, it is limited. We weren’t telling them the entire picture.  Maybe that’s why millennials struggle with work ethic.  Millennials are walking around wondering, “When is this job going to start being fun all the time?” Millennials assume that  every moment at work should be gratifying; that each day should be filled with meaningful and satisfying work. That’s never the case.  Work has it’s good and bad day.  Work has it’s fun and it’s “boring stuff.”  Helping millennials see this is critical for their success.  Simon Sinek says,

"Working hard for something we don’t care about is stress but working hard form something we love is passion.”  -Simon Sinek

So give them a reason to “love “ their job.  And that is connected to the why.  Oh, and also, the “why” clarifies the “win.”  So don’t dismiss the power of sitting down with your millennial and defining what the win looks like. Most likely your “win”  explain the “why.” Clearly describe what the expected outcome should look like and how they will know that they accomplished the vision.

7.  Give them a reason to stay with you for the long haul.

One of the biggest trends among millennials is finding out how they can easily maneuver themselves out of the corner office and into their own businesses or look for better opportunities.  You can stop the desire for these young leaders to leave by doing this simple thing:   giving them more responsibility.  They crave exciting opportunities, creative environments and developmental moments. So give them opportunities early with responsibility. They don’t want to wait their turn. They want to make a difference now.  If we don’t recognize this, they will find an alternative outlet for influence and responsibility somewhere else. Whether that’s right or wrong, its true.  Empower them early and often. Older leaders have to understand younger leaders have a much broader and global perspective, which makes wowing millenials much more difficult.  They’ve been exposed to just about everything, so the sky is the limit in their minds. So be less concerned about “chaining them to their desk to do the tedious” let’s be more intentional about “championingtheir dreams to do the miraculous.”

8.  Lead by example. 

Millenails want examples that can be trusted.  Many parental, political, spiritual, athletic and famous examples have let them down. So choose to be one of the few that they can look up to.  Many older leaders think millennials aren’t interested in generational wisdom transfer. This is not true. Younger leaders are hungry for mentoring and discipleship.  So build it into your organizational environment!  Create a monthly mentorship group at a coffee shop with you and your younger staff, give them “office hours” to simply talk about whatever they need to (work and non-work-related issues.  Broken homes have created a loss of role models for many young people.   There is a need for strong, “family-like” role models and the church is the best place to find them.  So create a family environment. Have “family dinners” as a staff.  Take time for “family prayer time.”  Make sure the work environment is experiential and family oriented. Lead each person uniquely. Creating immovable standards or rules that apply to everyone no matter isn’t helpful.  I don’t connect with my kids the same (they are at different ages and stages and genders).  So don’t be afraid to customize your approach at work. (I’ll admit, this one is difficult too!)  Be a father in the faith.  Paul said we have a lot of teachers of faith, but a father in the faith is a rare find. Stop complaining about the person you wish they would be and start being the person they hoped you would be.  Even if you don’t’ have the time, find older mentors who do.  This gives them a chance to understand your church or organization while learning from a proven leader. Some churches have started internship programs to inspire millennials with their best practices.  You can do the same.   Millennials love opportunities for quality time-individually and corporately. So make quality time a priority with your millennial-especially when they are new on the job.  Throwing millennials right into their tasks when they come on board your church or organization is a set up for failure.  Give them a week to not produce but to simply relate.  Have them visit different department and simply soak up relationship, environment and culture.   Churches can travel at such a fast pace that it is tempting to let new team members hit the ground running. This can communicate a negative culture to the new team member and also presents an environment that reacts to circumstances rather than proactive strategy.

9.  Make authenticity a standard in your culture.

Millennials are cynical at their core, and don’t trust someone just because they are in charge.  So help them trust you by being authentic.  And you will probably have to go first, so give them the gift of going second.  So be authentic.  Authenticity gives you a strength and authority in the room.  It promotes trust, influence and sincerity like now other.  I’ve heard it said,  “authenticity trumps professionalism.”  So be authentic with your young leadership.  Authenticity dismantles who others want you to be and enhances who you’re supposed to be and inspires who could be.   And don’t just share the easy stuff but get real and share the dirt.  Authenticity says, “this is who I am” and vulnerability says, “this is what I’ve done.”  Vulnerability doesn’t mean that you’re weak, it means that you’re brave enough to embrace that you don’t have it all together and lean into the God who does. One of our deepest desires, and valid needs, as human beings is to be known and seen. We long to have someone look at us, know every nook and cranny of our hearts, and at the end of the day still love every part of us.  This not only helps millenials know who they are but who you are.  This next generation needs to know you are real and that you can be trusted. 

10.  Speak into their future.

Speak more into their potential and less into their profession.  Or in other words:  who can they be and what can they do?  Tell them what you believe they can do. Tell them what opportunities await them if they are willing to put in the effort. Give them a future they can believe in.  Put yourself back in their shoes for a moment. Picture your boss encouraging you and taking time to say things like, “I’m really impressed with your growth, and I can see you getting a promotion if you are willing to put in the effort,” or your parents telling you they know you are capable of doing more than you are doing now. After hearing that aren’t ready to become the person others believe you can be? Hard-working millennials need to hear us tell them directly, “We believe you are capable of creating a better future.” Even God knows we need this:

Because of your partnership of the Gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”  Philippians 1:6

 If God can do this so should we.  And you can’t speak into their future if you can’t see it.  Sometimes millennials need you to see into their future for them.  They need to know what you are believing for them and what you see in them.  

Any I am forgetting or you would add?

How to Know if You're an Insecure Leader

 Do you find yourself indecisive, unclear, hesitant and afraid?  The root of it might be...insecurity.  Even the best leaders aren't immune to it's crippling effects. 

So how do you know you are being insecure as a leader? 

 

Here are 10 behaviors to determine if you are an insecure leader:

#1 – You see people as working for you and not with you.

#2 – Everyone who pushes back on any of your ideas is automatically branded as disloyal.  (Because for you “ loyalty” is defined as, “loving everything I say and do!”)

#3 – Every time someone begins to say something good about someone else you always have to be the person who says, “yes, but what you don’t know about them is…” and from that point tear them down under the disguise of being concerned about them.

#4 – You get jealous when someone on your team receives any sort of public affirmation but you are not mentioned at all.  (Remember how Saul felt when it was said, “Saul has slain his thousands, and David his tens of thousands.”)

#5 – You cannot celebrate what God is doing in other churches.  (OR, you always critique instead of celebrating!)

#6 – You always believe someone on your staff is going to attempt a coup and try to take over your role as a leader.  (This leads to suspicion and distrust, which will destroy ANY team.)

#7 – You dismiss what God is doing in another ministry because it does not line up exactly with where you are theologically.

#8 – You lead through intimidation, always threatening to “fire someone” if things “don’t shape up around here.”

#9 – You really do like the fact that people on your staff are afraid of you.

#10 – You feel the need to prove yourself in every meeting you are in by seizing every opportunity you have to speak, believing that everything in the meeting is not going to be its absolute best until you have had your say about it.

On some level, we all have tendencies to be insecure at times but I have found the best way to battle insecurity:  be comfortable being yourself. 

Seems simple but being you is the best way to crush insecurity.  Being inauthentic produces insecurity and there result of it in it's broadest sweep is mistrust.  If you're trying to be someone you're not, others will not trust you. 

So enjoy your job, community and life by being secure by being yourself and watch this year as being one of the best yet!

Why I'm Not Following A God of Rules

Now that I have your attention.

There is a misconception in culture that God wants to stop you from enjoying your life but to be miserable as a Christian.  That God wants to suck the fun out of your Christian life.  That's not that far off as if you walk into some churches, there is anything but joy in it's community or in it's weekend worship experiences.   There seems to be a focus on what we can't do, what we can't wear, who we can't be with, what we can't listen to, etc.  Although some may have good intentions, the end result is a community that is more focused on what they stand against instead of what they believe for.

I will say right up front:  sin is bad and should be avoided at all costs.  Choosing to disobey God results in a life of difficulty, pain, misery and death.  That's in the Bible (Romans 6:23).  Choosing to disobey God will not bring you the life you dreamed about and unfortunately it will intimately become a nightmare.  You may not see it now...but it will not end well.  In this life and in the life to come. 

“ I choose to embrace who I am WITH God than resisting who I am WITHOUT God. ”

But this becomes the problem.  God doesn't want us to be sinful but God wants us to be Holy.  For some, "Holy" is a word that we synonym with a cranky old woman with her hair in a tight bun who is pointing a bony finger at you telling you to "stop doing the devil's work and be holy like the Lord."  That image isn't supposed to be a "specific person" but a metaphor of how see rules in the church  (although I feel I see that character in movies of most "christian folk" -  uptight, sour and living out of touch from the rest of the world).  That's not Holiness.  

What if we saw Holiness from a different perspective.  

What if we saw Holiness as not "what I can't do" ... but "who I'm with." God says "be Holy as I am Holy" NOT "do holy like I do Holy" (1 Peter 1:15-16; Leviticus 20:26).  Rather than making my list of "NO's" to God I'm choosing to focus on my single "YES" for God!  The Bible calls it our "one thing" :

One thing I ask from the LORD, this only do I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze on the beauty of the LORD and to seek him...." Psalm 27:4

What if Holiness was setting yourself apart to be with God?  So I choose to embrace who I am WITH God than resisting who I am WITHOUT God.  I choose to be WITH God (exclusively God's,  "set apart" for the Lord, Holy).  This makes my devotion to God less about "what I can't do throughout the day" and more to "know God more throughout the day. "  This makes my mission less about  "being in the world but not of it" and instead becomes more about "belonging in the world and changing it" because that was God's desire from the beginning.  We focus less on restrictions instead of the permissions.  God's purpose in the beginning wasn't to have an exhaustive list of rules (he only had one) but for us to enjoy the Garden of Eden:

Then the Lord God took the man and put him into the garden of Eden to cultivate it and keep it. The Lord God commanded the man, saying, “From any tree of the garden you may eat freely;  but from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat from it you will surely die.”  Genesis 2:15-17

Eat freely.  

Who doesn't love to eat freely.  That's vacation for me.  That's Thanksgiving in the Pastian household.  That's birthday week for everyone in my family.  That's Olive Garden on all-you-can-eat pasta night.  It's no holding back but enjoying what we have worked for, what we have grown and made together as a family.  Those words that wouldn't bother me if I didn't have a pretty solid "dad bod" right now (don't worry I'm working on it...kind of).  But these are life-giving words to Adam and Eve who were given permission to be in the garden and enjoy the relationship of their creator and the fruit of their labor.  "Eat freely" was the freedom of God and man to enjoy the each other in the garden and have a communion like no other.  Our relationship with God is to be cherished.  It's to be pursued.  It's who we were meant to be and how we were meant to live.  From the beginning God was not a "God of rules" but a "God of freedom."  And this freedom was to enjoy the relationship with God that was always meant for us.  There was only one rule in the garden of Eden "don't eat from the tree."  Because love is choice and never forced.  So that single tree made us choose God or in other words choose love.  God's love.  

“What if we saw holiness as not “what I can’t do” but instead saw holiness as “who I’m with.” ”

But sin damaged us to need rules.  The lie from the enemy of our souls was small enough and just twisted enough to cause us to lose our freedom and become corrupt from sin.  So God HAD to give us more rules...to save us from ourselves.  These rules came in the form of the 10 commandments, the book of Deuteronomy with rules of worship and conduct, then we have the Mitzvot (the 613 commandments Jews follow), and the list goes on..  Not to mention church cultural rules of don't live together, don't drink, don't go to R movies, don't listen to secular music, don't wear too much make-up, don't wear a bikini in the summer to a youth event, etc.   

But Jesus came to simplify our Christian lives by boiling it down to two commands:  Love God and love your neighbor as yourself.  Jesus brings us back to love, again.  Relationship with God, again.  That was accomplished on the cross to restore us back to our original design, purpose and plan:  to live in communion with God again.  Like we were supposed to.  

And now...our choice isn't to say NO to all the temptations but to say a simple YES to Jesus.  I choose Christ.  In the beginning we choose God over the tree.  In the now we choose Jesus over sin.  Because when I choose Christ: 

I forgive seventy times seven

I love my enemies

I keep my body pure till marriage

I have self-control not to be a stumbling block to others

I make healthy habit choices to not get drunk, smoke, etc.

I bring peace to volatile situations

I am patient in relationships

I give my money away to Kingdom building and hurting people 

I avoid sin to not entangle myself again

Because He whom the Son sets free is free indeed (John 8:36)

If you see this as permission to do what you want when you want...then Jesus isn't Lord of your life.  For Jesus to be Savior and Lord means He not only redeemed you but purchased you as His own.  You are not yours...but belong to Christ.  But in that purchase, He showed you love and the right way to live.  So I choose to follow a Holy God because Holiness is what I am longing to have. 

HOW DO YOU FOLLOW A GOD OF HOLINESS:

Be WITH Christ.

It's hard to sin in the presence of God.  So desire the presence of God daily.  Read the Bible, pray and seek God regularly.  There's no sin in God's presence in heaven and there won't be when you are in God's presence in your room, service, etc.  Why?  Because you can't help but repent, confess your wrongs to God when in prayer, church, etc.  So choose be with God as often as you can and watch your life slowly become less sinful and God become more wonderful.

 Be LIKE Christ.  

When you are like Christ you won't sin and hurt yourselves and others.  Turn the lie of the devil to "be like god" back on him and truly "be like GOD."  The more time you spend with God, the less you will sin against God and become like God.  Here are some Scriptures to get you thinking:  

the one who says he abides in Him ought himself to walk in the same manner as He walked.  1 John 2:6

For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand so that we would walk in them. Ephesians 2:10

Be imitators of me, just as I also am of Christ. 1 Corinthians 11:1

Beloved, now we are children of God, and it has not appeared as yet what we will be We know that when He appears, we will be like Him, because we will see Him just as He is. And everyone who has this hope fixed on Him purifies himself, just as He is pure. 1 John 3:2-3

Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God. Ephesians 5:1-2

Live for Christ.

When you choose to live for Christ, it's not about you, your wants or even your dreams.  Because when you delight in the Lord, He gives you the desires of your heart.  When you choose Jesus you want to see people forgiven, the hungry fed, the broken healed, the bound set free, etc.  Those desires that are Christ become your desires.  For you have been crucified with Christ and it's not longer you who live but Christ who lives in you and this life you now live your live for Jesus who loves you and gave Himself for you.  

Any thoughts on this you would like to share?

How to talk about race, gender and other cultural controversies as a Christian

I’m watching a “divide widen” right before my eyes.  I see a country turning on each other.  We’ve heard political statements made about race, transgender, refugees,  women’s marches, homosexual cake-making,  celebrities in pink beanies, etc. and the list goes on.  I watch the division in our country become more visceral, I ask the question as a Christian: 

How do I respond? 

What do I say?

It’s hard.  Sincere Christians don’t want to offend people but desire to love people.  Followers of Jesus don’t want to keep others away from “knowing Jesus.”  The church doesn’t want to to be known for being closed-minded, out of touch or hateful in any way.  With tensions high, we don’t want to be the center of controversy, drama or arguments.

So we chose to be silent, disengaged from conversations on critical topics in culture.  Doesn’t Jesus say, “Don't have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels” (2 Timothy 2:23)?  The key word is "foolish."  The obvious characteristics of foolishness is "yelling, screaming, fighting, etc". I'm talking about smart dialogue to make us and our communities better.  So instead if having "everything to do with critical conversations" we choose  “opt out” of these essential dialogues  Jesus meant for us engage in.  Without “Christian voice” in the narrative….like any conversation, it becomes one-sided. 

But I want to challenge Us with this:  We have an obligation to engage in what is happening in culture.  Jesus walked into culture and asked hard questions and brought clarity with love, honesty and hope…we should do the same.  That doesn’t mean we won’t be in the middle of cultural arguments and issues.  Jesus was in the middle of controversy but with a grace that allowed others to hear what He had to say.  Sure he wasn’t void of arguments from the cultural and political leaders of His day…but He chose to speak life and truth into the current national climate of the first century.  Christ in us compels us to speak with the same grace, the same life and the same truth into our our culture as well. 

It’s not left and right.  It’s not their side or my side.   As Christians, there is only one side…God’s side.  God’s Kingdom is one of acceptance, unconditional love, honor, forgiveness, grace and hope.  I’m reminded of a political leader of the day, Joshua, who was engaging in wars, fighting wars, leading people, making policies, standing for what was right.  There was a battle ensuing and a conflict was evident between two sides and when Joshua asked God whose side are you on…mine, right?  God answered with an “I’m on MY side.”  If you are lover of Jesus then there is only one side…God’s side.  When you’re on God’s side you DO take a stand.  When you take a stand against injustice, you fight for oppressed, you care for the fatherless, you give to those that are living without...you take a stand WITH God.  

“It’s less about engaging your political views but engaging your Gospel views with others.”

THIS is God’s side.  This is the side that says ALL people are created by God and in the image of God.  It’s the side that says EVERYONE has value.  ALL people are worthy of dignity and respect regardless of ethnicity, wealth, gender or status in life.  Jesus transcends the barriers of prejudice and we should too.  Jesus said when he was speaking to the crowd that if you want to make a difference spiritually in your city then treat the guy next to you the way you would want to be treated or to quote the Bible, “love your neighbor as yourself.”  As human beings, that can be hard to do.  So the people responded, Who is my neighbor?”  And that’s when Jesus tells the story of the “Good Samaritan.”  While a series of “religious people” chose to “opt out” of the “carnage in the streets” a Samaritan man chose to not just engage but help and invest (he paid for hospital bills and hotel rooms) in seeing this person become a better person (Luke 10:25-37)

“It’s not about enforcing your political views but engaging in your Gospel heart with others.”

Jesus modeled it beautifully and encourages us to do the same.  How we treat and love our neighbor is at the very core of what it means to be an authentic follower of Jesus. If the greatest commandment is to love God and love our neighbor as ourself then walking across the “roads” and “into the streets” where we go to others who think and believe differently than we do is the heart of the Gospel.  Samaritans and Jewish people were "racially charged" because of their past.  Simply put:  there was a racial divide between Jewish people and Samaritan people.  So when Jesus speaks of this, Jesus is speaking directly to the racial and political tensions that were evident in the day.  It’s less about engaging your political views with others and more about engaging your Gospel heart with others.  That’s why Christians should choose to win hearts not arguments.  So love your neighbor.  In complicated times such as these, it can’t be more simple than that. 

So how can you thoughtfully engage in what is happening around you?

1.  Put yourself in someone else’s shoes

Many of us don’t know what it’s like to experience racial bigotry, sexual identity accusation, gender inequality, etc.  So do your best to gain understanding.  That’s wisdom according to God: 

“The beginning of wisdom is: Acquire wisdom; And with all your acquiring, get understanding.” Proverbs 4:7

So try to understand where the other is coming from.  This will not only build a bridge but will help calm the waters as you empathize. 

2.  Before you say it…pray it

I’m guilty of just speaking what I’m feeling.  Before you engage with someone or in something…give it some time in prayer.  It’s there you will get God’s heart for your situation and for that PERSON.  It’s a lot easier for you to see where they are coming from when you see how God sees them in prayer. 

3.  It’s not about being political but it’s about being Gospel

Gospel means “good news.”  So be a bringer of “good news” not “bad news" or "fake news."  You can’t have the Gospel without grace.  We need the graciousness of God.  So be a gracious person.  Graciousness is one of the most potent postures you can make when engaging with others.  We believe graciousness overrules combativeness at the end of the day.  Graciousness is this:  Having a forgiving attitude and a compassionate position while walking in wisdom with those whos attitudes and beliefs differ from yours.   So be gracious towards others than being defensive towards others.  

4.  Consider others better than you

Remember … according to Jesus, everyone has equal value.  No human is better than another. That's a hard attitude to have and to be  consistent with.   But Jesus held true to that by having this attitude:  consider others better than you.  The Bible says it best in Philippians 2:3-6 in the Message:

“If you’ve gotten anything at all out of following Christ, if his love has made any difference in your life, if being in a community of the Spirit means anything to you, if you have a heart, if you care— then do me a favor: Agree with each other, love each other, be deep-spirited friends. Don’t push your way to the front; don’t sweet-talk your way to the top. Put yourself aside, and help others get ahead. Don’t be obsessed with getting your own advantage. Forget yourselves long enough to lend a helping hand. Think of yourselves the way Christ Jesus thought of himself. He had equal status with God but didn’t think so much of himself that he had to cling to the advantages of that status no matter what. Not at all. When the time came, he set aside the privileges.”

5. Have conversations not confrontations.

We’ve seen enough confrontation to last us a lifetime.  So let’s start having conversations.  That means it is a two-sided dialogue.   So be a "potent listener."  Listening shows more power and grace than you can imagine. We have to listen in order to be listened to.  Which means don't come in to the argument simply telling me just what to think or what you think but ask me what I think.  How you say it is just as important as what you say.  Stop trying so hard to be “convincing” and start by being “inviting.”  Don’t see barriers but opportunities.  Choose to rally around themes that can do the most good:  love, honor, peace, humility, kindness, forgiveness and hope.  

So if someone asks me,  "Are you against Trump?"  I'm going to rally around the themes of peace, forgiveness and honor by responding with this:

"Instead of who I'm against or what I'm against, let me tell you what I'm 100% for:  human dignity, valuing all races, finding forgiveness to heal and bringing us together in peace. I can see you're hurting over what's happening ... how can I help?"

6.  Practice peacemaking

That means you need to be intentional to bring peace to people, places and discussions.  This is not a peace that is fabricated but a peace that is faith-related.  This is a peace that is not manipulated with the right substance or the right circumstance but a peace that is magnified as a person.  This is a supernatural peace, a Godly peace, that has nothing to do with human beings or human circumstances.  In fact it can’t be produced by anyone but it can be found by everyone .  This peace is a Person.  It’s Jesus.  He is called “the Prince of peace” and He crushed evil like no one else could (Romans 16:20).  So the closer you are to Jesus…the closer you are to peace.  Jesus doesn’t get stressed out, worry, or get afraid but lives in perfect contentment.  You can too.

“Stop trying so hard to be “convincing” and start by being “inviting.””

7.  Be a good neighbor

I know we already said it but we can’t say it enough:  Love God and love your neighbor as yourself.  True joy is NOT found in pursuing our own desires but fulfilling the desires of others.  So we choose to keep our doors open and our lives open as good neighbors to create a better community.  Acceptance is more palatable to culture than resistance so we choose to accept people where they are and influence people to where they could be in Jesus.  So we follow the advice of Jesus,

“Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works.”  Hebrews 10:24

 At the end of the day, isn't it less about proving you're right or wrong and more about seeing others draw closer to the unconditional love of Jesus?

Anything else you would add to this conversation?

Instagramspiration

Challenging you to think critically as The New Young Christian 

How to Change an Unhealthy Community into a Flourishing One

What you surround yourself with matters.  Who you surround yourself is important.  As humans we are expected to grow:  physically, emotionally, spiritually, intellectually, etc.  Just like seeds that need good soil, we need good environments to grow in.  

Jesus was clear that unless a seed is buried in the ground and sprouts and grows,  it is nothing more than just a singular, granular lifeless entity that has no significance that produces nothing (John 12:24) -like that random penny you find in your couch which you look at and think "I guess it's got potential but by itself this penny can't do anything for me by itself sitting next to a bobby pin and a forgotten lego.

Seeds need soil.  Period.  Jesus loves soil.  Period.  Jesus spent more time talking about soil than seed which means a healthy environment, surroundings and culture is more important than you think.  

Our soil (dirt, y'all) is powerful.  Soil sustains life by helping seeds become plants.  Soil provides food, water and air that is needed by plants to grow. The healthier the soil, the more nutrients a plant can soak up. The healthier the plant, the better the fruit. In our natural world, the quality of the soil ultimately affects the health of people and animals. 

“Jesus spent more time talking about soil than seed which means a healthy environment, surroundings and culture is more important than you think.  ”

Our "soil of our environment" is equally powerful.  What we are surrounded by is constantly giving off sustenance for us to consume.  We might call them "cues" that we pick up and apply to our lives.  These cues reflect and even establish our values, priorities, ideas, language, etc.  Your soil, or in other words, your environment is made up of these 5 ingredients: 

Who you are:  Recognition

What you see:  Observation

What you hear:  Conversation

How you do:  Contribution

How you relate:  Cooperation

Don't underestimate the power of your surroundings.  Your "soil" is always teaching, always communicating, always driving decision, always driving actions and behaviors.  Whether you believe it or not, your surroundings have missions, values, goals that are build into your 5 soil ingredients or cues.  What is around us affects us.  You are influenced by your environment... negatively or positively.  

7 Ways to Grow A Healthy Community: 

1.  Go deep

We live in a culture of shallow relationships.  Being connected today means having twitter followers, facebook friends, reality TV romances, Netflix drama, etc.  But these faux friendships aren't deep.  Most of these relationships are pretend, shallow, hollow and superficial.  So we sit in front of our screens and enjoy the dream of friendship:  a story that we wish we had, where there is a group of people we seem to relate to, that seems to understand me, that seem to "like" what I say, and "share" what I enjoy, etc.  In reality we don't have real friendship but real isolation.  Jesus modeled deep friendship by being vulnerable, honest, loving, humble, servant-hearted, etc.  Acts 2:42 says the disciples "devoted themselves to fellowship" and to go deep we have to do the same.  Devote yourself to  A handful of people  and go as deep as you can with them. Most likely these relationships will reciprocate and these will be relationships will have for life.

2.  Give back

Acceptance is more palatable to culture than resistance so we choose to accept people where they are and influence people to where they could be in Jesus.  So we choose to resist a culture of self indulgence so we can live in self-denial modeling and reveling the essence of Christ which is serve other and give back to our community.  The Bible says, "let us think of ways to motivate once another to acts of love and good works " (Hebrews 10:24).  This is the kind of soil that I can grow in. 

“Every culture has “bad” underneath the surface or in other words soil has potential for “weeds” to grow so kill the weeds and feed the flowers and fruit that you want to grow.”

3.  Live open

Being defensive and living a closed life is easy in a broken world.  Our past experiences have conditioned us to be guarded and closed off to  others.  If you live a closed life you will live a lonely life because people will look elsewhere.  So take a risk...and trust.  Simply trusting the process and the person is hard but essential to healthy living.  An open life means having  honest dialogue, palatable conversations about issues that matter, listening and celebrating the stories of others, accepting others where they are at and pacing with others when they are slow to change.  This demands a high level of trust in your surroundings.  So be the first to trust and be the last to resist.   And for some of you you are in healthy soil but you're choosing to remain closed. Not only are you not benefiting those around you but they those around you were not benefiting your contribution. But choosing to be closed off in good soil ...  you're still hurting yourself  and depriving those around you.

 

 

4.  Laugh often

There's nothing like a creative, open and talkative atmosphere  full of smiles and engagement that is attractive and appealing.  Create inside jokes, have phrases that meaningful to you, laugh at yourself and with yourself, etc.  What movie quotes do you share, what tv characters do you celebrate, what songs get you hyped, etc? Identify these and use them as anchors of laughter and celebration in your community.  Also...be secure in your deficiencies, idiosyncracies and personalities because that gives you and others permission to have fun too. 

“An open life means having  honest dialogue, palatable conversations about issues that matter, listening and celebrating the stories of others, accepting others where they are at and pacing with others when they are slow to change.  ”

5.  Engage in honest conflict  

Conflict is rooted in not understanding where others around you are coming from.  So when a conflict arises, rather than trying to "gain understanding" we instead are trying to tell them "what's going on."  Stephen Covey speaks to this in 7 Habits of Highly Effective People when he says, "seek first to understand then to be understood."  So guard yourself against assuming because when you assume you cease to draw close because you "already know" their thoughts and motives and remain at a distance.  If you're going to assume something...assume the best about that person and not the worst!  When you believe the best about someone you can't help but draw closer and draw from them. 

6.  Take responsibility of your surroundings  

Someone has to step up and take responsibility for the health and well-being of your environment.  If you're friends are unhealthy, your romances are dysfunctional, your spiritual life is lacking, your emotions are running high in your "soil" ... you are part of the problem.  When you realize you didn't step up, you didn't course correct, you didn't stop the conversation, you didn't say anything, etc...you were part of the problem.  But you are also part of the solution!  When you stand up and say "my office, friendships, church, neighborhood, etc isn't healthy and I am going to do something about it" that's when real change takes place.  Take responsibility to be the solution and stop being part of the problem.  Even if it's not "your fault" it Is still your responsibility.  It's tough.  I get it.  The absence of tough decisions in your culture means you allow those things to remain.  So make the tough decision and have the tough conversations.  

“So when a conflict arises, rather than trying to ‘gain understanding’ we instead are trying to tell them ‘what’s going on.’ ”

7.  Use your words

Here's a question:  What do you want to be surrounded by?  Write down the words:  honesty, acceptance, generosity, etc.  Finally, once you have identified these words ask yourself if your community is reflecting these attributes.  Lean into and lead towards these attributes.  If you choose to start living these words they will "take root" in your life and be visible to others around you.  Every culture has "bad" underneath the surface or in other words soil has potential for "weeds" to grow.  So you kill the weeds and feed the flowers and fruit that you want to grow.  Discover the bad  and praise the good in your community.  Give energy and attention to the actual values that should be affirmed and the aspirational values you want to see around you.  Discover what you want to become and simply do what you say.  Be honest about your "soil" and be equally honest about what is necessary to change and watch your community flourish. 

Anythjng you you would add? 

3 Powerful Lesson I Learned About Building Authenticity in My Community

Excited to be featured in QARA.org which is an organization that is supports and champions young adults.  For this week's post, please check out my piece and take a look around QARA for inspiration as I share about the power of vulnerability as inspiration for the journey as The New Young Christian.  

http://qara.org/3-powerful-lessons-i-learned-about-building-authenticity-in-my-community/

Part 2: How to move forward into the future you've always wanted

When we worry we hurry.  We want to make our future happen.  So we  recognize frustration at a job, tension in a relationship, sense of dryness in a spiritual life, boredom in a season as possible signposts to exit off our trajectory and head down a different one.  

If if you haven't checked out part 1 of this post check it out here...  

http://www.alanpastian.com/journal/2017/7/21/new-post-for-today

We have been talking on the home base about finding and not missing out on God's future for you.  If you haven't read part 1 you can read it here...

When we worry we hurry.  We want to make our future happen.  So we  recognize frustration and a job, tension in a relationship, sense of dryness in a spiritual life, boredom in a seasonas possible signposts to exit off our trajectory and head down a different one.  Until one day we realize we have got to a place, a future we don't like or that was never meant for us.  A false future. 

How to move forward into the future you've always wanted:

Discover what refuels you and fuel up often

Some things give you energy in life, some things drain you. Figure out what refuels you. Most likely it's not going to be what you think.   Sometimes the most spiritual thing you can do is watch a movie, go to a baseball game, hit up a new restaurant with friends, finally get that redox you've been wanting, take a nap, etc.  What ever fills your tank... do more of it. 

Make your character a priority

Character sustains what God is building around you.    Your skills, talents and personality will take you only as far as your character can sustain you.  Choose to do the right thing no matter what...you won't regret it. 

Don’t live in the valley of indecision

Living with regrets comes from bad decisions or in decision.      Bad decisions are easy to spot because you usually recognize them after you've made them.  Indecision is harder to see. Because deciding not to decide is still a decision.  This avoids living a life with regrets because you "wish you could have done something." Make the best decision you can with the information you have, then pursue it with everything you’ve got from a posture of humility.

“Let your emotions catch up with your obedience because you don’t always have to “feel it” but you should always obey it.”

Book appointments with God and don’t break them

Your calendar will naturally fill up with urgent things other people believe are important.  And you will watch a decade or more pass by without doing anything really significant.  Anything done without God isn’t fruitful. 

I put appointments in my calendar that I don’t move so I keep that time with God and I don’t break them.  I use that time to seek God, pray, have my blank journal page and write down the vision, plans and purposes God has for me.  Then when someone asks you if you’re busy, you can truthfully say “I’d love to help, but I have a commitment with someone and I just can’t break it.”

Forgive again and again and again....

Forgive and trust again.  Don’t let what someone else did sabotage your future.  Let’ your future thrive because you chose to forgive, and move on.  The second you stop trusting people you start living a life of isolation.  And a life of isolation is a life without impact.  Not to mention…you’ll be awfully lonely.

Deal with your issues now

It’s easy to blame others for what’s happened to your life.  And I hate to say it, but the common factor to the issues in your life is mostly going to be you. So deal with you. You have issues. Everyone does.  You may not be able to change the other person but you can absolutely change YOU and how YOU respond to a person or situation. Give people permission to call out your "stuff."  Go have some serious conversations with those that you trust. Do what it takes to deal with your junk.  You'll hi-five your future self!

Anything else you would suggest?